How to Calm Yourself Before Meeting Someone
Change your language., Breathe., Relax your muscles., Clear your head with meditation., Remember, they are a person just like you., Go easy on yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Change your language.
You may feel butterflies in your stomach or tightness in your chest.
Consider that, in our bodies, nervous energy and excited energy often feel very similar.
Therefore, it may not be hard to have your brain make the switch as well.
Tell yourself “I’m so excited to meet this person!” rather than “I’m so nervous!” and see how your outlook changes.It’s easier to tell yourself that you’re excited, rather than to calm down, when you are anxious.
You already have all the physiological responses of excitement going on, so it’s easier to make yourself believe you are excited, rather than force yourself to calm down — which is at the opposite end of the physiological spectrum.
For example, you may have an important meeting with your bank coming up.
Instead of thinking, “I’m dreading this meeting,” you could tell yourself, “I am so excited to meet to talk about this loan!” It sounds silly, but if you laugh at yourself, even better! That will help you relax.
Tell yourself how you are anticipating your meeting rather than being worried about it.
For example, “I can’t wait to meet with my new boss tomorrow!” If you can tell other people as well, even better.
The more ways we can get the brain to process this as a positive event, the better.
Call a friend and tell them how much you are looking forward to meeting the person. -
Step 2: Breathe.
Try to clear your mind of worries and focus on your breathing.
Breathing is one of the best ways to reduce stress.
Just ensure you are taking deep breaths (into your abdomen, not your chest) to get the benefits of stress relief and relaxation.Shallow breathing can make you feel anxious.A good way to make sure you are breathing into your abdomen is to your hands on belly button, and watch them rise and fall.
Your belly should lift your hands and your chest should not move.If you can, try lying down and feeling your belly rise and fall with air.
Focus on nothing but your breathing for a few minutes.
If you are not able to lie down, sit with your eyes closed, and practice breathing, perhaps using a word or image to help you relax. , Softening and relaxing the muscles communicates to the brain that there is nothing to worry about in the environment around you.
When nervous, many people pace, bounce a leg, pick at their clothes, clench their jaws, wring their hands, etc.
This alarms the brain and initiates panic.
Progressive muscle relaxation — tensing then releasing your muscles methodically — may help you calm down.Try doing a “body scan,” starting from the top of the head and scanning down to the tip of the toes, relaxing every muscle along the way.Try these techniques in the hours or even days before the encounter, then try it right before meeting the person.
This allows you to walk into the situation without tension in your body and without nervous tics like those listed above. , Meditation can help you relax, de-stress, and get focused for your meeting.
It will help you feel calmer by lowering your blood pressure.
While meditation takes some practice, simply closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and clearing your mind through focusing on your breath can be beneficial.If you are stressed about an upcoming meeting a few days away, you could set aside some time each to day to relax using meditation.
The extra practice will improve your meditation skills, but will also give you greater calm and focus.
You can find guided meditations online or download meditation apps to help you. , Even if you are meeting the Pope or the Prime Minister, remember, they are just another human being.
Do not make them any larger-than-life than they are.
Stay positive and open-minded, but keep practical expectations.For example, you may be nervous about meeting someone you met online for a first date.
They may seem like Mr. or Ms.
Right from their profile, but stay open-minded to the possibility that they very well might not be.
Readjust your outlook from “first date” to “getting to know someone better.” , Don’t get anxious about making mistakes.
Things happen, and most of the time, you will find other people gracious and willing to help you out.
And if they are not, your encounter will not last forever.
Once you get some distance from the meeting, you will probably find a way to find some humor in it (or at least your friends will).Yes, it’s possible you may have a foot-in-mouth moment when you are meeting someone for the first time, but don’t obsess over such a scenario.
If it happens, apologize, admit your embarrassment, and move on.
Think of a graceful apology if you make a mistake.
For example, if you have been calling this person by the wrong name for the past hour, you could say, “Oh my goodness, I am so embarrassed! Please accept my apology!” -
Step 3: Relax your muscles.
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Step 4: Clear your head with meditation.
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Step 5: Remember
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Step 6: they are a person just like you.
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Step 7: Go easy on yourself.
Detailed Guide
You may feel butterflies in your stomach or tightness in your chest.
Consider that, in our bodies, nervous energy and excited energy often feel very similar.
Therefore, it may not be hard to have your brain make the switch as well.
Tell yourself “I’m so excited to meet this person!” rather than “I’m so nervous!” and see how your outlook changes.It’s easier to tell yourself that you’re excited, rather than to calm down, when you are anxious.
You already have all the physiological responses of excitement going on, so it’s easier to make yourself believe you are excited, rather than force yourself to calm down — which is at the opposite end of the physiological spectrum.
For example, you may have an important meeting with your bank coming up.
Instead of thinking, “I’m dreading this meeting,” you could tell yourself, “I am so excited to meet to talk about this loan!” It sounds silly, but if you laugh at yourself, even better! That will help you relax.
Tell yourself how you are anticipating your meeting rather than being worried about it.
For example, “I can’t wait to meet with my new boss tomorrow!” If you can tell other people as well, even better.
The more ways we can get the brain to process this as a positive event, the better.
Call a friend and tell them how much you are looking forward to meeting the person.
Try to clear your mind of worries and focus on your breathing.
Breathing is one of the best ways to reduce stress.
Just ensure you are taking deep breaths (into your abdomen, not your chest) to get the benefits of stress relief and relaxation.Shallow breathing can make you feel anxious.A good way to make sure you are breathing into your abdomen is to your hands on belly button, and watch them rise and fall.
Your belly should lift your hands and your chest should not move.If you can, try lying down and feeling your belly rise and fall with air.
Focus on nothing but your breathing for a few minutes.
If you are not able to lie down, sit with your eyes closed, and practice breathing, perhaps using a word or image to help you relax. , Softening and relaxing the muscles communicates to the brain that there is nothing to worry about in the environment around you.
When nervous, many people pace, bounce a leg, pick at their clothes, clench their jaws, wring their hands, etc.
This alarms the brain and initiates panic.
Progressive muscle relaxation — tensing then releasing your muscles methodically — may help you calm down.Try doing a “body scan,” starting from the top of the head and scanning down to the tip of the toes, relaxing every muscle along the way.Try these techniques in the hours or even days before the encounter, then try it right before meeting the person.
This allows you to walk into the situation without tension in your body and without nervous tics like those listed above. , Meditation can help you relax, de-stress, and get focused for your meeting.
It will help you feel calmer by lowering your blood pressure.
While meditation takes some practice, simply closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and clearing your mind through focusing on your breath can be beneficial.If you are stressed about an upcoming meeting a few days away, you could set aside some time each to day to relax using meditation.
The extra practice will improve your meditation skills, but will also give you greater calm and focus.
You can find guided meditations online or download meditation apps to help you. , Even if you are meeting the Pope or the Prime Minister, remember, they are just another human being.
Do not make them any larger-than-life than they are.
Stay positive and open-minded, but keep practical expectations.For example, you may be nervous about meeting someone you met online for a first date.
They may seem like Mr. or Ms.
Right from their profile, but stay open-minded to the possibility that they very well might not be.
Readjust your outlook from “first date” to “getting to know someone better.” , Don’t get anxious about making mistakes.
Things happen, and most of the time, you will find other people gracious and willing to help you out.
And if they are not, your encounter will not last forever.
Once you get some distance from the meeting, you will probably find a way to find some humor in it (or at least your friends will).Yes, it’s possible you may have a foot-in-mouth moment when you are meeting someone for the first time, but don’t obsess over such a scenario.
If it happens, apologize, admit your embarrassment, and move on.
Think of a graceful apology if you make a mistake.
For example, if you have been calling this person by the wrong name for the past hour, you could say, “Oh my goodness, I am so embarrassed! Please accept my apology!”
About the Author
Frank Shaw
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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