How to Come Out As Asexual (for Teenagers)

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Research asexuality.

   You'll want to make sure that you understand your orientation before you are certain, or before you publicly talk about it.
   
   AVEN is an excellent resource for asexuals and people researching asexuality, both in its articles and its forums.
2. 2

   Step 2: Read some basic signs of asexuality.

   Before coming out, you'll want to feel pretty sure about your identity.
   
   Research, and try taking a quiz or two.Here are some general signs of asexuality, and if you're ace, you may have some or all of these traits:
   You don't think much about sex.
   
   You might wonder how sex works, physically speaking it, but don't find it alluring or exciting.
   
   It's scientific curiosity, not romantic or erotic.
   
   Or you wonder why everyone thinks it's such a big deal.
   
   You don't have sexual urges, or have them not directed at anyone.
   
   You don't see the appeal of "sexy" clothes, "sexy" pictures, or pornography.
   
   Arousal annoys you (or never happens).
   
   If you see a picture of a naked person, your thought is "so that's how it looks," not excitement or arousal.
   
   You don't have sex dreams, or you find them uninteresting, or they are fueled by scientific curiosity.
   
   You don't like sex, find it disappointing or don't enjoy it as much.
   
   Perhaps you'll have it, but never initiate it.
   
   Conversations or book/movie scenes about sex bore you or seem out of place. , People may experience first crushes in elementary or middle school, and typically recognize their orientation by their preteen years.If you are in your mid teens and still have no sexual attraction, it is unlikely that you are a "late bloomer," and likely that you are asexual.
   
   Try reading expert articles on childhood sexual development.If you skipped some of the steps, or still never experienced some of the steps, you may be asexual. (Keep in mind that if you have a developmental disability, you may develop at a different pace, without necessarily being asexual.) , Most people don't understand asexuality.
   
   Here are some misconceptions, and how to respond.Teenagers are too young to know.
   
   Straight teenagers aren't told they're too young for dating.
   
   And most people figure these things out around ages 9-12.
   
   You should try it first.
   
   You don't have to try something to know it's unappealing.
   
   You haven't tried eating garbage either, but you know you wouldn't like it.
   
   Humans can't reproduce asexually.
   
   The asexual identity is separate from animals that reproduce asexually (i.e., by cloning themselves). "Asexual" is a word with two meanings, like the word "straight," which is both an identity and an adjective meaning "not curved."
   
   Asexuality can be hard for non-asexual people to imagine, so sometimes an analogy can make it easier. "Let's use a caffeine analogy.
   
   Let's say that men are like coffee, women are like tea, and nonbinary people are like other caffeinated drinks.
   
   I don't find any of the above interesting." "For me, sex is like anchovies.
   
   Other people can have as much as they want, but I personally think it's gross, and don't want any."
   
   Your feelings about sex and your feelings about romance are two different things.
   
   Most (but not all) asexual people still want to date, cuddle, hold hands, and maybe even kiss.
   
   You may be...
   
   Aromantic—not experiencing romantic attraction Panromantic—attracted to people regardless of gender Homoromantic—attracted to the same gender Heteroromantic—attracted to different genders You'd put the terms together, such as "panromantic asexual," to describe yourself.
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   Step 3: Consider your age.

4. 4

   Step 4: Prepare yourself for common misconceptions.

5. 5

   Step 5: Consider preparing an explanation or analogy to describe what asexuality means to you.

6. 6

   Step 6: Figure out your romantic orientation.

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