How to Deal With a Lying Child
Recognize why younger children lie., Accept that lying is a modifiable behavior., Praise truth-telling., Point out the differences between "play-time" and "real life"., Teach the importance of honesty through stories.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Recognize why younger children lie.
In early childhood development, children have not been impacted and guided by the social mores of right and wrong, good and bad.
A fibbing child at this age is doing so to either appease an adult, exaggerate a story to impress someone, or because they have forgotten something.
The child may not even be aware that he has done anything wrong., Catching your child in a lie does not mean he is bound to be a sociopath.
Lying is just one of many ways children explore the world and the reactions/expectations of others.
Lying is learned through trial and error.For example, Matty told a lie that kept him from getting into trouble, so he learns that lying could protect him.
His not getting into trouble reinforced the likelihood that he will get into trouble.
However, anything learned can also be unlearned.
Lying is no different.
Reinforcement goes both ways.
Matty's lying was reinforced because he avoided trouble.
On the contrary, a child telling the truth but still getting into trouble can actually be reinforced to lie in the future. , How you respond to lying in the moment often determines whether your child will keep up the behavior.
While you shouldn't overlook episodes of lying, try to avoid demonstrating anger or frustration with your young child.
Doing so may inadvertently cause the behavior to continue.
Instead, focus more on situations when you notice your child being truthful.
Highlight the positives associated with being honest and congratulate your child on her honesty.Use words like "awesome"
"excellent"
or "great job" when praising your child for telling the truth.
Always be clear about what you are praising your child for so that she knows which behaviors result in positive consequences. , In some situations, your toddler or younger child may lie as an extension of their make-believe worlds.
Children play all sorts of games, read stories, and watch TV shows that portray outstanding and remarkable circumstances.
Being immersed in this make-believe world can cause your child to have a blurred understanding of reality.
Talk to your child about the differences between made-up stories and the truth.
Clearly identify times when it is okay for your child to engage in imaginative storytelling and times when he or she must not.
Be careful not to diminish the significance of imaginative play, as it is essential for creative and cognitive development., Use stories as a way to reinforce the benefits of being truthful.
Most children's stories have a moral that can be discussed.
Use your child's reading time to outline the significance of telling the truth by pointing out the consequences in different characters' lives for either lying or being honest and doing the right thing. -
Step 2: Accept that lying is a modifiable behavior.
-
Step 3: Praise truth-telling.
-
Step 4: Point out the differences between "play-time" and "real life".
-
Step 5: Teach the importance of honesty through stories.
Detailed Guide
In early childhood development, children have not been impacted and guided by the social mores of right and wrong, good and bad.
A fibbing child at this age is doing so to either appease an adult, exaggerate a story to impress someone, or because they have forgotten something.
The child may not even be aware that he has done anything wrong., Catching your child in a lie does not mean he is bound to be a sociopath.
Lying is just one of many ways children explore the world and the reactions/expectations of others.
Lying is learned through trial and error.For example, Matty told a lie that kept him from getting into trouble, so he learns that lying could protect him.
His not getting into trouble reinforced the likelihood that he will get into trouble.
However, anything learned can also be unlearned.
Lying is no different.
Reinforcement goes both ways.
Matty's lying was reinforced because he avoided trouble.
On the contrary, a child telling the truth but still getting into trouble can actually be reinforced to lie in the future. , How you respond to lying in the moment often determines whether your child will keep up the behavior.
While you shouldn't overlook episodes of lying, try to avoid demonstrating anger or frustration with your young child.
Doing so may inadvertently cause the behavior to continue.
Instead, focus more on situations when you notice your child being truthful.
Highlight the positives associated with being honest and congratulate your child on her honesty.Use words like "awesome"
"excellent"
or "great job" when praising your child for telling the truth.
Always be clear about what you are praising your child for so that she knows which behaviors result in positive consequences. , In some situations, your toddler or younger child may lie as an extension of their make-believe worlds.
Children play all sorts of games, read stories, and watch TV shows that portray outstanding and remarkable circumstances.
Being immersed in this make-believe world can cause your child to have a blurred understanding of reality.
Talk to your child about the differences between made-up stories and the truth.
Clearly identify times when it is okay for your child to engage in imaginative storytelling and times when he or she must not.
Be careful not to diminish the significance of imaginative play, as it is essential for creative and cognitive development., Use stories as a way to reinforce the benefits of being truthful.
Most children's stories have a moral that can be discussed.
Use your child's reading time to outline the significance of telling the truth by pointing out the consequences in different characters' lives for either lying or being honest and doing the right thing.
About the Author
Andrea Taylor
Writer and educator with a focus on practical creative arts knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: