How to Deal With Difficult Teenagers

Spend quality time together., Use social networking., Express your love., Ask questions and be interested., Permit space., Reduce family conflict.

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Spend quality time together.

    Connection between the teenager and parent or guardian is a strong protective factor against harm such as emotional distress, risky sexual behaviors, and substance use.Schedule regular family activities like eating dinner together or having game nights.

    Spend face-to-face time on a weekly basis.

    Take your teen out to lunch or dinner without the rest of the family.

    This way you can focus solely on your connection instead of being distracted by others.

    Try spending quality time with the adolescent doing activities that he enjoys.

    Ask him what he likes to do, or offer suggestions such as: playing video games, shopping, skateboarding, biking, camping, playing board games, or hiking.
  2. Step 2: Use social networking.

    Using social media as a way to foster parent-child interaction has been shown to increase connection and pro-social behaviors, while reducing acts of aggression.If you don’t have a Facebook account (or Instagram, etc.),sign up and add the teenager as a friend.

    You can monitor his actions on the various sites, as well as leave messages, and post photos.

    Try to avoid embarrassing your adolescent.

    Teenagers can be sensitive to how others see them, especially their peers. , A teenager who feels wanted and loved by his parents is more protected against developing negative influences and behaviors.Focus on ways you can show the teenager that he is worthy, accepted, loved, and cared about.

    Physical contact such as hugs can go a long way in expressing affecting for your teen.

    However, if these acts of affection are uncomfortable, you can try other techniques such as touching his shoulders, or playing sports with him.

    Say, “I love you,” and praise your teenager for what he is doing well.

    Identify and comment on his positive characteristics.

    Say things like, “I like how honest you are about your feelings.” Give your child your attention.

    Be supportive by telling your teen that you will always be there for him.

    You could say something like, "I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything and I will listen and try to help." Provide support and guidance when he appears to need it.

    Give gifts or surprise your teen with his favorite meal. , Studies propose that parents who are informed and knowledgeable about their child’s life are more likely to have well adjusted teenagers.Ask open-ended questions like, "What is going well in school lately?" or, "What are your goals right now?" Avoid closed-ended questions that require one word answers such as, "Was school okay today?" or, "Is everything alright?" Your teenager may take this opportunity to simply say, "yeah," and not elaborate.

    This closes off the conversation and enhances distance.

    Listen rather than lecture.

    Focus on trying to understand your child's perspective instead of correcting him or offering advice.

    Attempts to monitor your teen by spying or using surveillance techniques (tracking phone logs, etc.) may do more harm than good.Avoid these types of behaviors. , Ironically, giving the teenager space can actually increase closeness and positivity within the relationship.

    Research shows that adolescents need a sense of autonomy or a sense that they have choices.Try not to pry if your teenager does not want to discuss something.

    Give him time to process the situation and let him come to you once he is ready. , Marital conflict that is experienced or witnessed by an adolescent can lead to behavior problems, symptoms of depression, and decreased family connection.Do not fight or argue in front of your children.

    When discussing family issues, be calm and avoid raising your voice out of anger.
  3. Step 3: Express your love.

  4. Step 4: Ask questions and be interested.

  5. Step 5: Permit space.

  6. Step 6: Reduce family conflict.

Detailed Guide

Connection between the teenager and parent or guardian is a strong protective factor against harm such as emotional distress, risky sexual behaviors, and substance use.Schedule regular family activities like eating dinner together or having game nights.

Spend face-to-face time on a weekly basis.

Take your teen out to lunch or dinner without the rest of the family.

This way you can focus solely on your connection instead of being distracted by others.

Try spending quality time with the adolescent doing activities that he enjoys.

Ask him what he likes to do, or offer suggestions such as: playing video games, shopping, skateboarding, biking, camping, playing board games, or hiking.

Using social media as a way to foster parent-child interaction has been shown to increase connection and pro-social behaviors, while reducing acts of aggression.If you don’t have a Facebook account (or Instagram, etc.),sign up and add the teenager as a friend.

You can monitor his actions on the various sites, as well as leave messages, and post photos.

Try to avoid embarrassing your adolescent.

Teenagers can be sensitive to how others see them, especially their peers. , A teenager who feels wanted and loved by his parents is more protected against developing negative influences and behaviors.Focus on ways you can show the teenager that he is worthy, accepted, loved, and cared about.

Physical contact such as hugs can go a long way in expressing affecting for your teen.

However, if these acts of affection are uncomfortable, you can try other techniques such as touching his shoulders, or playing sports with him.

Say, “I love you,” and praise your teenager for what he is doing well.

Identify and comment on his positive characteristics.

Say things like, “I like how honest you are about your feelings.” Give your child your attention.

Be supportive by telling your teen that you will always be there for him.

You could say something like, "I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything and I will listen and try to help." Provide support and guidance when he appears to need it.

Give gifts or surprise your teen with his favorite meal. , Studies propose that parents who are informed and knowledgeable about their child’s life are more likely to have well adjusted teenagers.Ask open-ended questions like, "What is going well in school lately?" or, "What are your goals right now?" Avoid closed-ended questions that require one word answers such as, "Was school okay today?" or, "Is everything alright?" Your teenager may take this opportunity to simply say, "yeah," and not elaborate.

This closes off the conversation and enhances distance.

Listen rather than lecture.

Focus on trying to understand your child's perspective instead of correcting him or offering advice.

Attempts to monitor your teen by spying or using surveillance techniques (tracking phone logs, etc.) may do more harm than good.Avoid these types of behaviors. , Ironically, giving the teenager space can actually increase closeness and positivity within the relationship.

Research shows that adolescents need a sense of autonomy or a sense that they have choices.Try not to pry if your teenager does not want to discuss something.

Give him time to process the situation and let him come to you once he is ready. , Marital conflict that is experienced or witnessed by an adolescent can lead to behavior problems, symptoms of depression, and decreased family connection.Do not fight or argue in front of your children.

When discussing family issues, be calm and avoid raising your voice out of anger.

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Frances Parker

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