How to Discipline an Autistic Child
Don't forget that, above all else, an autistic child is a child., Be patient., Stay positively focused., Handle meltdowns with care., Do not yell at your child.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't forget that
Any given child has their own preferences, quirks, behaviors, and reactions.
Any child has things they don't like, and things they do.
Being autistic doesn't change this.
Any discipline techniques you use should approach difficult behavioural situations with understanding.
Focus on providing your child the support they need to control themselves and turn "naughty" behaviour into more constructive actions.
Like any child, autistic children can misbehave.
Children don't always follow the rules, and sometimes all kids have trouble controlling themselves when they're upset.
Being autistic shouldn't constitute a "free pass" from following the rules, but on the flip-side, autistic children also shouldn't be punished for how they express themselves.
True discipline involves teaching self-control and how to get your needs met in a constructive way. -
Step 2: above all else
While at times you may become frustrated when trying to understand your child’s behavior, it is important to remember that patience is key.
With time, with use of the strategies covered below, your autistic child will learn better ways to behave.
This won't happen overnight.
Remember that autistic children experience challenges such as sensory problems and barriers with communication.
This can be very frustrating for them sometimes.
Keep in mind that autistic children's listening body language may look different from the listening body language of non-autistic children.
Stimming, looking in other directions, and not appearing to respond doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't listening. , Remember that a lot of ‘discipline’ involves encouraging the correct behaviour in your child, as opposed to punishing the wrong behaviour.
Work with your child to identify what is not acceptable and present them with alternatives that are (covered below).
The more you reinforce the good behaviours, the more frequently it will be applied by your child.
If the behaviours continue, it is beneficial to see a behaviour specialist to bring up your concerns., A lot of what you might think of as "bad behaviour" in autistic children comes in the form of meltdowns.
This can be particularly difficult to react to with younger children or others who don't use verbal communication to express when they're upset.
What may look like a "bad behaviour" tantrum in some can actually be an attempt to express their needs, deal with unsettling sensory experiences, or handle stress.
Ideally, you want to create a plan to help teach the child to avoid meltdowns themselves.
Classic "disciplinary" tactics that focus on punishment, like time-outs, can make things worse by upsetting the child further and removing any sense that they have control over their decisions.
Instead, teaching a child to take a “break” and introduce self-calming techniques empowers the child to manage their time and emotions and encourage the child to self-regulate.
How to Deal with Autistic Children's Meltdowns and How to Reduce Meltdowns and Tantrums in Autistic Children can help further with meltdowns in particular. , Shouting at your child, trying to control them, or displaying too much of authority can make him/her anxious and confused.
When facing anxiety, children may become very restless and agitated.
They can start showing temper tantrums, yelling or screaming.
Therefore, it is important to keep your voice lowered, even if you are very frustrated.It is okay to buy yourself time.
Try saying "I'm really frustrated.
I need some time to figure out what I'm going to do about this."They might also show self-harming behaviors like banging their heads against something.
Discuss replacement behavior with a therapist, so the child has an alternate way to relieve stress. -
Step 3: an autistic child is a child.
-
Step 4: Be patient.
-
Step 5: Stay positively focused.
-
Step 6: Handle meltdowns with care.
-
Step 7: Do not yell at your child.
Detailed Guide
Any given child has their own preferences, quirks, behaviors, and reactions.
Any child has things they don't like, and things they do.
Being autistic doesn't change this.
Any discipline techniques you use should approach difficult behavioural situations with understanding.
Focus on providing your child the support they need to control themselves and turn "naughty" behaviour into more constructive actions.
Like any child, autistic children can misbehave.
Children don't always follow the rules, and sometimes all kids have trouble controlling themselves when they're upset.
Being autistic shouldn't constitute a "free pass" from following the rules, but on the flip-side, autistic children also shouldn't be punished for how they express themselves.
True discipline involves teaching self-control and how to get your needs met in a constructive way.
While at times you may become frustrated when trying to understand your child’s behavior, it is important to remember that patience is key.
With time, with use of the strategies covered below, your autistic child will learn better ways to behave.
This won't happen overnight.
Remember that autistic children experience challenges such as sensory problems and barriers with communication.
This can be very frustrating for them sometimes.
Keep in mind that autistic children's listening body language may look different from the listening body language of non-autistic children.
Stimming, looking in other directions, and not appearing to respond doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't listening. , Remember that a lot of ‘discipline’ involves encouraging the correct behaviour in your child, as opposed to punishing the wrong behaviour.
Work with your child to identify what is not acceptable and present them with alternatives that are (covered below).
The more you reinforce the good behaviours, the more frequently it will be applied by your child.
If the behaviours continue, it is beneficial to see a behaviour specialist to bring up your concerns., A lot of what you might think of as "bad behaviour" in autistic children comes in the form of meltdowns.
This can be particularly difficult to react to with younger children or others who don't use verbal communication to express when they're upset.
What may look like a "bad behaviour" tantrum in some can actually be an attempt to express their needs, deal with unsettling sensory experiences, or handle stress.
Ideally, you want to create a plan to help teach the child to avoid meltdowns themselves.
Classic "disciplinary" tactics that focus on punishment, like time-outs, can make things worse by upsetting the child further and removing any sense that they have control over their decisions.
Instead, teaching a child to take a “break” and introduce self-calming techniques empowers the child to manage their time and emotions and encourage the child to self-regulate.
How to Deal with Autistic Children's Meltdowns and How to Reduce Meltdowns and Tantrums in Autistic Children can help further with meltdowns in particular. , Shouting at your child, trying to control them, or displaying too much of authority can make him/her anxious and confused.
When facing anxiety, children may become very restless and agitated.
They can start showing temper tantrums, yelling or screaming.
Therefore, it is important to keep your voice lowered, even if you are very frustrated.It is okay to buy yourself time.
Try saying "I'm really frustrated.
I need some time to figure out what I'm going to do about this."They might also show self-harming behaviors like banging their heads against something.
Discuss replacement behavior with a therapist, so the child has an alternate way to relieve stress.
About the Author
Melissa Clark
Brings years of experience writing about DIY projects and related subjects.
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