How to Live with a College Roommate Who Is Your Total Opposite
Get to know each other., Discuss your expectations., Set up a roommate contract., Create a chart on a whiteboard or chalkboard that lists rules and guidelines., Create designated spaces.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Get to know each other.
If you decide from the very first time you meet that you’re too different to possibly like each other, you will certainly set yourself up for a miserable situation.
You don’t have to be best friends, but getting to know one another will help you at least establish friendly conversations.
Figure out what you have in common.
You might be total opposites on most things, but you will have at least one thing in common.
Find out what it is and embrace it.
Whether it’s a hobby, or a movie, or a shared love of a particular food, try to do it together every now and then.
Accept your roommate as is.
If you are total opposites, it may be difficult to understand where they are coming from in many situations.
If you accept things about their personality, interests, taste, etc. you are much less likely to come into conflict.
Laugh and admit any quirks you have, and learn about your roommate’s. -
Step 2: Discuss your expectations.
Be clear about what what you both expect from each other.
This is the time to discuss your needs and compromise on what you’re willing and not willing to contribute.
Don’t make any assumptions about what is considered a “normal” or correct way to do things.
Discuss your definitions of “clean.” This can go a long way to prevent future arguments and misunderstandings.
You might clean the kitchen, only to discover your roommate upset because you didn’t clean under the stove burners.
Discuss your general outlook on dorm life or apartment living.
If you are expecting a 24 hour party, it may come as a shock to find that your roommate expects peaceful, quiet solitude.
This is something you’ll need to discuss up front.
Be flexible and open to change.
If this is your first experience living with someone else, it may be a culture shock as you adjust to the habits of someone new.
Treat it like an adventure into a new country where everyone speaks a different language and has different customs. , Make a set of rules to address a few core issues that might come up during the coming year.
This will give you a chance to talk, laugh, and discuss all the nit-picky items of sharing a home.
Decide if you will pool resources and share groceries, or if you will have separate food items.
You could shop for groceries together once a week, or take turns replenishing staple items such as milk, bread, and cereal.
If you have a specialty item, write your name on it so your roommate knows not to touch it.
Discuss how you will handle overnight guests.
If you are sharing a dorm room, reate a system to indicate when you need privacy, such as the classic sock on the doorknob, or a symbol written on a whiteboard on the outside of the door.
Establish an agreement on quiet times lights-out times.
If you are early to bed and your roommate likes to stay up late, come to a compromise.
Perhaps agree to an earlier time during the week and a later time during the weekend. , This will ensure that you each know how to be a good roommate, and eliminate any future conflicts regarding the rules.
Make a list of bills and due dates.
Decide who will be responsible for which bills and how each roommate should contribute.
List recurring chores, as well as how often they should be performed and who will do them.
Decide who will wash the dishes and how often, who will clean out the dishwasher, who will take out the garbage, and how often the floors should be cleaned.
Leave a space on the board for notes so that you can let each other know in advance if you’ll be out of town, if you’re expecting guests, or if grocery items are needed. , Decide early on which spaces will be common areas, such as a living room, kitchen, and bathroom, and which spaces will be private.
Agree to protect each other’s privacy; make it a point to ask each other’s permission before entering private spaces or borrowing items.
Discuss rules or guidelines for how any common areas will be used and maintained. -
Step 3: Set up a roommate contract.
-
Step 4: Create a chart on a whiteboard or chalkboard that lists rules and guidelines.
-
Step 5: Create designated spaces.
Detailed Guide
If you decide from the very first time you meet that you’re too different to possibly like each other, you will certainly set yourself up for a miserable situation.
You don’t have to be best friends, but getting to know one another will help you at least establish friendly conversations.
Figure out what you have in common.
You might be total opposites on most things, but you will have at least one thing in common.
Find out what it is and embrace it.
Whether it’s a hobby, or a movie, or a shared love of a particular food, try to do it together every now and then.
Accept your roommate as is.
If you are total opposites, it may be difficult to understand where they are coming from in many situations.
If you accept things about their personality, interests, taste, etc. you are much less likely to come into conflict.
Laugh and admit any quirks you have, and learn about your roommate’s.
Be clear about what what you both expect from each other.
This is the time to discuss your needs and compromise on what you’re willing and not willing to contribute.
Don’t make any assumptions about what is considered a “normal” or correct way to do things.
Discuss your definitions of “clean.” This can go a long way to prevent future arguments and misunderstandings.
You might clean the kitchen, only to discover your roommate upset because you didn’t clean under the stove burners.
Discuss your general outlook on dorm life or apartment living.
If you are expecting a 24 hour party, it may come as a shock to find that your roommate expects peaceful, quiet solitude.
This is something you’ll need to discuss up front.
Be flexible and open to change.
If this is your first experience living with someone else, it may be a culture shock as you adjust to the habits of someone new.
Treat it like an adventure into a new country where everyone speaks a different language and has different customs. , Make a set of rules to address a few core issues that might come up during the coming year.
This will give you a chance to talk, laugh, and discuss all the nit-picky items of sharing a home.
Decide if you will pool resources and share groceries, or if you will have separate food items.
You could shop for groceries together once a week, or take turns replenishing staple items such as milk, bread, and cereal.
If you have a specialty item, write your name on it so your roommate knows not to touch it.
Discuss how you will handle overnight guests.
If you are sharing a dorm room, reate a system to indicate when you need privacy, such as the classic sock on the doorknob, or a symbol written on a whiteboard on the outside of the door.
Establish an agreement on quiet times lights-out times.
If you are early to bed and your roommate likes to stay up late, come to a compromise.
Perhaps agree to an earlier time during the week and a later time during the weekend. , This will ensure that you each know how to be a good roommate, and eliminate any future conflicts regarding the rules.
Make a list of bills and due dates.
Decide who will be responsible for which bills and how each roommate should contribute.
List recurring chores, as well as how often they should be performed and who will do them.
Decide who will wash the dishes and how often, who will clean out the dishwasher, who will take out the garbage, and how often the floors should be cleaned.
Leave a space on the board for notes so that you can let each other know in advance if you’ll be out of town, if you’re expecting guests, or if grocery items are needed. , Decide early on which spaces will be common areas, such as a living room, kitchen, and bathroom, and which spaces will be private.
Agree to protect each other’s privacy; make it a point to ask each other’s permission before entering private spaces or borrowing items.
Discuss rules or guidelines for how any common areas will be used and maintained.
About the Author
Judith Mendoza
Creates helpful guides on hobbies to inspire and educate readers.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: