How to Deal With an Adult's Temper Tantrum
Remain calm., Realize that you can’t control someone else., Ask what is upsetting the person., Validate the person’s emotions.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Remain calm.
If you become angry or defensive yourself, you will likely exacerbate the tantrum that the other person is having.
If you can keep yourself calm and rational, it’s likely that you will be able to diffuse the temper of the other person. -
Step 2: Realize that you can’t control someone else.
One of the most difficult parts of dealing with the emotions of another person—particularly someone who is a close friend or family member—is accepting that you cannot change the thoughts or actions of another person.
You can offer help and support, but you cannot actually control another person. , Adults who are prone to temper tantrums are unlikely to be effective communicators.
You may have to ask the person what is causing them to be so upset.
Be calm and give them time to fully explain themselves.
Remember to be patient and persistent.
You could say, “I know you said that there is nothing wrong, but I can tell by the way you’re acting that you are really upset.
Please talk to me about why you are upset so that I can help you if I am able to.
If you aren’t ready to talk about it now, please remember that I am here when you are ready.” , It is important to express to the person having the tantrum that it is okay for them to feel the emotions that they are feeling.
Even if you do not agree with the way they are expressing their feelings (in a tantrum), you can tell them that what they are feeling is okay.
Accepting feelings (such as anger) as a normal part of life can often help people deal with the emotions in a healthier way.
For example, you might say, “It seems to me that you are feeling angry or hurt because of the situation.
It’s perfectly normal to feel that way; can we talk about how you feel and how we can make you feel better?” -
Step 3: Ask what is upsetting the person.
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Step 4: Validate the person’s emotions.
Detailed Guide
If you become angry or defensive yourself, you will likely exacerbate the tantrum that the other person is having.
If you can keep yourself calm and rational, it’s likely that you will be able to diffuse the temper of the other person.
One of the most difficult parts of dealing with the emotions of another person—particularly someone who is a close friend or family member—is accepting that you cannot change the thoughts or actions of another person.
You can offer help and support, but you cannot actually control another person. , Adults who are prone to temper tantrums are unlikely to be effective communicators.
You may have to ask the person what is causing them to be so upset.
Be calm and give them time to fully explain themselves.
Remember to be patient and persistent.
You could say, “I know you said that there is nothing wrong, but I can tell by the way you’re acting that you are really upset.
Please talk to me about why you are upset so that I can help you if I am able to.
If you aren’t ready to talk about it now, please remember that I am here when you are ready.” , It is important to express to the person having the tantrum that it is okay for them to feel the emotions that they are feeling.
Even if you do not agree with the way they are expressing their feelings (in a tantrum), you can tell them that what they are feeling is okay.
Accepting feelings (such as anger) as a normal part of life can often help people deal with the emotions in a healthier way.
For example, you might say, “It seems to me that you are feeling angry or hurt because of the situation.
It’s perfectly normal to feel that way; can we talk about how you feel and how we can make you feel better?”
About the Author
Cheryl Walker
Writer and educator with a focus on practical DIY projects knowledge.
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