How to Mend a Broken Relationship
Determine if the other person wants to fix the relationship., Determine why the relationship is in trouble., Talk with your partner about what is bothering you., Listen to your partner’s responses instead of arguing., See the world from your...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Determine if the other person wants to fix the relationship.
There is no sense in trying to fix something if you are the only one willing to do the work.
If your partner is unapologetic for mistakes, dismissive of your desire to talk, or continues hurtful behavior, it might be time to move on.It takes two people to mend a broken relationship.
If you are the only one trying to save things then you will never succeed. -
Step 2: Determine why the relationship is in trouble.
All relationships go through rough patches at one point or another.
As the novelty of your first few months together wears off, problems and stress start to pile up and things you once found cute begin to annoy you to no end.
While there are always small issues in a relationship, some issues can cause problems when they linger under the surface for too long:
You don’t believe you opinion is respected.
You feel like your partner doesn’t care about your needs.
You feel your partner is not helping with chores, bills, kids, etc.
You don't communicate well and/or argue frequently., Many times, relationships end or hit rough spots when there is not adequate communication going on between the two parties.
While difficult, you have to be willing to share your problems and issues with your partner to have any hope of fixing them.Make time to be honest with your partner.
Your concerns have to come out in the open or they will never be fixed.
It can help to write down your problems ahead of time, or discuss them with a close friend so you feel comfortable expressing yourself with your partner later. , Instead of trying to think of what you need to say next, stop and try to understand what they are telling you.
Careful listening shows respect, and will help you both figure out what is going wrong in your relationship. , Too often, couples get caught up in their own emotions and neglect to see why their partner is upset.
This is the easiest way to drag arguments out for days and days, but it can be easily remedied.
Pause for a moment and think about why your partner is upset.
What sorts of mistakes have you made that might bother them?, It is not enough to simply talk about your issues together.
You need to do something to address them.
Once you’ve figured out what is wrong between you, each one of you should come up with at least 2 things that you are going to do to address the issues.
Tell your partner your solutions and ask them to hold you accountable– the only way to mend a broken relationship is to commit to healing it.
If your partner feels like they do all the work, for example, make a list of 4-5 chores that you will commit to doing every day.
If your partner feels like there is no more romance in your relationship, designate a “date” night once a week.
If your partner feels marginalized or unloved, make a point to listen more and talk less during dinner and before bed. , This can be the hardest part of mending a relationship, but also the most crucial.
Forgiveness releases pent up anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t come back later in life, sabotaging all the progress you’ve made.
Remember that no one is perfect, and without forgiveness there wouldn't be a single working relationship on the planet.Forgiveness takes time, so don’t be afraid if you are still angry 1-2 days after an argument.
Keep working on forgiving your partner and you’ll be surprised how quickly you let go of negative emotions.
Talking to your partner and seeing their mistake through their eyes can help you understand the issue and offer forgiveness more readily. , Being together doesn't mean you've got a leash over the other person.
When mending a broken relationship, your instinct might be to spend every waking moment together.
But this prevents the two of you from stepping back and seeing the big picture or your relationship, it’s good sides and bad.
Spending every waking moment together often leads to fighting or feeling trapped.
Remember the expression, “if you love something, set it free.” Stifling or micromanaging people only drives them away.
Trust yourself and your partner to spend some time alone and you will both return happier and healthier. , After a long time with the same person, it is easy to let the problems in your life, like money, kids, or stress, overwhelm the good memories you have.
Try to take a step back from your daily life and think about what you enjoy about your partner, focusing on the reasons you work well together.
This will help your let go of the negative thoughts that may have taken over lately and remember why you are in love.Go through old photo albums and tells stories from your early days together. -
Step 3: Talk with your partner about what is bothering you.
-
Step 4: Listen to your partner’s responses instead of arguing.
-
Step 5: See the world from your partner’s eyes.
-
Step 6: Act on your issues immediately.
-
Step 7: Forgive each other.
-
Step 8: Give each other space and time to heal.
-
Step 9: Remember why you fell in love.
Detailed Guide
There is no sense in trying to fix something if you are the only one willing to do the work.
If your partner is unapologetic for mistakes, dismissive of your desire to talk, or continues hurtful behavior, it might be time to move on.It takes two people to mend a broken relationship.
If you are the only one trying to save things then you will never succeed.
All relationships go through rough patches at one point or another.
As the novelty of your first few months together wears off, problems and stress start to pile up and things you once found cute begin to annoy you to no end.
While there are always small issues in a relationship, some issues can cause problems when they linger under the surface for too long:
You don’t believe you opinion is respected.
You feel like your partner doesn’t care about your needs.
You feel your partner is not helping with chores, bills, kids, etc.
You don't communicate well and/or argue frequently., Many times, relationships end or hit rough spots when there is not adequate communication going on between the two parties.
While difficult, you have to be willing to share your problems and issues with your partner to have any hope of fixing them.Make time to be honest with your partner.
Your concerns have to come out in the open or they will never be fixed.
It can help to write down your problems ahead of time, or discuss them with a close friend so you feel comfortable expressing yourself with your partner later. , Instead of trying to think of what you need to say next, stop and try to understand what they are telling you.
Careful listening shows respect, and will help you both figure out what is going wrong in your relationship. , Too often, couples get caught up in their own emotions and neglect to see why their partner is upset.
This is the easiest way to drag arguments out for days and days, but it can be easily remedied.
Pause for a moment and think about why your partner is upset.
What sorts of mistakes have you made that might bother them?, It is not enough to simply talk about your issues together.
You need to do something to address them.
Once you’ve figured out what is wrong between you, each one of you should come up with at least 2 things that you are going to do to address the issues.
Tell your partner your solutions and ask them to hold you accountable– the only way to mend a broken relationship is to commit to healing it.
If your partner feels like they do all the work, for example, make a list of 4-5 chores that you will commit to doing every day.
If your partner feels like there is no more romance in your relationship, designate a “date” night once a week.
If your partner feels marginalized or unloved, make a point to listen more and talk less during dinner and before bed. , This can be the hardest part of mending a relationship, but also the most crucial.
Forgiveness releases pent up anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t come back later in life, sabotaging all the progress you’ve made.
Remember that no one is perfect, and without forgiveness there wouldn't be a single working relationship on the planet.Forgiveness takes time, so don’t be afraid if you are still angry 1-2 days after an argument.
Keep working on forgiving your partner and you’ll be surprised how quickly you let go of negative emotions.
Talking to your partner and seeing their mistake through their eyes can help you understand the issue and offer forgiveness more readily. , Being together doesn't mean you've got a leash over the other person.
When mending a broken relationship, your instinct might be to spend every waking moment together.
But this prevents the two of you from stepping back and seeing the big picture or your relationship, it’s good sides and bad.
Spending every waking moment together often leads to fighting or feeling trapped.
Remember the expression, “if you love something, set it free.” Stifling or micromanaging people only drives them away.
Trust yourself and your partner to spend some time alone and you will both return happier and healthier. , After a long time with the same person, it is easy to let the problems in your life, like money, kids, or stress, overwhelm the good memories you have.
Try to take a step back from your daily life and think about what you enjoy about your partner, focusing on the reasons you work well together.
This will help your let go of the negative thoughts that may have taken over lately and remember why you are in love.Go through old photo albums and tells stories from your early days together.
About the Author
Kayla Hill
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: