How to Deal With Your Child Being Expelled From School
Remain calm., Get all of the information., Consider at-home consequences., Know your child’s rights., Talk to a lawyer., Attend the expulsion hearing., Decide if you are going to appeal the decision., Explore your next steps for education., Follow...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Remain calm.
Whether you’ve just gotten the news or are about to attend a meeting, remaining calm will help you problem-solve and approach the situation with a clear head.
You might instantly take your child’s side or feel like their expulsion is a reflection of you.
If you get a phone call or have a meeting with the school, do your best to be calm throughout.If you notice you’re feeling upset and need to calm, take some deep breaths.
Breathe from your diaphragm and lengthen each of your breaths until you feel more calm and centered. -
Step 2: Get all of the information.
Start by asking both your child and the school district about what happened.
Ask who was involved, what happened, and the timeline of events.
Get as much information as you can from as many perspectives as possible.
Don't be afraid to ask for a meeting or call back later for more information.
This is your child's future.It’s normal for stories to not entirely match up and for blame to be placed, but get as clear of a picture as you can.
Be willing to hear both sides without judgment or interruption.
There’s probably at least hints of truth in all stories. , The school deals with your child as a student, but you deal with them as a parent.
While an expulsion is a large academic consequence, you may wish to have consequences for your child’s behavior at home, too.
Think about what’s appropriate for your child’s behavior.An expulsion shouldn’t be a holiday for your child.
You may want to take away their privileges (like a phone or television) or tighten the reigns on their freedoms with friends. , You and your child have the right to know why they are being expelled and what they are accused of.
You also have the right to know the evidence collected.
Both you and your child have the right to be heard.If the expulsion is more than 10 school days, a formal due process must occur with the school board.
At the hearing, your child has the right to tell their side of the story.
They also have the right to have the decision made by someone who is impartial and not invested in the outcome., You may seek legal counsel regarding your child’s expulsion.
A lawyer can familiarize you and your child with your rights and recommend some directions to take.
The lawyer can come with you and advise you and your child during the school board hearing.Having an attorney present at the school board meeting can help you formulate questions and seek fair treatment. , Your child’s school should give you a date, time, and place of the hearing.
You may wish to learn about the process of the hearing and what will happen during it, including who will speak and what will be discussed.
You can bring a letter or plan to speak during the hearing.You should be able to review the school records before the hearing. , You always have the right to appeal.
However, appeals are very rarely successful.
Make sure you have a very solid reason why you think this is a misunderstanding or an overstep.
Otherwise, dragging out the process can be grueling and not lead to anything beneficial.
An appeal would happen at the child’s expulsion hearing or shortly after. , If your child is expelled and not welcome to return to the same school, you will need to come up with some options for their education.
The school district should give you some suggestions on what to do next, but you can also create a plan on your own.
Your options include going to a different public school, attending an alternative school, attending a private school, or homeschooling.Private schools might be boarding schools or day schools.
This might include military schools, religious schools, or therapeutic schools.Homeschooling can help kids who are having social problems.
If your child got mixed in with a questionable crowd, homeschooling can be a good option.
Your child can even complete on-line schooling. , Some schools allow for re-entry after a child has completed steps to readmission.
This might include attending anger management or behavior therapy, substance abuse treatment, or completing community service.
Someone from the school board may check up on the progress of the re-entry plan every three months.Once the re-entry plan has been completed, your child may go before the board once again.
They board will vote whether your child will be re-admitted. , This is where your role of parent comes in, especially if the problems at school are behavioral.
Let your child know when their behavior is inappropriate and that they need to make some changes.
It might be helpful for you to enforce some new rules in your home or enforce consequences in a different way if what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working.
Write down your house rules (along with consequences) and put them in a visible place.
For example, have your child tell you each time they spend with friends, where they are going, and who they will be with.
If plans change, have them call you on their phone.
If they don’t do these things, then you will ground them or take away their computer privileges. , Your child’s extreme behavior might be a wake-up call for you that they need help or intervention.
Therapy can help your child build skills and create positive behaviors.
Your child might learn mindfulness skills which can help them make better decisions and cope with stress in more effective ways.Therapy shouldn’t feel like a punishment to your child or a consequence for their bad behavior. , Residential treatment is for children and teens who have behavioral or mental health issues that need more attention outside of traditional weekly therapy.
Here, your child will get specialized medical and psychological treatment in a safe, structured environment.
Treatment lasts from one to several months and often includes the parents and family.While residential treatment isn’t a long-term schooling solution for education, children can still get school credits while at residential treatment as they work toward improving their behavior. , Your time and attention may be focused on your child during this time, but make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too.
Have someone to talk to, like a partner, friend, or another parent who understands.
Even if they can’t solve your problems, it can be helpful to talk about it and what you’re going through.Do things for yourself that make you feel supported and taken care of.
Take a bath, go on a walk, write in a journal, or listen to calm music. -
Step 3: Consider at-home consequences.
-
Step 4: Know your child’s rights.
-
Step 5: Talk to a lawyer.
-
Step 6: Attend the expulsion hearing.
-
Step 7: Decide if you are going to appeal the decision.
-
Step 8: Explore your next steps for education.
-
Step 9: Follow through with the readmission plan.
-
Step 10: Work on problem behaviors at home.
-
Step 11: Get therapy for your child.
-
Step 12: Consider residential treatment.
-
Step 13: Take care of yourself.
Detailed Guide
Whether you’ve just gotten the news or are about to attend a meeting, remaining calm will help you problem-solve and approach the situation with a clear head.
You might instantly take your child’s side or feel like their expulsion is a reflection of you.
If you get a phone call or have a meeting with the school, do your best to be calm throughout.If you notice you’re feeling upset and need to calm, take some deep breaths.
Breathe from your diaphragm and lengthen each of your breaths until you feel more calm and centered.
Start by asking both your child and the school district about what happened.
Ask who was involved, what happened, and the timeline of events.
Get as much information as you can from as many perspectives as possible.
Don't be afraid to ask for a meeting or call back later for more information.
This is your child's future.It’s normal for stories to not entirely match up and for blame to be placed, but get as clear of a picture as you can.
Be willing to hear both sides without judgment or interruption.
There’s probably at least hints of truth in all stories. , The school deals with your child as a student, but you deal with them as a parent.
While an expulsion is a large academic consequence, you may wish to have consequences for your child’s behavior at home, too.
Think about what’s appropriate for your child’s behavior.An expulsion shouldn’t be a holiday for your child.
You may want to take away their privileges (like a phone or television) or tighten the reigns on their freedoms with friends. , You and your child have the right to know why they are being expelled and what they are accused of.
You also have the right to know the evidence collected.
Both you and your child have the right to be heard.If the expulsion is more than 10 school days, a formal due process must occur with the school board.
At the hearing, your child has the right to tell their side of the story.
They also have the right to have the decision made by someone who is impartial and not invested in the outcome., You may seek legal counsel regarding your child’s expulsion.
A lawyer can familiarize you and your child with your rights and recommend some directions to take.
The lawyer can come with you and advise you and your child during the school board hearing.Having an attorney present at the school board meeting can help you formulate questions and seek fair treatment. , Your child’s school should give you a date, time, and place of the hearing.
You may wish to learn about the process of the hearing and what will happen during it, including who will speak and what will be discussed.
You can bring a letter or plan to speak during the hearing.You should be able to review the school records before the hearing. , You always have the right to appeal.
However, appeals are very rarely successful.
Make sure you have a very solid reason why you think this is a misunderstanding or an overstep.
Otherwise, dragging out the process can be grueling and not lead to anything beneficial.
An appeal would happen at the child’s expulsion hearing or shortly after. , If your child is expelled and not welcome to return to the same school, you will need to come up with some options for their education.
The school district should give you some suggestions on what to do next, but you can also create a plan on your own.
Your options include going to a different public school, attending an alternative school, attending a private school, or homeschooling.Private schools might be boarding schools or day schools.
This might include military schools, religious schools, or therapeutic schools.Homeschooling can help kids who are having social problems.
If your child got mixed in with a questionable crowd, homeschooling can be a good option.
Your child can even complete on-line schooling. , Some schools allow for re-entry after a child has completed steps to readmission.
This might include attending anger management or behavior therapy, substance abuse treatment, or completing community service.
Someone from the school board may check up on the progress of the re-entry plan every three months.Once the re-entry plan has been completed, your child may go before the board once again.
They board will vote whether your child will be re-admitted. , This is where your role of parent comes in, especially if the problems at school are behavioral.
Let your child know when their behavior is inappropriate and that they need to make some changes.
It might be helpful for you to enforce some new rules in your home or enforce consequences in a different way if what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working.
Write down your house rules (along with consequences) and put them in a visible place.
For example, have your child tell you each time they spend with friends, where they are going, and who they will be with.
If plans change, have them call you on their phone.
If they don’t do these things, then you will ground them or take away their computer privileges. , Your child’s extreme behavior might be a wake-up call for you that they need help or intervention.
Therapy can help your child build skills and create positive behaviors.
Your child might learn mindfulness skills which can help them make better decisions and cope with stress in more effective ways.Therapy shouldn’t feel like a punishment to your child or a consequence for their bad behavior. , Residential treatment is for children and teens who have behavioral or mental health issues that need more attention outside of traditional weekly therapy.
Here, your child will get specialized medical and psychological treatment in a safe, structured environment.
Treatment lasts from one to several months and often includes the parents and family.While residential treatment isn’t a long-term schooling solution for education, children can still get school credits while at residential treatment as they work toward improving their behavior. , Your time and attention may be focused on your child during this time, but make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too.
Have someone to talk to, like a partner, friend, or another parent who understands.
Even if they can’t solve your problems, it can be helpful to talk about it and what you’re going through.Do things for yourself that make you feel supported and taken care of.
Take a bath, go on a walk, write in a journal, or listen to calm music.
About the Author
Lauren Coleman
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in home improvement and beyond.
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