How to Get Your Toddler to Play with Other Children
Focus on increasing your child’s confidence., Teach generosity., Work on sharing., Read picture books about friendship., Practice social situations., Emphasize cooperation., Set a good example., Start at home., Include your child in the planning...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Focus on increasing your child’s confidence.
If your toddler feels confident and secure, he or she will be more likely to begin socializing at an early age.
Give your toddler your love, affection, support, and attention, and offer praise for new accomplishments and good behavior.
Let your toddler know that you think he or she is a good, kind, kid.
Children worry, even from the toddler years, that other children may not like them.
Building your child’s confidence and praising his or her abilities will help with this issue.
Avoid chastising toddlers severely; try to rely on natural consequences instead, and tell your child what kind of behavior you expect. -
Step 2: Teach generosity.
Children can learn to be generous from an early age.
Help your toddler make and give a gift to someone, and talk about the results: “Look how happy your sister is! She loves this picture you colored so much! It was so kind and generous of you to give it to her.” , For young toddlers, learning to share can be very difficult.
It’s completely normal, developmentally, for children under two years old to refuse to share altogether, and even after that, learning to share can be a gradual process, frustrating for both you and your child.
With some attention, though, you can make this a bit easier.
If you have other children, encourage sharing between siblings.
Ask your child to lend a toy or give part of a treat to a sibling, and offer praise for any attempts at sharing; similarly, ask older children to share with your toddler, and then point out how kind the act of sharing is.
If your toddler does not have siblings, you can share with him yourself.
Practice sharing food, toys, or other items, and again, praise any attempts your child makes to share. , Buy or borrow some children’s books that deal with sharing, cooperation, and friendship, and read them with your toddler.
Take the time to talk with your child about the books, comparing them to situations your child encounters in real life. , If your toddler has siblings, they can serve as “practice play dates.” Even if your toddler is an only child, you and your partner can serve as play partners, modeling appropriate behavior and interacting with your toddler as other children would. , Even when it’s just you and your child, you can teach the basics of cooperation, showing your child that you value his or her contributions.
This process helps develop a toddler’s social skills.
For example, you could have your child help you when you set the dinner table.
Ask which plates and cutlery to use, and show that you value his or her opinion.
Emphasize the fact that the finished product – the nicely arranged dinner table – resulted from the two of you working together.
You can also ask your toddler to help you sort dirty clothes when you are doing laundry and/or help you fold and put laundry away.
Be sure to thank your child for the help. , You are a role model for your child.
Playing with other children will seem more natural if he or she sees you socializing with friends and relatives and treating others well. , Your child will feel most comfortable in a familiar space, so arrange his or her first play dates at home.
This is also a good opportunity to teach your toddler about the role of a host.
Explain that it’s important to be kind and generous to guests. , Talk to your toddler about having a play date with a friend.
Ask who he or she might like to invite and which activities he or she might like to do.
Discuss possible situations that might occur – there is an argument, for example, or the other child refuses to play – and talk about possible responses. , In the beginning, groups can be overwhelming.
Start by inviting one friend, preferably someone your child already knows and likes, and encouraging the two to play together.
As your child gets more comfortable in these situations, you can expand his or her social circle. , Select activities that both children will like, and then make sure there are enough toys available.
If, for example, the children are going to play with cars, try to have several available; it’s even better if some of these are similar or identical.
Arguing over toys is one of the most common problems toddlers have when socializing.
Consider putting away your child’s special favorites before the play date.
For toddlers, it may simply be too much to expect them to politely share their favorite things. , Most young toddlers engage mostly in “parallel play” – they sit and play alone, even in the presence of other children.
It can take some direct help and encouragement to get toddlers to play together.
Suggest board games aimed at very young children, or social games based on imaginary play. , Do not simply leave toddlers alone to play, especially if one of them seems to be struggling.
Play with the children.
Your presence will make your child feel more confident, and you can model appropriate forms of socializing and cooperative play. , Once your child begins to warm up to the idea of socializing with other children, try to schedule these play dates as often as possible.
As time goes on, you can participate in them less and less, leaving your child to play with his friends without you. , Your child may struggle in public places because the other children are strangers.
Teaching a simple “Hi, my name is .
Do you want to play together?” will go a long way. , Once your child feels comfortable with play dates at home, you can begin encouraging socialization at places like parks and playgrounds.
This can be a bit more stressful for some children, though, so let your toddler approach groups of children at his or her own pace. , Suggest that your toddler play with other children who are present.
Emphasize the fact that playing in a group will be much more fun than simply sitting next to you.
If your child resists, though, do not force the issue. , If your child seems willing to join a group of children, you should allow it.
Keep a close eye on your toddler, but try not to get involved unless it becomes necessary. , If your child gets in an argument, gets upset about something, or feels tired and cranky, it’s fine to call it quits and go home. , Try to recognize your child’s attempts to be social, even if they are rather timid and short-lived at first.
He or she will build confidence and social skills over time. , When you are in public places with your child, you can be a good social role model by chatting with other parents.
Let your child see that it’s possible to make new acquaintances. , When your child starts making new friends, react with enthusiasm.
Plan fun new trips to different places, and start enlarging his or her social circle. -
Step 3: Work on sharing.
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Step 4: Read picture books about friendship.
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Step 5: Practice social situations.
-
Step 6: Emphasize cooperation.
-
Step 7: Set a good example.
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Step 8: Start at home.
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Step 9: Include your child in the planning process.
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Step 10: Stick to one special friend.
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Step 11: Choose toys in advance.
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Step 12: Encourage social games.
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Step 13: Get involved.
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Step 14: Have play dates frequently.
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Step 15: Practice introductions.
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Step 16: Take your toddler to places where other children will be.
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Step 17: Encourage – but do not force – your child to run and play with other children.
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Step 18: Let your child negotiate park and playground games without you.
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Step 19: Allow your child to leave a game at will.
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Step 20: Praise your child’s efforts to get involved in group activities.
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Step 21: Talk to other parents.
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Step 22: Plan new social outings.
Detailed Guide
If your toddler feels confident and secure, he or she will be more likely to begin socializing at an early age.
Give your toddler your love, affection, support, and attention, and offer praise for new accomplishments and good behavior.
Let your toddler know that you think he or she is a good, kind, kid.
Children worry, even from the toddler years, that other children may not like them.
Building your child’s confidence and praising his or her abilities will help with this issue.
Avoid chastising toddlers severely; try to rely on natural consequences instead, and tell your child what kind of behavior you expect.
Children can learn to be generous from an early age.
Help your toddler make and give a gift to someone, and talk about the results: “Look how happy your sister is! She loves this picture you colored so much! It was so kind and generous of you to give it to her.” , For young toddlers, learning to share can be very difficult.
It’s completely normal, developmentally, for children under two years old to refuse to share altogether, and even after that, learning to share can be a gradual process, frustrating for both you and your child.
With some attention, though, you can make this a bit easier.
If you have other children, encourage sharing between siblings.
Ask your child to lend a toy or give part of a treat to a sibling, and offer praise for any attempts at sharing; similarly, ask older children to share with your toddler, and then point out how kind the act of sharing is.
If your toddler does not have siblings, you can share with him yourself.
Practice sharing food, toys, or other items, and again, praise any attempts your child makes to share. , Buy or borrow some children’s books that deal with sharing, cooperation, and friendship, and read them with your toddler.
Take the time to talk with your child about the books, comparing them to situations your child encounters in real life. , If your toddler has siblings, they can serve as “practice play dates.” Even if your toddler is an only child, you and your partner can serve as play partners, modeling appropriate behavior and interacting with your toddler as other children would. , Even when it’s just you and your child, you can teach the basics of cooperation, showing your child that you value his or her contributions.
This process helps develop a toddler’s social skills.
For example, you could have your child help you when you set the dinner table.
Ask which plates and cutlery to use, and show that you value his or her opinion.
Emphasize the fact that the finished product – the nicely arranged dinner table – resulted from the two of you working together.
You can also ask your toddler to help you sort dirty clothes when you are doing laundry and/or help you fold and put laundry away.
Be sure to thank your child for the help. , You are a role model for your child.
Playing with other children will seem more natural if he or she sees you socializing with friends and relatives and treating others well. , Your child will feel most comfortable in a familiar space, so arrange his or her first play dates at home.
This is also a good opportunity to teach your toddler about the role of a host.
Explain that it’s important to be kind and generous to guests. , Talk to your toddler about having a play date with a friend.
Ask who he or she might like to invite and which activities he or she might like to do.
Discuss possible situations that might occur – there is an argument, for example, or the other child refuses to play – and talk about possible responses. , In the beginning, groups can be overwhelming.
Start by inviting one friend, preferably someone your child already knows and likes, and encouraging the two to play together.
As your child gets more comfortable in these situations, you can expand his or her social circle. , Select activities that both children will like, and then make sure there are enough toys available.
If, for example, the children are going to play with cars, try to have several available; it’s even better if some of these are similar or identical.
Arguing over toys is one of the most common problems toddlers have when socializing.
Consider putting away your child’s special favorites before the play date.
For toddlers, it may simply be too much to expect them to politely share their favorite things. , Most young toddlers engage mostly in “parallel play” – they sit and play alone, even in the presence of other children.
It can take some direct help and encouragement to get toddlers to play together.
Suggest board games aimed at very young children, or social games based on imaginary play. , Do not simply leave toddlers alone to play, especially if one of them seems to be struggling.
Play with the children.
Your presence will make your child feel more confident, and you can model appropriate forms of socializing and cooperative play. , Once your child begins to warm up to the idea of socializing with other children, try to schedule these play dates as often as possible.
As time goes on, you can participate in them less and less, leaving your child to play with his friends without you. , Your child may struggle in public places because the other children are strangers.
Teaching a simple “Hi, my name is .
Do you want to play together?” will go a long way. , Once your child feels comfortable with play dates at home, you can begin encouraging socialization at places like parks and playgrounds.
This can be a bit more stressful for some children, though, so let your toddler approach groups of children at his or her own pace. , Suggest that your toddler play with other children who are present.
Emphasize the fact that playing in a group will be much more fun than simply sitting next to you.
If your child resists, though, do not force the issue. , If your child seems willing to join a group of children, you should allow it.
Keep a close eye on your toddler, but try not to get involved unless it becomes necessary. , If your child gets in an argument, gets upset about something, or feels tired and cranky, it’s fine to call it quits and go home. , Try to recognize your child’s attempts to be social, even if they are rather timid and short-lived at first.
He or she will build confidence and social skills over time. , When you are in public places with your child, you can be a good social role model by chatting with other parents.
Let your child see that it’s possible to make new acquaintances. , When your child starts making new friends, react with enthusiasm.
Plan fun new trips to different places, and start enlarging his or her social circle.
About the Author
Natalie Pierce
Brings years of experience writing about practical skills and related subjects.
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