How to Pretend You Have Good Taste in Wine
Watch the film Sideways., Look at the wine label when choosing a wine., If you didn't choose the wine but wish to look engaged in the process of the wine choosing, comment on the actual bottle and its cork., Be ready to show expertise when you're...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Watch the film Sideways.
A fast study in the art of wine doesn't have to be all cramming and no play.
This movie is a fun study of how you can get away with pretending to like wine while in the company of a mate who actually does know wine inside out.
In this film, the clueless-about-wine character simply trails about mimicking his friend's expertise, all in the pursuit of impressing women for the chance of a date.
Watching the antics, you'll realize how much fun it can be to pretend you have good taste in wine.
It's recommended that you enjoy a glass of wine during the film.
You can mimic the gestures used and try any of the ploys that you think will work for you. -
Step 2: Look at the wine label when choosing a wine.
A discerning wine drinker will already be familiar with good wine labels, so may only place stock in the name and year.
As an amateur wine fan, you're less knowledgeable and you'll need to read the lot.
Moreover, since a pretty or funny label doesn't necessarily guarantee good quality contents (and can, indeed, be a way of diverting the attention of less savvy wine drinkers from the sour muck inside the bottle), you need to wise up to the marketing tricks.
It's therefore important to do a quick brush-up on wine labels for the wines likely to be at your wine-tasting event, both local and farther afield.
Alternatively, if you want to just wing it, bookmark a few trusted wine review sites or download some apps to your smartphone before you leave home, then subtly search what others have to say about the particular wine when in situ.
Do this discretely––under the bar, tablecloth, while pretending to text a friend or quickly nip to the bathroom to "powder your nose." Alternatively, make a show of "adding the wine" to your app, giving you the chance to quickly read up on its qualities.
When assessing the label:
Start with the obvious things:
First, check for awards or endorsements––an award winning bottle of wine is always worth trying.
Then, read the back of the bottle.
This information will provide clues about the wine such as the types of fruit, aging process or region where it’s made.
Be aware it's probably dripping in wine terminology about such things as buttery, berry or peachy tones but if the description tickles your fancy, then it's probably worth trying.
Plenty of wine companies are making vintages with names like, “Desperate Housewife” or “Ménage a Trois.” While funny or cute, there’s no guarantee those bottles of wine will be delicious, so be discerning.
Then again, don't be too cynical about the marketing ploys.
While they're in full swing when it comes to wine, not all pretty label pictures are covering up for bad wine inside.
Sometimes the quality of the image and wine actually dovetail, so try not to judge (or misjudge) the wine by its label alone.
Ask the chef or the person responsible for pouring the wine.
Act magnanimous and show your friends that you're willing to let your favorite chef, sommelier, garçon or waiter endorse the choice.
Allowing the serving staff to shine will win you brownie points for being friendly, thoughtful and willing to trust the judgment of the staff.
You can always say you left your glasses at home if you choose really poorly! , (Hopefully your wine is coming out of a bottle––if not, refuse it because that shows you know that it's just "plonk" and not fit for pretending anything about.) Comment on the elegant shape of the bottle and its interesting color or texture.
Or make an informed comment about the cork versus plastic screw cap debate––you can find great statistics or factoids about corks and screw caps online, such as the high cost of shipping corks to New Zealand and Australia from Europe versus the lower cost of screwcaps, the much reduced rate of corking (cork taint) for bottles using screwcaps, the previous facts then being complicated by the sustainability of harvesting cork versus using less-sustainable plastic, and so forth.
Do a quick bit of online research and you can sound amazingly knowledgeable before the bottle even gets opened! , Even if you don't know what you're looking at (besides the obvious fact that it's wine in a glass), you can definitely pretend you're "in the know" by adopting the typical gestures of a seasoned wine taster.
Pick up the glass and gaze lovingly at the color and texture of the liquid within.
A few "ooh, what a deep red velvet cake red" or "this white has an awesome pearlescent quality to it" won't go astray here––the more descriptive, the better.
As for knowing whether or not the wine should be that color, don't fret––you can at least appreciate the color it does present.
To study the color of wine, hold it to your eye level and study the hue with a good, hard stare.
Then get serious.
Gently swish the wine around the perimeter of the glass.
To do this, place the glass of wine on the table and firmly grasp it by its base.
Smoothly swirl the wine around (with the glass still on the table) to get an idea of its texture and volume.
Take care not to swish so hard it sloshes out (although this can be used as a last resort should your friends start getting suspicious about your wine credibility).
Indeed, if you're in charge of pouring, don’t pour a full glass, as you'll need that extra room to swirl and swish the wine around without it spilling on the table.
Take a good sniff of the wine’s aroma.
Try to get your nose down in the glass––avoid actually inhaling wine––although amusing, it's incredibly uncool.
Breathe deeply as if you were inhaling scents from a fresh spring meadow.
Wine appreciation is a combination of appreciating the aroma and enjoying the taste, as outlined in the following two steps. , When it's finally time to drink, only take a dainty sip, then swish it around in your mouth like mouthwash.
At this stage, you're only attempting to "coat your palate".
Give a smile or a knowing look and utter a few "ah, so smooth" comments.
Follow the cue offered by your friends––by this stage you should already have demonstrated enough wine knowledge that a short delay in offering your opinion should be just fine.
Or maybe if you just look ecstatic as you sip serenely, you won't even have to offer a further opinion! Don't spit it out unless you're actually wine-tasting––it'd be bad taste to do so at the dinner table.
After this initial taste, you can drink normally if dining, or finish that glass before repeating the procedure with the next wine at a tasting.
If you've been designated first taster at the table during a dinner party, again only take a small sip and be ready to confirm that the wine is drinkable.
This role is often misinterpreted as one of awaiting for your approval of the wine itself but this initial sip is about ensuring that the wine isn't corked, and that it is going to be okay for all at the table to drink.
If it's good, simply say so, while if it's corked, send it back. ("Corked" refers to the phenomenon whereby the phenols in the cork have reacted with the wine, making it taste like old socks.
Bear in mind that if you've already thought that it smelled like a wet dog, then bonus points to you, as the rank smell is usually the first, most obvious indicator.) Generally it's presumed that the wines offered at a wine tasting won't be corked because those running the event will already have an initial indication before serving each person.
If you think a wine is off but you're not sure, ask the waiter or sommelier to confirm it; this is standard practice. , They might also manage to find vegetables, candy and a variety of other non-grape derived flavors too.
Just roll with it, it's the fun part of tasting wine.
And there is no saying that your palate has to be the same as anybody else's––if you taste bubblegum and smell pretzels while they're all tasting cherries, just smile it out.
You'll get the hang of it soon enough and taste is subjective anyway.
Fruity wine can include aromas and flavors like citrus (grapefruit and lemon), berry (strawberry, blackcurrant, raspberry) and tropical fruit (lychee, melon, banana).
Some wines actually have a hint of vegetables including bell peppers, green or black olives, mushrooms.
Herb and plant flavors are also commonplace in wines, such as mint and even freshly cut grass. -
Step 3: If you didn't choose the wine but wish to look engaged in the process of the wine choosing
-
Step 4: comment on the actual bottle and its cork.
-
Step 5: Be ready to show expertise when you're given your glass of wine.
-
Step 6: Sip the wine first
-
Step 7: don't bolt it down.
-
Step 8: Be aware that winemakers and wine tasters are very fond of finding fruit other than grapes in the wine.
Detailed Guide
A fast study in the art of wine doesn't have to be all cramming and no play.
This movie is a fun study of how you can get away with pretending to like wine while in the company of a mate who actually does know wine inside out.
In this film, the clueless-about-wine character simply trails about mimicking his friend's expertise, all in the pursuit of impressing women for the chance of a date.
Watching the antics, you'll realize how much fun it can be to pretend you have good taste in wine.
It's recommended that you enjoy a glass of wine during the film.
You can mimic the gestures used and try any of the ploys that you think will work for you.
A discerning wine drinker will already be familiar with good wine labels, so may only place stock in the name and year.
As an amateur wine fan, you're less knowledgeable and you'll need to read the lot.
Moreover, since a pretty or funny label doesn't necessarily guarantee good quality contents (and can, indeed, be a way of diverting the attention of less savvy wine drinkers from the sour muck inside the bottle), you need to wise up to the marketing tricks.
It's therefore important to do a quick brush-up on wine labels for the wines likely to be at your wine-tasting event, both local and farther afield.
Alternatively, if you want to just wing it, bookmark a few trusted wine review sites or download some apps to your smartphone before you leave home, then subtly search what others have to say about the particular wine when in situ.
Do this discretely––under the bar, tablecloth, while pretending to text a friend or quickly nip to the bathroom to "powder your nose." Alternatively, make a show of "adding the wine" to your app, giving you the chance to quickly read up on its qualities.
When assessing the label:
Start with the obvious things:
First, check for awards or endorsements––an award winning bottle of wine is always worth trying.
Then, read the back of the bottle.
This information will provide clues about the wine such as the types of fruit, aging process or region where it’s made.
Be aware it's probably dripping in wine terminology about such things as buttery, berry or peachy tones but if the description tickles your fancy, then it's probably worth trying.
Plenty of wine companies are making vintages with names like, “Desperate Housewife” or “Ménage a Trois.” While funny or cute, there’s no guarantee those bottles of wine will be delicious, so be discerning.
Then again, don't be too cynical about the marketing ploys.
While they're in full swing when it comes to wine, not all pretty label pictures are covering up for bad wine inside.
Sometimes the quality of the image and wine actually dovetail, so try not to judge (or misjudge) the wine by its label alone.
Ask the chef or the person responsible for pouring the wine.
Act magnanimous and show your friends that you're willing to let your favorite chef, sommelier, garçon or waiter endorse the choice.
Allowing the serving staff to shine will win you brownie points for being friendly, thoughtful and willing to trust the judgment of the staff.
You can always say you left your glasses at home if you choose really poorly! , (Hopefully your wine is coming out of a bottle––if not, refuse it because that shows you know that it's just "plonk" and not fit for pretending anything about.) Comment on the elegant shape of the bottle and its interesting color or texture.
Or make an informed comment about the cork versus plastic screw cap debate––you can find great statistics or factoids about corks and screw caps online, such as the high cost of shipping corks to New Zealand and Australia from Europe versus the lower cost of screwcaps, the much reduced rate of corking (cork taint) for bottles using screwcaps, the previous facts then being complicated by the sustainability of harvesting cork versus using less-sustainable plastic, and so forth.
Do a quick bit of online research and you can sound amazingly knowledgeable before the bottle even gets opened! , Even if you don't know what you're looking at (besides the obvious fact that it's wine in a glass), you can definitely pretend you're "in the know" by adopting the typical gestures of a seasoned wine taster.
Pick up the glass and gaze lovingly at the color and texture of the liquid within.
A few "ooh, what a deep red velvet cake red" or "this white has an awesome pearlescent quality to it" won't go astray here––the more descriptive, the better.
As for knowing whether or not the wine should be that color, don't fret––you can at least appreciate the color it does present.
To study the color of wine, hold it to your eye level and study the hue with a good, hard stare.
Then get serious.
Gently swish the wine around the perimeter of the glass.
To do this, place the glass of wine on the table and firmly grasp it by its base.
Smoothly swirl the wine around (with the glass still on the table) to get an idea of its texture and volume.
Take care not to swish so hard it sloshes out (although this can be used as a last resort should your friends start getting suspicious about your wine credibility).
Indeed, if you're in charge of pouring, don’t pour a full glass, as you'll need that extra room to swirl and swish the wine around without it spilling on the table.
Take a good sniff of the wine’s aroma.
Try to get your nose down in the glass––avoid actually inhaling wine––although amusing, it's incredibly uncool.
Breathe deeply as if you were inhaling scents from a fresh spring meadow.
Wine appreciation is a combination of appreciating the aroma and enjoying the taste, as outlined in the following two steps. , When it's finally time to drink, only take a dainty sip, then swish it around in your mouth like mouthwash.
At this stage, you're only attempting to "coat your palate".
Give a smile or a knowing look and utter a few "ah, so smooth" comments.
Follow the cue offered by your friends––by this stage you should already have demonstrated enough wine knowledge that a short delay in offering your opinion should be just fine.
Or maybe if you just look ecstatic as you sip serenely, you won't even have to offer a further opinion! Don't spit it out unless you're actually wine-tasting––it'd be bad taste to do so at the dinner table.
After this initial taste, you can drink normally if dining, or finish that glass before repeating the procedure with the next wine at a tasting.
If you've been designated first taster at the table during a dinner party, again only take a small sip and be ready to confirm that the wine is drinkable.
This role is often misinterpreted as one of awaiting for your approval of the wine itself but this initial sip is about ensuring that the wine isn't corked, and that it is going to be okay for all at the table to drink.
If it's good, simply say so, while if it's corked, send it back. ("Corked" refers to the phenomenon whereby the phenols in the cork have reacted with the wine, making it taste like old socks.
Bear in mind that if you've already thought that it smelled like a wet dog, then bonus points to you, as the rank smell is usually the first, most obvious indicator.) Generally it's presumed that the wines offered at a wine tasting won't be corked because those running the event will already have an initial indication before serving each person.
If you think a wine is off but you're not sure, ask the waiter or sommelier to confirm it; this is standard practice. , They might also manage to find vegetables, candy and a variety of other non-grape derived flavors too.
Just roll with it, it's the fun part of tasting wine.
And there is no saying that your palate has to be the same as anybody else's––if you taste bubblegum and smell pretzels while they're all tasting cherries, just smile it out.
You'll get the hang of it soon enough and taste is subjective anyway.
Fruity wine can include aromas and flavors like citrus (grapefruit and lemon), berry (strawberry, blackcurrant, raspberry) and tropical fruit (lychee, melon, banana).
Some wines actually have a hint of vegetables including bell peppers, green or black olives, mushrooms.
Herb and plant flavors are also commonplace in wines, such as mint and even freshly cut grass.
About the Author
Catherine Kennedy
Specializes in breaking down complex DIY projects topics into simple steps.
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