How to Get Freedom with Overprotective Parents as a Teenage Girl
Rehearse what you want to say before you say it.There’s no way to change your parents’ minds if you don’t at least attempt to explain your thoughts on the matter., Plan to bargain.It might seem strange to negotiate with your parents, but you need to...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Rehearse what you want to say before you say it.There’s no way to change your parents’ minds if you don’t at least attempt to explain your thoughts on the matter.
If you believe that your parents are treating your unfairly, you should be prepared to present your case.
Before you talk to them, write down exactly what topics you want to cover.
Do you want your parents to let you go to the homecoming dance with your friends? Make a list of the best reasons you should be allowed to do so.
Do you want to start wearing makeup? Prepare a detailed argument for why you are ready.
If you can’t come up with any good reasons, don’t expect your parents to find your case believable.
Choose carefully the words you want to use to open the conversation.
Don’t start off with an accusation, such as, “Mom, you never let me do anything fun! That needs to change.” Instead, try to say something such as, "Mom, I know you're afraid to let me go into public without you being there, but I'd like to go to a movie with my friends on Friday night.
I was wondering if there was anything I could do to earn more freedom." Approach the situation with humility and respect, and your parents will be more likely to listen to what you have to say. -
Step 2: Plan to bargain.It might seem strange to negotiate with your parents
Is there anything you can offer to your parents in exchange for them loosening their rules? If they won’t allow you to see a movie with your friends on Friday, you could promise to vacuum the house on Saturday if they’ll permit to you to go.
Think about what tasks your parents hate doing.
Could you do them? If so, you might have an excellent bargaining chip.
Be ready to negotiate what your punishment should be if you fail to hold up your end of the bargain.
If you tell your parents you’ll be home at 10:00 p.m., and you come home at 10:45, what should the repercussions be? If you say you’ll wash the dishes for a week but stop after three days, how should you be penalized? Come up with some possible punishments before you approach your parents with your offer.
Show them that you can take responsibility for your actions.
Offer a compromise.
If you aren’t allowed to go to a movie that starts at 9:30 p.m., maybe you could see the 6:30 p.m. showing instead.
If they don’t want you to go to a party at a friend’s house, promise to text them every 30 minutes.
It would be annoying, but at least you’re getting a chance to prove yourself.
Be careful not to go into this conversation as if it’s a negotiation between equals.
Ultimately, you’re not in control of this situation, and you will have to abide by whatever your parents decide.
You don't hold the power in this situation, and you don't want to seem demanding and arrogant.
Pick words that will communicate the appropriate tone.
Don't say, "Mom, I'll vacuum the house on Saturday morning, but you're going to have to let me go to the movie on Friday night." Instead, you could say "Mom, I'd really like to go to the movie Friday night.
I know you hate vacuuming the house, so would you consider letting me go if I promise to do it Saturday morning?" If you can propose to do something that will make their lives easier, you’re giving them an incentive to consider your offer. , If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to be able to communicate like one.
Try to approach your parents in a calm and thoughtful manner.
Approach them when they are relaxed – perhaps after dinner – and politely tell them that you’d like to talk.
Once you have their attention, explain why you feel as if the limits being placed on you are unfair.
When your parents offer their reasons for setting limits on you, remain composed and cordial while maintaining your position.
If you lose your temper or storm out of the room, you’ll just be giving your parents reasons to believe that you’re not mature enough to handle more freedom. , You might have to settle for giving them something to think about later.
Remember, you don’t have to win this argument to make your point.
At this stage, you want your parents to think about what you’re saying and to be happy that you could approach them in a considerate manner, even if they don’t agree.
Be prepared for your parents to react badly.
Given that you are questioning their parenting skills, they might even get angry that you had the audacity to confront them.
Especially if your parents refuse to budge, you should handle this situation with maturity and poise.
In doing so, you might impress them and cause them to question whether they are being too strict. -
Step 3: but you need to provide them with some incentive to consider your ideas.
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Step 4: Stay calm and maintain your composure.
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Step 5: Accept the fact that you might not change their minds.Chances are
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Step 6: if your parents have placed heavy restrictions on you
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Step 7: they’re not going to immediately change their minds after one conversation.
Detailed Guide
If you believe that your parents are treating your unfairly, you should be prepared to present your case.
Before you talk to them, write down exactly what topics you want to cover.
Do you want your parents to let you go to the homecoming dance with your friends? Make a list of the best reasons you should be allowed to do so.
Do you want to start wearing makeup? Prepare a detailed argument for why you are ready.
If you can’t come up with any good reasons, don’t expect your parents to find your case believable.
Choose carefully the words you want to use to open the conversation.
Don’t start off with an accusation, such as, “Mom, you never let me do anything fun! That needs to change.” Instead, try to say something such as, "Mom, I know you're afraid to let me go into public without you being there, but I'd like to go to a movie with my friends on Friday night.
I was wondering if there was anything I could do to earn more freedom." Approach the situation with humility and respect, and your parents will be more likely to listen to what you have to say.
Is there anything you can offer to your parents in exchange for them loosening their rules? If they won’t allow you to see a movie with your friends on Friday, you could promise to vacuum the house on Saturday if they’ll permit to you to go.
Think about what tasks your parents hate doing.
Could you do them? If so, you might have an excellent bargaining chip.
Be ready to negotiate what your punishment should be if you fail to hold up your end of the bargain.
If you tell your parents you’ll be home at 10:00 p.m., and you come home at 10:45, what should the repercussions be? If you say you’ll wash the dishes for a week but stop after three days, how should you be penalized? Come up with some possible punishments before you approach your parents with your offer.
Show them that you can take responsibility for your actions.
Offer a compromise.
If you aren’t allowed to go to a movie that starts at 9:30 p.m., maybe you could see the 6:30 p.m. showing instead.
If they don’t want you to go to a party at a friend’s house, promise to text them every 30 minutes.
It would be annoying, but at least you’re getting a chance to prove yourself.
Be careful not to go into this conversation as if it’s a negotiation between equals.
Ultimately, you’re not in control of this situation, and you will have to abide by whatever your parents decide.
You don't hold the power in this situation, and you don't want to seem demanding and arrogant.
Pick words that will communicate the appropriate tone.
Don't say, "Mom, I'll vacuum the house on Saturday morning, but you're going to have to let me go to the movie on Friday night." Instead, you could say "Mom, I'd really like to go to the movie Friday night.
I know you hate vacuuming the house, so would you consider letting me go if I promise to do it Saturday morning?" If you can propose to do something that will make their lives easier, you’re giving them an incentive to consider your offer. , If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to be able to communicate like one.
Try to approach your parents in a calm and thoughtful manner.
Approach them when they are relaxed – perhaps after dinner – and politely tell them that you’d like to talk.
Once you have their attention, explain why you feel as if the limits being placed on you are unfair.
When your parents offer their reasons for setting limits on you, remain composed and cordial while maintaining your position.
If you lose your temper or storm out of the room, you’ll just be giving your parents reasons to believe that you’re not mature enough to handle more freedom. , You might have to settle for giving them something to think about later.
Remember, you don’t have to win this argument to make your point.
At this stage, you want your parents to think about what you’re saying and to be happy that you could approach them in a considerate manner, even if they don’t agree.
Be prepared for your parents to react badly.
Given that you are questioning their parenting skills, they might even get angry that you had the audacity to confront them.
Especially if your parents refuse to budge, you should handle this situation with maturity and poise.
In doing so, you might impress them and cause them to question whether they are being too strict.
About the Author
Janice Ellis
Specializes in breaking down complex home improvement topics into simple steps.
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