How to Work With a Controlling Person
Find out about narcissistic personalities., Learn the basic signs., Learn what motivates narcissists.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out about narcissistic personalities.
Narcissists are pathologically self-centered.
They and others with the more extreme Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) lack empathy, crave admiration, and think that they deserve special treatment.
They are arrogant to the point of grandiosity.
They see their ideas as the best and sometimes only viable ideas, and will strive to protect their egos and status in the organization at whatever cost.Do you have a co-worker who always needs praise or who has unreasonable expectations? Do they inflate their importance and exaggerate their contributions? Do they react angrily to criticism, is easily jealous, and uses others to meet goals? These traits are all related to narcissism, and to other behavioral disorders like antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personalities.
There are many good web resources about narcissists and how to deal with them.
See the Mayo Clinic’s website http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568 for an overview.
Try visiting Psychology Today at https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201408/8-ways-handle-narcissist for some basic tips about identifying and handling a narcissistic personality. -
Step 2: Learn the basic signs.
Because they are so self-centered and lack empathy, narcissists and control-freaks commonly display behaviors that you should be able to identify.
Does your co-worker listen? A narcissist rarely does or belittles opinions because, to them, your concerns are veiled criticisms.
Are they quick to blame? A narcissist is unwilling to accept responsibility for the reason, again, that it would imply a criticism; they instead blame others.
Narcissists are also apt to bully, especially those they see as weak, a threat, or someone who has criticized them.
Keep in mind that your co-worker may conceal their dark side, coming off as charming and generous.
In fact, charm may be the reason why they have succeeded in their job and in hiding their bullying from managers.It is important to know that narcissists are not always purely destructive.
They can bring positive qualities to a workplace.
For example, they tend to be passionate about “their” projects; they can be strong leaders and be highly self-motivated; and they can be great at jobs in PR, marketing, social media, or other outreach., Narcissists are usually of two types: insecure or grandiose.
It may be hard to tell from outward behavior, but narcissists often harbor deep-seated doubts and feelings of shame, fear, and paranoia.
This sense of vulnerability can lead them to lash out when crossed and to swing from arrogance to extreme self-pity.But while vulnerable types care about how they are viewed, other narcissists are self-confident to the point of delusion and see themselves as infallible.
Unlike “vulnerable” narcissists, “grandiose” narcissists are not making up for feelings of inadequacy but simply acting out their expectations.
They truly believe they are superior and rate highly in manipulation and psychopathy (i.e. lack of remorse and empathy).
More apt to meet criticism with rage or to seek revenge, they are in some ways the more dangerous sort. -
Step 3: Learn what motivates narcissists.
Detailed Guide
Narcissists are pathologically self-centered.
They and others with the more extreme Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) lack empathy, crave admiration, and think that they deserve special treatment.
They are arrogant to the point of grandiosity.
They see their ideas as the best and sometimes only viable ideas, and will strive to protect their egos and status in the organization at whatever cost.Do you have a co-worker who always needs praise or who has unreasonable expectations? Do they inflate their importance and exaggerate their contributions? Do they react angrily to criticism, is easily jealous, and uses others to meet goals? These traits are all related to narcissism, and to other behavioral disorders like antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personalities.
There are many good web resources about narcissists and how to deal with them.
See the Mayo Clinic’s website http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568 for an overview.
Try visiting Psychology Today at https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201408/8-ways-handle-narcissist for some basic tips about identifying and handling a narcissistic personality.
Because they are so self-centered and lack empathy, narcissists and control-freaks commonly display behaviors that you should be able to identify.
Does your co-worker listen? A narcissist rarely does or belittles opinions because, to them, your concerns are veiled criticisms.
Are they quick to blame? A narcissist is unwilling to accept responsibility for the reason, again, that it would imply a criticism; they instead blame others.
Narcissists are also apt to bully, especially those they see as weak, a threat, or someone who has criticized them.
Keep in mind that your co-worker may conceal their dark side, coming off as charming and generous.
In fact, charm may be the reason why they have succeeded in their job and in hiding their bullying from managers.It is important to know that narcissists are not always purely destructive.
They can bring positive qualities to a workplace.
For example, they tend to be passionate about “their” projects; they can be strong leaders and be highly self-motivated; and they can be great at jobs in PR, marketing, social media, or other outreach., Narcissists are usually of two types: insecure or grandiose.
It may be hard to tell from outward behavior, but narcissists often harbor deep-seated doubts and feelings of shame, fear, and paranoia.
This sense of vulnerability can lead them to lash out when crossed and to swing from arrogance to extreme self-pity.But while vulnerable types care about how they are viewed, other narcissists are self-confident to the point of delusion and see themselves as infallible.
Unlike “vulnerable” narcissists, “grandiose” narcissists are not making up for feelings of inadequacy but simply acting out their expectations.
They truly believe they are superior and rate highly in manipulation and psychopathy (i.e. lack of remorse and empathy).
More apt to meet criticism with rage or to seek revenge, they are in some ways the more dangerous sort.
About the Author
Shirley Wright
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow cooking tutorials.
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