How to Change Your Focus

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Step away from the issue(s).

   Determine what your focus actually is.
   
   Maybe sit down with a piece of paper and pen (the tactile involvement helps) and write it out.
   
   Try out 'mind mapping'.
   
   Some things to help you determine your focus include:
   Asking yourself what your major concern in your life is right now.
   
   Looking at your life and figuring out what isn't going right.
   
   Thinking about what is making you unhappy at the moment.
2. 2

   Step 2: Alternatively

   What is going 'right'? What makes you happy? , These are the types of questions with no real answers, that place you as a victim.
   
   While you may be a victim of a particular situation or circumstances beyond your control, it isn't helping anything looking at things in a way that prevents you from rearranging the challenges and choosing to changing your life's path.
   
   Whatever the truth may be, there is nothing to be gained by dwelling on it.
   
   Some examples of questions that tend to disempower and keep you stuck include:
   Why me? Why can't I catch a break? It's all the government or my neighbor's or my family's fault. , Ask yourself what is good about what is happening.
   
   For example:
   What can I do to affect the outcome of events? What is the good that is coming out of this turn of events? How can I take the things that are promising amid the hardship and run with those instead? , Distracting yourself through concentration on an unrelated task or activity will help you with stepping away from the issue at hand.
   
   You might also find another skill you weren't aware of or a skill you hadn't yet improved. , Simplicity can ground you and bring you right back to a sense of who you are and where you're headed.
   
   It will also help to clear what seems complex and put it in a simpler context.
   
   Try this exercise to reach a sense of simplification:
   Look around the room and look for everything red, or round or whatever.
   
   It doesn't really matter.
   
   You are trying to distract your mind and give it something else to focus on.
   
   Do this for a few minutes.
   
   Try to remember all of the brown items or the square ones.
   
   Choose something that you weren't actively looking for.
   
   It would probably help to have someone else set the goal and the alternate goal for you, so you won't subconsciously be distracted.
   
   When this exercise is done as part of a workshop, quite often the reaction of participants is, "that wasn't what you said"
   
   or "that's not fair".
   
   The response to that would be... "And when did life become fair?"
   
   Doing this exercise will help develop skills for your life.
   
   Consider how you can transfer the surprise and changed perspectives you gained from the exercise to everyday, real events in your life.
   
   The important thing is to keep trying to change your focus until this becomes second nature and feels like your first response to difficult happenings in your life.
   
   No matter how small, do something every day that helps you to change your focus.
3. 3

   Step 3: flip this analysis around: What's working for you right now?

4. 4

   Step 4: Avoid asking yourself disempowering questions.

5. 5

   Step 5: Empower yourself with the right questions.

6. 6

   Step 6: Do something else for a while

7. 7

   Step 7: even if you have to force yourself to do it.

8. 8

   Step 8: Try doing something simple.

9. 9

   Step 9: Deal with it.

Detailed Guide

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