How to Handle Difficult Children

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Understand the child's temperament.

   Different children have different personalities.
   
   When dealing with a difficult child, it is important to understand what type of child you are dealing with.
   
   Is he stubborn? Destructive? Overly emotional? Pay attention to the child's moods, and try to track the factors that seem to trigger difficult episodes.Try keeping a journal of your child's behavior.
   
   This will help you recognize certain situations or events that might cause an outburst.
   
   Ask others (teachers, family members, etc) if they have noticed any particular factors that trigger problematic episodes for your child.
2. 2

   Step 2: Focus on the issues.

   When your child is having an outburst, take a step back and assess the situation.
   
   Part of solving the problem is understanding why it is occurring.
   
   Try to understand whether your child is reacting to something specific (such as being denied a privilege) or if she is upset about something else entirely.For younger children especially, they might not be able to tell you exactly what is wrong.
   
   For example, they might be hungry, cold, or overly tired, and are exhibiting that by crying about the loss of a toy.
   
   Pay attention to the external factors that could be affecting your child's moods. , Maybe you are fighting every evening about your child's bedtime.
   
   Clearly, you need to be the boss, but take a step back and figure out if there is a way to negotiate with your child.
   
   If your child is older (around nine or 12 years old), you might realize that letting your child stay up for an extra 15 minutes each night is an easy solution.
   
   He will feel more independent, and you will have some peace.
   
   For younger children, you might offer him a choice, such as, "You can choose to go to bed now with a bedtime story, or you can choose to go to bed in 5 minutes with no bedtime story." Notice the things that you and your child are fighting over.
   
   If you find yourself repeatedly having the same disagreement, focus on fixing that one situation.
   
   Solving that conflict might ease other tensions in your relationship. , Remember that as children develop, they are dealing with a lot of changes and emotions.
   
   Unfortunately, they are not always successful in articulating their frustrations, and they end up acting out.
   
   Try to be kind and sensitive when dealing with them.
   
   Being kind does not mean that you have to give in to your child's every desire.
   
   You can be firm, yet gentle and understanding.
   
   Express your rules logically and without yelling. , Structure is good for children.
   
   Setting boundaries for difficult children can help them learn to behave in a more appropriate manner.
   
   Make sure that your child understands your household rules, and knows her responsibilities.
   
   Clearly communicate rules to your child.
   
   If she is very young, you might have to repeat yourself every day.
   
   For example, you might find yourself saying at every meal, "No, Stacey, it is not okay to throw food." If your child is a bit older, try making a rule or chore chart.
   
   Being able to visualize responsibilities can help your child retain them.
   
   Hopefully, having boundaries will help you avoid future conflicts.
   
   You should also have boundaries for communicating during conflicts.
   
   Make sure your child knows that you will not tolerate screaming or any destructive behavior.
   
   Make that clear before, during, and after the conflict.
3. 3

   Step 3: Choose your battles.

4. 4

   Step 4: Be sensitive.

5. 5

   Step 5: Set boundaries.

Detailed Guide

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