How to Call a Parent to Apologize
Know what you did wrong., Create the right mindset., Decide on what you are going to say., Make sure your apology is sincere and shows your reflection., Figure out if your parent is a night or morning person., Avoid interrupting what the parent is...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Know what you did wrong.
By reflecting on what you did and knowing what specifically you've done wrong, you can show that you are actually sorry.
Sorry means nothing unless you're willing to learn from the situation you're apologizing for. -
Step 2: Create the right mindset.
Let go of past resentments
- forgive or forget.
This is a sign of maturity and distinguishes you from a great individual who is free from negative energy. , Be ready to face any frustration with courage and calmness. , Hearing a non-apology is worse than no apology at all.
A non-apology is an "apology" that sounds as if it is blaming the other person, such as, "I'm sorry you got mad," which places the blame on the other person for getting mad.
Apologize for what you did, and avoid placing the blame on the other person.
It is recommended that you use "I" statements.
For example, say something like, "I was wrong to break the lamp.
I was really angry, but that's no excuse to break something.
I'm really sorry."
Don't call at night if they're a morning person, and don't call in the morning if they always wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
Also avoid calling them during times you know are busy for them. , If you know they're out doing something, like going to the movies or shopping, hold off on calling.
If you don't live with them, it's harder to know, so answer with, "Hi, Mom/Dad, are you busy right now?" If they are, ask when you can call back. , Instead of saying, "Um, I'm sorry 'cause I made you mad, and... um... sorry," say, "I've thought about my actions and I've realized that I was wrong for the way I acted.
I want to apologize.
In the future, I will try my best to keep my feelings and actions under control."
Don't say, "I'm sorry for stealing your bracelet, but this never would've happened if you kept it somewhere else!" If you have to mention something, it's best to keep it about how they can help you deal with whatever problem you had.
Remember to stay tactful. , If you find that you're still angry about what happened, try cooling down some more before you call them.
Try asking if you can calmly and blamelessly discuss the situation after apologizing, so that you both can better deal with similar situations in the future. , It's always nice to remind them that you don't hate them just because of some silly argument or a stupid action of yours.
It also aids with cooling down a situation. , Sorry is meaningless if you're going to keep doing it and don't learn from your actions. , Honestly listen and consider whether what they're saying is true.
If it is, then acknowledge it and keep note of it.
If it isn't, consider calmly explaining your side.
If they're adamant about something that just isn't true, say something like, "I'll be more aware of what I say and do in the future."
If you help them understand what you're thought process was upon an action, they will not only be more likely to forgive you but will understand you more.
Note-justifying an action is entirely different than explaining it. -
Step 3: Decide on what you are going to say.
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Step 4: Make sure your apology is sincere and shows your reflection.
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Step 5: Figure out if your parent is a night or morning person.
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Step 6: Avoid interrupting what the parent is doing.
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Step 7: Plan what you would like to say in your apology and speak clearly.
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Step 8: Avoid turning the table on the other person after apologizing.
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Step 9: Sound courteous and sweet
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Step 10: avoiding defensive
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Step 11: accusatory
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Step 12: or frustrated tones.
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Step 13: Tell them you love them.
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Step 14: Take steps to stop that behavior from happening in the future.
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Step 15: Listen to everything they have to say without getting defensive.
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Step 16: Get your parent to understand your reasoning.
Detailed Guide
By reflecting on what you did and knowing what specifically you've done wrong, you can show that you are actually sorry.
Sorry means nothing unless you're willing to learn from the situation you're apologizing for.
Let go of past resentments
- forgive or forget.
This is a sign of maturity and distinguishes you from a great individual who is free from negative energy. , Be ready to face any frustration with courage and calmness. , Hearing a non-apology is worse than no apology at all.
A non-apology is an "apology" that sounds as if it is blaming the other person, such as, "I'm sorry you got mad," which places the blame on the other person for getting mad.
Apologize for what you did, and avoid placing the blame on the other person.
It is recommended that you use "I" statements.
For example, say something like, "I was wrong to break the lamp.
I was really angry, but that's no excuse to break something.
I'm really sorry."
Don't call at night if they're a morning person, and don't call in the morning if they always wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
Also avoid calling them during times you know are busy for them. , If you know they're out doing something, like going to the movies or shopping, hold off on calling.
If you don't live with them, it's harder to know, so answer with, "Hi, Mom/Dad, are you busy right now?" If they are, ask when you can call back. , Instead of saying, "Um, I'm sorry 'cause I made you mad, and... um... sorry," say, "I've thought about my actions and I've realized that I was wrong for the way I acted.
I want to apologize.
In the future, I will try my best to keep my feelings and actions under control."
Don't say, "I'm sorry for stealing your bracelet, but this never would've happened if you kept it somewhere else!" If you have to mention something, it's best to keep it about how they can help you deal with whatever problem you had.
Remember to stay tactful. , If you find that you're still angry about what happened, try cooling down some more before you call them.
Try asking if you can calmly and blamelessly discuss the situation after apologizing, so that you both can better deal with similar situations in the future. , It's always nice to remind them that you don't hate them just because of some silly argument or a stupid action of yours.
It also aids with cooling down a situation. , Sorry is meaningless if you're going to keep doing it and don't learn from your actions. , Honestly listen and consider whether what they're saying is true.
If it is, then acknowledge it and keep note of it.
If it isn't, consider calmly explaining your side.
If they're adamant about something that just isn't true, say something like, "I'll be more aware of what I say and do in the future."
If you help them understand what you're thought process was upon an action, they will not only be more likely to forgive you but will understand you more.
Note-justifying an action is entirely different than explaining it.
About the Author
Diana Hamilton
Specializes in breaking down complex organization topics into simple steps.
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