How to Deal with a Child Not Wanting to Go to School
Track how often they resist school., Assess how strongly they resist., Evaluate how it impacts their life., Identify normal avoidance., Recognize school refusal.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Track how often they resist school.
There are some times that it’s common for students not to want to go to school.
They may feel that something happening outside of school is more appealing.
Or, they may have a specific, but temporary, reason for not wanting to go.
In other situations, it seems that there’s no specific reason the child doesn't want to go to school.
This can help you determine whether the child is avoiding school like all children do every now and then or if they are showing signs of school refusal.For example, think about whether they are resisting school immediately before or after a school break.
They may simply be either eager for the break to start or reluctant for it to end.
If you're their parent, you can contact their teacher in order to determine if they're resisting school because they have upcoming tests or projects are due.
Try to find out if the child recently had an argument with a friend or partner.
Children, especially adolescents, may resist school for a short time in situations like that.
Ask yourself if they resist going to school all of the time.
For example, does it seem that the child resists going to school every day regardless of what’s going on? -
Step 2: Assess how strongly they resist.
Some children throw a tantrum every morning while getting ready for school, but they get ready, and they do go.
On the other hand, some children fight tooth and nail all the way to their desk and may even attempt to leave school early.
At the extreme, some children even threaten self-harm.
Determining how strongly the child resists can help you determine whether this is normal avoidance or school refusal.Try rating the child’s resistance on a scale of 1 – 5, with 1 being them just saying they don't want to go and 5 being a full out tantrum.
Think about the extremity of the things they say.
For instance, are they just saying they don't want to go to school or are they threatening extreme action if you make them go? , This can help you determine how serious the situation is, as well as how you should handle it.
Even though some kids may quietly refuse to go to school, their refusal may be unwavering to the point that they are continually tardy or absent.
Other children may resist but still go to school and have little affect on their life.Look at whether the child is frequently missing school or late to school.
This is a definite sign that there's a problem.
Review the child’s grades.
Continual tardiness and absences, as well as not participating when they are there, cause the child to suffer academically.
Ask yourself if the child is doing things that threaten their health or safety in order to avoid school.
For example, have they made themselves vomit or caused themselves other harm in order to stay home? , Every now and then every child resists going to school.
This can be frustrating when it happens, but it’s normal.
Understanding whether you're dealing with normal avoidance or school refusal will help you determine the best course of action for addressing the situation.
Consider the frequency, intensity, and impact of their resistance in order to identify normal avoidance.
Normal avoidance causes little to no impact on the child’s life.
For example, look for signs that they're maintaining their grades and getting to school on time.
When kids are normally resisting school they may pout, cry, verbally refuse, or even throw a tantrum, but, in the end, they still get ready, make it to school, and often end up having a good day.
Remember that resisting school every day can still be considered normal if the child regularly goes to school on time, stays the whole day, and is generally behaving as they typically do at home.
They just might not be a morning person. , This is a much more persistent and serious problem than normal school avoidance.
When you consider when, how often, and how strong they resist going to school, along with how it impacts their life you’ll have an idea of whether you’re dealing with school refusal or not.
You can then decide how best to address it.
Understand that children showing school refusal resist school almost every day and can go to extreme measures in their attempt to stay home.
You can recognize school refusal by the negative impact it has on the child’s life.
For example, truancy, frequent tardiness and early dismissals, falling grades, or behavior problems in school. -
Step 3: Evaluate how it impacts their life.
-
Step 4: Identify normal avoidance.
-
Step 5: Recognize school refusal.
Detailed Guide
There are some times that it’s common for students not to want to go to school.
They may feel that something happening outside of school is more appealing.
Or, they may have a specific, but temporary, reason for not wanting to go.
In other situations, it seems that there’s no specific reason the child doesn't want to go to school.
This can help you determine whether the child is avoiding school like all children do every now and then or if they are showing signs of school refusal.For example, think about whether they are resisting school immediately before or after a school break.
They may simply be either eager for the break to start or reluctant for it to end.
If you're their parent, you can contact their teacher in order to determine if they're resisting school because they have upcoming tests or projects are due.
Try to find out if the child recently had an argument with a friend or partner.
Children, especially adolescents, may resist school for a short time in situations like that.
Ask yourself if they resist going to school all of the time.
For example, does it seem that the child resists going to school every day regardless of what’s going on?
Some children throw a tantrum every morning while getting ready for school, but they get ready, and they do go.
On the other hand, some children fight tooth and nail all the way to their desk and may even attempt to leave school early.
At the extreme, some children even threaten self-harm.
Determining how strongly the child resists can help you determine whether this is normal avoidance or school refusal.Try rating the child’s resistance on a scale of 1 – 5, with 1 being them just saying they don't want to go and 5 being a full out tantrum.
Think about the extremity of the things they say.
For instance, are they just saying they don't want to go to school or are they threatening extreme action if you make them go? , This can help you determine how serious the situation is, as well as how you should handle it.
Even though some kids may quietly refuse to go to school, their refusal may be unwavering to the point that they are continually tardy or absent.
Other children may resist but still go to school and have little affect on their life.Look at whether the child is frequently missing school or late to school.
This is a definite sign that there's a problem.
Review the child’s grades.
Continual tardiness and absences, as well as not participating when they are there, cause the child to suffer academically.
Ask yourself if the child is doing things that threaten their health or safety in order to avoid school.
For example, have they made themselves vomit or caused themselves other harm in order to stay home? , Every now and then every child resists going to school.
This can be frustrating when it happens, but it’s normal.
Understanding whether you're dealing with normal avoidance or school refusal will help you determine the best course of action for addressing the situation.
Consider the frequency, intensity, and impact of their resistance in order to identify normal avoidance.
Normal avoidance causes little to no impact on the child’s life.
For example, look for signs that they're maintaining their grades and getting to school on time.
When kids are normally resisting school they may pout, cry, verbally refuse, or even throw a tantrum, but, in the end, they still get ready, make it to school, and often end up having a good day.
Remember that resisting school every day can still be considered normal if the child regularly goes to school on time, stays the whole day, and is generally behaving as they typically do at home.
They just might not be a morning person. , This is a much more persistent and serious problem than normal school avoidance.
When you consider when, how often, and how strong they resist going to school, along with how it impacts their life you’ll have an idea of whether you’re dealing with school refusal or not.
You can then decide how best to address it.
Understand that children showing school refusal resist school almost every day and can go to extreme measures in their attempt to stay home.
You can recognize school refusal by the negative impact it has on the child’s life.
For example, truancy, frequent tardiness and early dismissals, falling grades, or behavior problems in school.
About the Author
Katherine Ward
Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.
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