How to Tell an Ex Employer That Their Reference Letter Isn't Good Enough

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Suggest something your ex-boss could do differently

   You never want to tell someone "that was bad or that was wrong," unless you're training them. (Even then, there are better ways to modify behavior.)
2. 2

   Step 2: on top of what they've already done.

   This is a person who has agreed to help you, as a favor.
   
   It doesn't matter how much you worked your butt off for them
   - technically, they don't owe you anything.
   
   So having a confrontation won't be productive.
   
   Or, even if it makes you feel better to get it off your chest
   - you won't win.
   
   And your goal is to get a better Letter of Recommendation, not a cranky ex-boss. , Context means breaking down for them what you need, and why.
   
   To do this, you may have to re-imagine for yourself: "What do I need this letter to say, and why?"
   
   Use an introduction like the following: "Hey, Mr.
   
   Rogers
   - thanks so much for the letter! It looks great .
   
   Tell you what
   - I just found out that, for the position of Janitor / Software Engineer / Student at Harvard, they're especially going to look at my sources to say: .
   
   Is that something you feel comfortable saying?"
   
   By approaching it this way, you have told your ex-boss that a) they did nothing wrong, and in fact you're grateful they took the time to write a letter, b) that you have specific needs, and c) would they mind filling them for you.
   
   Basically, you asked them to do a simple task and you did all the thinking for them, while making their answer ("yes") seem obvious.
   
   This is the key to persuasion
   - recommend a new action and make it seem simple, without assigning blame.
   
   Make sure you give your ex-boss a deadline by which you need the revisions! , If it doesn't change your ex-boss's approach, then reconsider what you'll do.
   
   If you feel like your ex-boss is impervious to suggestions, find someone else.
   
   You'd be amazed at the people who can recommend you
   - a teacher, a business partner, a clergy member, a babysitting client, an employer of any kind, even a volunteer coordinator.
   
   Be creative when you think of sources.
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   Step 3: Keep in mind that the writer of a Letter of Recommendation is a sensitive relationship.

4. 4

   Step 4: If you think your ex-boss's attitude is redeemable

5. 5

   Step 5: and is likely to give you a better letter with some prodding: the key is context.

6. 6

   Step 6: Once you've fully understood your own needs

7. 7

   Step 7: explain them to your subject.

8. 8

   Step 8: Stay focused on a result

9. 9

   Step 9: not on resentment.

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    Step 10: Try it out.

Detailed Guide

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