How to Deal With a Genuinely Stupid, Mean Mother As a Teen
Feel., Step Away., Comply., Seek support and guidance from adults who aren't like her., Learn how to become assertive rather than passive, passive-aggressive or aggressive in dealing with people., Watch for projection.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Step Away.
Yes, you wish your mother was sweet, gentle, understanding, kind. but no matter what don't be disrespectful,Just don't verbalize your feelings in front of her.
It'll only make things worse for you.
There's a very good chance your mother knows she's not very smart, and that makes her behave in mean ways.
Reminding her of her shortcomings will not make life easier for you. -
Step 2: Comply.
After you've given yourself the permission to cry, yell scream, etc., step away from your emotions.
One of the more constructive ways to deal with your mother is with emotional detachment.
No anger, whining, crying, begging, yelling, belittling.... just facts.
If she intentionally does things to hurt you or make you angry, your best defense/offense is not letting yourself feel hurt or angry. , Insofar as possible, do what she wants you to do before she asks.
This gives her one less thing to be mean about and gives you the upper hand when you ask for what you want. , Pay close attention to the ideas of friends' mothers who are more gentle, consistent and responsible.
Get outside information.
Much of what you're being told every day is sabotaging and may be wrong.
Instead of just getting mad at her for steering you wrong, seek sources of better information and remember what they say.
Question anything she says about you or about life and compare it with what ministers, therapists, teachers, healthier adults say.
Examine everything in your life because these things don't blow up out of nowhere.
They get passed on by generations and you don't want to continue the cycle. , This can be studied, even in books it can help to understand the family dynamic and choose your own path in life.
It may make her even angrier if you don't respond to the usual mind games in the usual way, but it's important to build some inner resistance to protect your mind and soul. , Don't be surprised if you get accused of things you wouldn't even think of doing
- if she does them, she expects you to do them whether you would or not.
Cruel mothers don't always have that good a grip on reality and can't tell the difference between when you're behaving well or not.
The best thing to do is behave well anyway and try to spend more time with other people so they can see the situation for themselves. -
Step 3: Seek support and guidance from adults who aren't like her.
-
Step 4: Learn how to become assertive rather than passive
-
Step 5: passive-aggressive or aggressive in dealing with people.
-
Step 6: Watch for projection.
Detailed Guide
Yes, you wish your mother was sweet, gentle, understanding, kind. but no matter what don't be disrespectful,Just don't verbalize your feelings in front of her.
It'll only make things worse for you.
There's a very good chance your mother knows she's not very smart, and that makes her behave in mean ways.
Reminding her of her shortcomings will not make life easier for you.
After you've given yourself the permission to cry, yell scream, etc., step away from your emotions.
One of the more constructive ways to deal with your mother is with emotional detachment.
No anger, whining, crying, begging, yelling, belittling.... just facts.
If she intentionally does things to hurt you or make you angry, your best defense/offense is not letting yourself feel hurt or angry. , Insofar as possible, do what she wants you to do before she asks.
This gives her one less thing to be mean about and gives you the upper hand when you ask for what you want. , Pay close attention to the ideas of friends' mothers who are more gentle, consistent and responsible.
Get outside information.
Much of what you're being told every day is sabotaging and may be wrong.
Instead of just getting mad at her for steering you wrong, seek sources of better information and remember what they say.
Question anything she says about you or about life and compare it with what ministers, therapists, teachers, healthier adults say.
Examine everything in your life because these things don't blow up out of nowhere.
They get passed on by generations and you don't want to continue the cycle. , This can be studied, even in books it can help to understand the family dynamic and choose your own path in life.
It may make her even angrier if you don't respond to the usual mind games in the usual way, but it's important to build some inner resistance to protect your mind and soul. , Don't be surprised if you get accused of things you wouldn't even think of doing
- if she does them, she expects you to do them whether you would or not.
Cruel mothers don't always have that good a grip on reality and can't tell the difference between when you're behaving well or not.
The best thing to do is behave well anyway and try to spend more time with other people so they can see the situation for themselves.
About the Author
Timothy Hernandez
Timothy Hernandez specializes in non profit and has been creating helpful content for over 3 years. Timothy is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.
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