How to Handle a Tattletale Child
Look for sibling rivalry., Encourage children to celebrate each other's success., Help the tattletale child develop social skills., Reflect on your child’s need for attention.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Look for sibling rivalry.
If two siblings don’t get along, one child might tattle on the other in order to gain pleasure from seeing the other punished.
This same dynamic might be driving tattletale behavior in the relationship between two classmates who don’t get along.To discourage sibling rivalry, pay equal attention to both children.
Praise them both, but not in the same ways.
Attend to the differences that make each child special.
For instance, if Jane and Edwin are engaged in sibling rivalry that leads to tattletale behavior, tell Jane, “You are a great artist.
I am proud of you.” Tell Edwin, “You did a great job on your math test.
Keep up the good work.”If you’re a parent, help your kids develop healthy emotional lives.
Encourage them to share how they feel when things go well and when things don’t go well.
Help them find ways to channel their emotions in productive directions.
Some level of sibling rivalry is normal, but if it lapses into tattletale behavior (or worse, bullying), you’ll need to take steps to correct it.
Schedule some family therapy sessions if your kids engage in extreme sibling rivalry. -
Step 2: Encourage children to celebrate each other's success.
Take the life lessons a step further by teaching children to be happy when someone else does well.
This can help them understand that there is room for everyone to succeed, and no need to undermine people by tattling.
Lead by example! Celebrate other people's achievements and strengths, and do not gossip or unnecessarily criticize others in front of children. , Some kids – both youngsters and teens – haven’t developed the ability to engage constructively in interpersonal problem solving.
In this case, you should work with the child to help them develop social skills.
Encourage the child to smile more, keep their arms at their sides, and look into the eyes of conversation partners and peers.
These nonverbal signals communicate that they are friendly.
Discourage them from crossing their arms, hanging their head, or scowling.Help the tattletale child meet others.
Encourage them to sign up for an afterschool club or intramural sports team.
These social situations will help your child develop a sense of self that reduces their need to tattle on others.
Help the tattletale child become an active listener.
Show them how to nod their head when others are talking and use verbal encouragement like “Yeah” and “I see” when others are talking. , If you’ve been neglecting the tattletale child, they might engage in tattletale behavior in order to get your attention.
Even though the information the tattletale is conveying is not about them, they might become a tattletale – even unconsciously – in order to find an opportunity to earn your praise and attention.You can reduce the tattletale child’s need for attention by paying more attention to them.
Praise the child for doing great work in school, or making a great play on their soccer team.Make sharing a two-way street.
Ask the child to tell you about their day, and take time to show them things you like to do or to talk about your life.
For instance, you might say to your tattletale child, “Tell me about your day.
I am very interested in what you’ve been doing.” Ask follow-up questions where appropriate. -
Step 3: Help the tattletale child develop social skills.
-
Step 4: Reflect on your child’s need for attention.
Detailed Guide
If two siblings don’t get along, one child might tattle on the other in order to gain pleasure from seeing the other punished.
This same dynamic might be driving tattletale behavior in the relationship between two classmates who don’t get along.To discourage sibling rivalry, pay equal attention to both children.
Praise them both, but not in the same ways.
Attend to the differences that make each child special.
For instance, if Jane and Edwin are engaged in sibling rivalry that leads to tattletale behavior, tell Jane, “You are a great artist.
I am proud of you.” Tell Edwin, “You did a great job on your math test.
Keep up the good work.”If you’re a parent, help your kids develop healthy emotional lives.
Encourage them to share how they feel when things go well and when things don’t go well.
Help them find ways to channel their emotions in productive directions.
Some level of sibling rivalry is normal, but if it lapses into tattletale behavior (or worse, bullying), you’ll need to take steps to correct it.
Schedule some family therapy sessions if your kids engage in extreme sibling rivalry.
Take the life lessons a step further by teaching children to be happy when someone else does well.
This can help them understand that there is room for everyone to succeed, and no need to undermine people by tattling.
Lead by example! Celebrate other people's achievements and strengths, and do not gossip or unnecessarily criticize others in front of children. , Some kids – both youngsters and teens – haven’t developed the ability to engage constructively in interpersonal problem solving.
In this case, you should work with the child to help them develop social skills.
Encourage the child to smile more, keep their arms at their sides, and look into the eyes of conversation partners and peers.
These nonverbal signals communicate that they are friendly.
Discourage them from crossing their arms, hanging their head, or scowling.Help the tattletale child meet others.
Encourage them to sign up for an afterschool club or intramural sports team.
These social situations will help your child develop a sense of self that reduces their need to tattle on others.
Help the tattletale child become an active listener.
Show them how to nod their head when others are talking and use verbal encouragement like “Yeah” and “I see” when others are talking. , If you’ve been neglecting the tattletale child, they might engage in tattletale behavior in order to get your attention.
Even though the information the tattletale is conveying is not about them, they might become a tattletale – even unconsciously – in order to find an opportunity to earn your praise and attention.You can reduce the tattletale child’s need for attention by paying more attention to them.
Praise the child for doing great work in school, or making a great play on their soccer team.Make sharing a two-way street.
Ask the child to tell you about their day, and take time to show them things you like to do or to talk about your life.
For instance, you might say to your tattletale child, “Tell me about your day.
I am very interested in what you’ve been doing.” Ask follow-up questions where appropriate.
About the Author
Sandra Wilson
Creates helpful guides on organization to inspire and educate readers.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: