How to Deal With an Emotionally Distant Parent

Don't blame yourself., Recognize your beliefs are not reality., Create your own connections with others., Practice basic self care.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Don't blame yourself.

    It is not your fault that your parent is emotionally unavailable.

    Emotionally distant parents are dealing with their own issues and unable to provide their children emotional support.

    When you feel frustrated or guilty, remind yourself you're not to blame for your parents' distance.Instead of ignoring negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones.

    If you have a thought like "It's my fault my parent is acting this way," acknowledge that emotion.

    Then, replace it with something positive, like, "I'm trying my best with a difficult relationship and I deserve credit."
  2. Step 2: Recognize your beliefs are not reality.

    An emotionally unavailable parent can affect how you feel about yourself and the world.

    If you're struggling with negative emotions, remind yourself that there is a difference between belief and reality.

    Emotions are powerful, but they are not objective facts.Many people with emotionally distant parents feel they don't deserve love.

    If you feel this way, remind yourself that you believe this due to your relationship with your parents.

    It's not a reflection of reality.

    Imagine someone else is experiencing your feelings.

    If a loved one told you they didn't deserve love, you would likely reassure them that is not true.

    Give yourself the same level of support. , If you can't get emotional support from your parents, seek it from others.

    A strained relationship with your parents can cause feelings of insecurity.

    To make yourself feel more secure and supported, work on building and maintaining your existing friendships.Seek out new friendships by joining a club, getting involved in a charity, or finding other ways to branch out and meet people.

    Remember, there are many different types of relationships that can be fulfilling.

    While it can sting to have a strained relationship with your parents, you likely have many other people in your life who love and support you. , It's hard to control your emotions if you're not doing basic things, like eating right and getting enough sleep.

    During times when your relationship with your parents feels particularly strained, make sure you're keeping up with the basics of self care.During rough patches with your parents, be extra aware of your daily schedule.

    Ask yourself whether you're eating enough, sleeping enough, and giving yourself enough down time.

    If you find you've been neglecting self care, make a conscious effort to take better care of yourself.

    Remember, you deserve to be cared for, even if your relationship with your parents makes you feel otherwise.
  3. Step 3: Create your own connections with others.

  4. Step 4: Practice basic self care.

Detailed Guide

It is not your fault that your parent is emotionally unavailable.

Emotionally distant parents are dealing with their own issues and unable to provide their children emotional support.

When you feel frustrated or guilty, remind yourself you're not to blame for your parents' distance.Instead of ignoring negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones.

If you have a thought like "It's my fault my parent is acting this way," acknowledge that emotion.

Then, replace it with something positive, like, "I'm trying my best with a difficult relationship and I deserve credit."

An emotionally unavailable parent can affect how you feel about yourself and the world.

If you're struggling with negative emotions, remind yourself that there is a difference between belief and reality.

Emotions are powerful, but they are not objective facts.Many people with emotionally distant parents feel they don't deserve love.

If you feel this way, remind yourself that you believe this due to your relationship with your parents.

It's not a reflection of reality.

Imagine someone else is experiencing your feelings.

If a loved one told you they didn't deserve love, you would likely reassure them that is not true.

Give yourself the same level of support. , If you can't get emotional support from your parents, seek it from others.

A strained relationship with your parents can cause feelings of insecurity.

To make yourself feel more secure and supported, work on building and maintaining your existing friendships.Seek out new friendships by joining a club, getting involved in a charity, or finding other ways to branch out and meet people.

Remember, there are many different types of relationships that can be fulfilling.

While it can sting to have a strained relationship with your parents, you likely have many other people in your life who love and support you. , It's hard to control your emotions if you're not doing basic things, like eating right and getting enough sleep.

During times when your relationship with your parents feels particularly strained, make sure you're keeping up with the basics of self care.During rough patches with your parents, be extra aware of your daily schedule.

Ask yourself whether you're eating enough, sleeping enough, and giving yourself enough down time.

If you find you've been neglecting self care, make a conscious effort to take better care of yourself.

Remember, you deserve to be cared for, even if your relationship with your parents makes you feel otherwise.

About the Author

C

Charles Mitchell

Creates helpful guides on lifestyle to inspire and educate readers.

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