How to Get Your Child to Apologize
Prompt young children., Explain what they did wrong., State why we apologize., Give them time to think., Encourage them to make it up to the offended person.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Prompt young children.
Children between the ages of two and five may not realize when they have done something wrong, and they may not have learned what apologies are yet.
For these children, tell them when you want them to apologize in a calm but gentle voice.You can tell the child, “Say you’re sorry now.” You might also try stating, “Can you say that you’re sorry?” Stop this practice around age six.
Children over six should learn to apologize on their own.
By requiring them to apologize, you may be encouraging insincere apologies. -
Step 2: Explain what they did wrong.
A gentle explanation of why the child needs to apologize can help them recognize that what they did was wrong.
This will help them recognize these situations in the future.To a child under the age of six, you might say something like, “We say sorry when we make people sad or mad, even if we did not mean it.” An older child might require a longer conversation.
You might start by saying, “I understand that you’re frustrated, but it’s not right to call other people names.
I think you need to apologize.” If the child is younger, then you might need to use different language, such as, “I understand you didn't like what he said, but it’s not right to call other people names.
I think you need to apologize.” For children over the age of six, you can encourage them to apologize, but you should not force them to do so.
Children should learn that apologies are sincere expressions of regret, not a quick statement that can get them out of trouble., To teach your child the importance of apologizing, you might want to explain why it is important to apologize.
You might point out that apologizing can heal hurt feelings or that apologizing can end a fight.
You might say, "How do you think the other person feels? By saying sorry, you can make them feel better." If the child is feeling angry or sad about what happened, you might say, "If you apologize, you might feel better yourself." You might emphasize that apologizing can make things better after a fight.
You can say, "When you apologize, you let the other person know that you didn't mean what you did.
They will understand that it was a mistake."Only use "apologize" when you are sure that the child understands that word.
Otherwise, you can substitute "when you say you are sorry” for “apologize.” , Do not expect an apology right away.
Some children may need time to realize that what they did was wrong.
Instead of immediately demanding an apology, try to give the child a little space.
They may come to you to apologize.You can put a child in time-out for a few minutes.
Afterwards, you can, “are you ready to say you’re sorry?” Do not drag out the apology too long.
If the child does not apologize by the end of the day, you may just need to let it go.
Remember that the child's personality will factor in to how readily they will apologize. , Try to attach the verbal apology with a sincere action.
If the child hurt someone, you might ask the child to make it up to the other person.
They might do a favor for the other person, or they can make a creative gift for the person they hurt.Writing a letter or drawing a picture may be a good way for the child to apologize to adults.
If the child took something from another child or did not share, you might encourage them to give the item back. -
Step 3: State why we apologize.
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Step 4: Give them time to think.
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Step 5: Encourage them to make it up to the offended person.
Detailed Guide
Children between the ages of two and five may not realize when they have done something wrong, and they may not have learned what apologies are yet.
For these children, tell them when you want them to apologize in a calm but gentle voice.You can tell the child, “Say you’re sorry now.” You might also try stating, “Can you say that you’re sorry?” Stop this practice around age six.
Children over six should learn to apologize on their own.
By requiring them to apologize, you may be encouraging insincere apologies.
A gentle explanation of why the child needs to apologize can help them recognize that what they did was wrong.
This will help them recognize these situations in the future.To a child under the age of six, you might say something like, “We say sorry when we make people sad or mad, even if we did not mean it.” An older child might require a longer conversation.
You might start by saying, “I understand that you’re frustrated, but it’s not right to call other people names.
I think you need to apologize.” If the child is younger, then you might need to use different language, such as, “I understand you didn't like what he said, but it’s not right to call other people names.
I think you need to apologize.” For children over the age of six, you can encourage them to apologize, but you should not force them to do so.
Children should learn that apologies are sincere expressions of regret, not a quick statement that can get them out of trouble., To teach your child the importance of apologizing, you might want to explain why it is important to apologize.
You might point out that apologizing can heal hurt feelings or that apologizing can end a fight.
You might say, "How do you think the other person feels? By saying sorry, you can make them feel better." If the child is feeling angry or sad about what happened, you might say, "If you apologize, you might feel better yourself." You might emphasize that apologizing can make things better after a fight.
You can say, "When you apologize, you let the other person know that you didn't mean what you did.
They will understand that it was a mistake."Only use "apologize" when you are sure that the child understands that word.
Otherwise, you can substitute "when you say you are sorry” for “apologize.” , Do not expect an apology right away.
Some children may need time to realize that what they did was wrong.
Instead of immediately demanding an apology, try to give the child a little space.
They may come to you to apologize.You can put a child in time-out for a few minutes.
Afterwards, you can, “are you ready to say you’re sorry?” Do not drag out the apology too long.
If the child does not apologize by the end of the day, you may just need to let it go.
Remember that the child's personality will factor in to how readily they will apologize. , Try to attach the verbal apology with a sincere action.
If the child hurt someone, you might ask the child to make it up to the other person.
They might do a favor for the other person, or they can make a creative gift for the person they hurt.Writing a letter or drawing a picture may be a good way for the child to apologize to adults.
If the child took something from another child or did not share, you might encourage them to give the item back.
About the Author
Ryan Chapman
A passionate writer with expertise in pet care topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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