How to Get Your Parents to See Your Point of View
Write down your feelings., Consider what you want to get out of the conversation., Choose a good time to talk., Go in without expectations., Consider your parents' point of view.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Write down your feelings.
Trying to explain an issue you're having to your parents can be hard.
It can be helpful to write your feelings down ahead of time.
This helps you figure out what you want to say, allowing you to have a productive, effective conversation.
To start, just write down what you are feeling.
Are you upset over an argument you had with your parents? Do you feel like your parents do not respect or understand you as much as they could? Explain your feelings in detail, and also make note of why you're feeling them.You should also purge any anger in writing.
Going into a conversation mad can be toxic to healthy dialogue.
It may be a good idea to write out any anger you're feeling ahead of time rather than expressing it later.
Try to find the best way to articulate your feelings.
As you write, read over your words.
See if there's a way to tweak them to make them more easily understandable.
This can help when you sit down and confront your parents. -
Step 2: Consider what you want to get out of the conversation.
You should consider what your end goal is with this conversation.
Do you want your parents to apologize? Do you want them to do something differently in the future? A difficult conversation should have some kind of end goal.
Make sure you consider this ahead of time.
To start, you probably want your parents to simply understand where you're coming from.
Generational gaps can cause misunderstanding between children and parents.
Things change over time, and cultural norms are likely different for you than they were when your parents were your age.
It's important to get your parents to understand how you're shaped by the times.You may be looking for something more specific, however.
Maybe you're asking permission to do something, like attend a party.
Maybe you want support or guidance in school or your social life.
Try to consider what you're asking for, and the best way to make that request.
For example, maybe your parents will think you wanting to extend your curfew for prom night is petty.
However, maybe you're a senior in high school and this is one of the last nights you and your friends will spend together as a group.
Talk about your need for social connection and lasting memories., When you have a conversation can be just as important as how you have.
Pick a time to talk when you and your parents will not be stressed or distracted.
This can help the conversation run smoother.
Look for a day of the week free of external obligations.
Talking 30 minutes before your Dad has to get to a PTA meeting is a bad idea, as is choosing to talk when you have basketball practice in 15 minutes.
Pick a day of the week when everyone's night is relatively free.Pick a good place to talk.
You do not want to start a difficult conversation at a noisy, crowded restaurant.
Instead, choose to talk in your living room.
Minimize external distractions.
Turn off the TV and do not check your phone during the conversation., If you go into the conversation expecting it to unfold in a certain way, you may feel disappointed or frustrated when things turn out differently.
Do not try to predict how your parents will act.
Allow things to unfold freely.Negative expectations can cause you to go into the conversation with hostility.
If you expect your parents to be dismissive of your desire to stay out late on prom night, you may come into the conversation angry and confrontational.
This could make your parents less likely to listen to your perspective.
You should also not have overly high expectations.
If you're asking for permission to stay out until 4 in the morning on prom night, it's unlikely your parents will agree.
Try not to insist on getting your exact way.
Know ahead of time you may have to compromise on some things during the conversation.
For example, maybe your parents will agree to extend your curfew, but only until 1:30 and only if you check in every half hour. , Before going into the conversation, consider your parents' perspective a bit.
While you may feel like they're being harsh or unfair, your parents ultimately want what's best for you.
Try to understand the rationale for their rules.
Your parents will be more willing to listen to you if you've shown maturity by considering their perspective.Are there any extenuating circumstances at play? For example, maybe you have an older sibling who has gotten in trouble in the past.
Your parents may have developed strict rules for you to prevent you from following the same path.
Keep in mind being a parent is very hard.
Raising a child comes with a lot of stress that's hard for you to understand if you're not a parent as well.
Be empathetic.
Place yourself in your parents shoes and imagine how scary and difficult it must be to raise a child in a world that's often dangerous and unpredictable. -
Step 3: Choose a good time to talk.
-
Step 4: Go in without expectations.
-
Step 5: Consider your parents' point of view.
Detailed Guide
Trying to explain an issue you're having to your parents can be hard.
It can be helpful to write your feelings down ahead of time.
This helps you figure out what you want to say, allowing you to have a productive, effective conversation.
To start, just write down what you are feeling.
Are you upset over an argument you had with your parents? Do you feel like your parents do not respect or understand you as much as they could? Explain your feelings in detail, and also make note of why you're feeling them.You should also purge any anger in writing.
Going into a conversation mad can be toxic to healthy dialogue.
It may be a good idea to write out any anger you're feeling ahead of time rather than expressing it later.
Try to find the best way to articulate your feelings.
As you write, read over your words.
See if there's a way to tweak them to make them more easily understandable.
This can help when you sit down and confront your parents.
You should consider what your end goal is with this conversation.
Do you want your parents to apologize? Do you want them to do something differently in the future? A difficult conversation should have some kind of end goal.
Make sure you consider this ahead of time.
To start, you probably want your parents to simply understand where you're coming from.
Generational gaps can cause misunderstanding between children and parents.
Things change over time, and cultural norms are likely different for you than they were when your parents were your age.
It's important to get your parents to understand how you're shaped by the times.You may be looking for something more specific, however.
Maybe you're asking permission to do something, like attend a party.
Maybe you want support or guidance in school or your social life.
Try to consider what you're asking for, and the best way to make that request.
For example, maybe your parents will think you wanting to extend your curfew for prom night is petty.
However, maybe you're a senior in high school and this is one of the last nights you and your friends will spend together as a group.
Talk about your need for social connection and lasting memories., When you have a conversation can be just as important as how you have.
Pick a time to talk when you and your parents will not be stressed or distracted.
This can help the conversation run smoother.
Look for a day of the week free of external obligations.
Talking 30 minutes before your Dad has to get to a PTA meeting is a bad idea, as is choosing to talk when you have basketball practice in 15 minutes.
Pick a day of the week when everyone's night is relatively free.Pick a good place to talk.
You do not want to start a difficult conversation at a noisy, crowded restaurant.
Instead, choose to talk in your living room.
Minimize external distractions.
Turn off the TV and do not check your phone during the conversation., If you go into the conversation expecting it to unfold in a certain way, you may feel disappointed or frustrated when things turn out differently.
Do not try to predict how your parents will act.
Allow things to unfold freely.Negative expectations can cause you to go into the conversation with hostility.
If you expect your parents to be dismissive of your desire to stay out late on prom night, you may come into the conversation angry and confrontational.
This could make your parents less likely to listen to your perspective.
You should also not have overly high expectations.
If you're asking for permission to stay out until 4 in the morning on prom night, it's unlikely your parents will agree.
Try not to insist on getting your exact way.
Know ahead of time you may have to compromise on some things during the conversation.
For example, maybe your parents will agree to extend your curfew, but only until 1:30 and only if you check in every half hour. , Before going into the conversation, consider your parents' perspective a bit.
While you may feel like they're being harsh or unfair, your parents ultimately want what's best for you.
Try to understand the rationale for their rules.
Your parents will be more willing to listen to you if you've shown maturity by considering their perspective.Are there any extenuating circumstances at play? For example, maybe you have an older sibling who has gotten in trouble in the past.
Your parents may have developed strict rules for you to prevent you from following the same path.
Keep in mind being a parent is very hard.
Raising a child comes with a lot of stress that's hard for you to understand if you're not a parent as well.
Be empathetic.
Place yourself in your parents shoes and imagine how scary and difficult it must be to raise a child in a world that's often dangerous and unpredictable.
About the Author
James Gordon
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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