How to Console Your Kids After They Get Embarrassed
Empathize with their feelings., Ask them questions about their experience., Put the embarrassment in perspective for them., Share your own embarrassing story., Work together on a solution.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Empathize with their feelings.
Take your kids’ embarrassment seriously and do not dismiss their feelings or downplay them.
You do not need to overreact or freak out when your kids talk about being embarrassed.
But you should not downplay it or brush it aside either.
Show empathy for what they are going through.
Listen to them describe their embarrassment and encourage them to express how they are feeling.Show empathy by making eye contact when your child speaks with you.
Sit down with them, put away other distractions, and let them know that you are taking their concern seriously.
Once they have discussed their embarrassment, respond to them by saying, “Oh gosh, that must have been hard” or “It’s unfortunate that you had to experience that.” -
Step 2: Ask them questions about their experience.
To console your kids, ask them thoughtful questions about their experience.
Get them to express how the experience made them feel and why they might have felt embarrassed.
Doing this will show them you care about how they are feeling and want to support them.For example, you may ask your kids, “Why do you think you were embarrassed in that situation?” or “How did the situation make you feel?” , Your kids may feel the embarrassing moment was their worst moment up to that point.
This is natural, especially if they haven’t felt embarrassed much before.
Allow your child all the time they need to air their concerns.
Then, try to put the embarrassment in perspective for your kids so they do not feel they will never recover from their embarrassment.For example, if your kids are embarrassed about falling down in gym class, you may ask, “Did any other kids fall down? How do you think they felt?” You can also remind your kids that many people get embarrassed, even you.
Tell them, “Being embarrassed is nothing to be ashamed of.
Everyone gets embarrassed but the important thing is how you recover.” , One way you can make your kids feel better is to share your own embarrassing experiences.
Let them know that you were afraid you wouldn't recover, then talk to them about how the embarrassment helped you grow in a meaningful way.
This will help them feel less alone and make them feel more at ease with getting embarrassed.For example, you may tell your child, “I have embarrassing experiences too.
I experience embarrassment as an adult and I got embarrassed when I was a kid.
You are not alone in feeling this way.” , Your kids may feel so embarrassed that they do not want to go to school the following day or return to the place where they felt embarrassed.
Discuss different ways your kids can feel more comfortable and avoid embarrassment in the future.
Work together to come up with a solution so they feel safe and more confident moving forward.For example, your child may not want to return to school because they are afraid everyone will laugh at them.
You may say, “I understand why you might be afraid.
Not going back to school is not a possible solution.
Let’s work together to find a solution that will make you feel more comfortable at school.” You may then brainstorm possible options for your child, such as telling their teacher if they get laughed at or made fun of at school.
You can also tell your child to explain to the person who is embarrassing them that they feel uncomfortable and want them to stop doing this. -
Step 3: Put the embarrassment in perspective for them.
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Step 4: Share your own embarrassing story.
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Step 5: Work together on a solution.
Detailed Guide
Take your kids’ embarrassment seriously and do not dismiss their feelings or downplay them.
You do not need to overreact or freak out when your kids talk about being embarrassed.
But you should not downplay it or brush it aside either.
Show empathy for what they are going through.
Listen to them describe their embarrassment and encourage them to express how they are feeling.Show empathy by making eye contact when your child speaks with you.
Sit down with them, put away other distractions, and let them know that you are taking their concern seriously.
Once they have discussed their embarrassment, respond to them by saying, “Oh gosh, that must have been hard” or “It’s unfortunate that you had to experience that.”
To console your kids, ask them thoughtful questions about their experience.
Get them to express how the experience made them feel and why they might have felt embarrassed.
Doing this will show them you care about how they are feeling and want to support them.For example, you may ask your kids, “Why do you think you were embarrassed in that situation?” or “How did the situation make you feel?” , Your kids may feel the embarrassing moment was their worst moment up to that point.
This is natural, especially if they haven’t felt embarrassed much before.
Allow your child all the time they need to air their concerns.
Then, try to put the embarrassment in perspective for your kids so they do not feel they will never recover from their embarrassment.For example, if your kids are embarrassed about falling down in gym class, you may ask, “Did any other kids fall down? How do you think they felt?” You can also remind your kids that many people get embarrassed, even you.
Tell them, “Being embarrassed is nothing to be ashamed of.
Everyone gets embarrassed but the important thing is how you recover.” , One way you can make your kids feel better is to share your own embarrassing experiences.
Let them know that you were afraid you wouldn't recover, then talk to them about how the embarrassment helped you grow in a meaningful way.
This will help them feel less alone and make them feel more at ease with getting embarrassed.For example, you may tell your child, “I have embarrassing experiences too.
I experience embarrassment as an adult and I got embarrassed when I was a kid.
You are not alone in feeling this way.” , Your kids may feel so embarrassed that they do not want to go to school the following day or return to the place where they felt embarrassed.
Discuss different ways your kids can feel more comfortable and avoid embarrassment in the future.
Work together to come up with a solution so they feel safe and more confident moving forward.For example, your child may not want to return to school because they are afraid everyone will laugh at them.
You may say, “I understand why you might be afraid.
Not going back to school is not a possible solution.
Let’s work together to find a solution that will make you feel more comfortable at school.” You may then brainstorm possible options for your child, such as telling their teacher if they get laughed at or made fun of at school.
You can also tell your child to explain to the person who is embarrassing them that they feel uncomfortable and want them to stop doing this.
About the Author
Shirley Sullivan
Experienced content creator specializing in lifestyle guides and tutorials.
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