How to Explain Cremation to a Child

Consider the child’s age and developmental stage., Be honest and sincere., Avoid using euphemisms that might be confusing., Make sure the child understands what has been said., Allow the child to ask questions and answer them honestly., Read books...

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Consider the child’s age and developmental stage.

    A child’s age and developmental stage affects their understanding of death.

    Preschool age children might think death can be reversed.

    Children ages 5-9 realize death is final, but think they can escape it.

    By age 10 children begin understanding death as an irreversible part of life that will eventually happen to them., It is important to provide simple and relevant explanations of death to children.

    For example, if Grandfather passed away after a prolonged illness try saying, “Grandpa was sick for a long time.

    His body just quit working and the doctors couldn’t fix it.” If your family friend died in an accident, try to word things in a friendly and safe way, such as "Kim was in a bad car accident that caused her body to stop working and the doctors and nurses couldn’t fix it.” Don't use any words such as "terrible" "scary" "horrifying" and anything else that you don't need to say.

    Use words such as "bad".

    It gets across that there was something wrong, but it won't scare them. , Do not use explanations like, “Daddy went to sleep,” as the child could develop a fear of sleeping.

    Likewise you shouldn’t say, “Mommy went away.” This can instill fear of even brief separations like a parent going to the store or the child going to school., It’s critical that you ensure the child has understood what you explained to them about death.

    This may take time and it may require the answering of the same questions repeatedly.

    Be patient with the child.After providing an explanation, ask the child to explain what happens when someone dies.

    Try asking, “Joey, what happened to Aunt Kristen when she died?” Many kids learn by repetition, so they might need to have their questions answered repeatedly. , It’s normal for children to have questions about death, and it’s important you are open and forthcoming when responding to these inquiries even if you don’t have all the answers.If a child asks, “Will I die, too?” try saying, “All living things die eventually, but most of us will live until we are very old so you don’t need to worry about dying right now.” If your child asks, “Will you die, too, Mommy?” respond by saying, “I hope I live for a really long time.

    But you don’t need to worry because someone will always be here to love and take care of you.” , There are many child-appropriate books on the subject of death that you could read with your child.Reading a book about death with your child may help them to gain a better understanding of it.
  2. Step 2: Be honest and sincere.

  3. Step 3: Avoid using euphemisms that might be confusing.

  4. Step 4: Make sure the child understands what has been said.

  5. Step 5: Allow the child to ask questions and answer them honestly.

  6. Step 6: Read books about death with your child.

Detailed Guide

A child’s age and developmental stage affects their understanding of death.

Preschool age children might think death can be reversed.

Children ages 5-9 realize death is final, but think they can escape it.

By age 10 children begin understanding death as an irreversible part of life that will eventually happen to them., It is important to provide simple and relevant explanations of death to children.

For example, if Grandfather passed away after a prolonged illness try saying, “Grandpa was sick for a long time.

His body just quit working and the doctors couldn’t fix it.” If your family friend died in an accident, try to word things in a friendly and safe way, such as "Kim was in a bad car accident that caused her body to stop working and the doctors and nurses couldn’t fix it.” Don't use any words such as "terrible" "scary" "horrifying" and anything else that you don't need to say.

Use words such as "bad".

It gets across that there was something wrong, but it won't scare them. , Do not use explanations like, “Daddy went to sleep,” as the child could develop a fear of sleeping.

Likewise you shouldn’t say, “Mommy went away.” This can instill fear of even brief separations like a parent going to the store or the child going to school., It’s critical that you ensure the child has understood what you explained to them about death.

This may take time and it may require the answering of the same questions repeatedly.

Be patient with the child.After providing an explanation, ask the child to explain what happens when someone dies.

Try asking, “Joey, what happened to Aunt Kristen when she died?” Many kids learn by repetition, so they might need to have their questions answered repeatedly. , It’s normal for children to have questions about death, and it’s important you are open and forthcoming when responding to these inquiries even if you don’t have all the answers.If a child asks, “Will I die, too?” try saying, “All living things die eventually, but most of us will live until we are very old so you don’t need to worry about dying right now.” If your child asks, “Will you die, too, Mommy?” respond by saying, “I hope I live for a really long time.

But you don’t need to worry because someone will always be here to love and take care of you.” , There are many child-appropriate books on the subject of death that you could read with your child.Reading a book about death with your child may help them to gain a better understanding of it.

About the Author

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Kathryn Peterson

A passionate writer with expertise in home improvement topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.

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