How to Get Your Way with Your Parents
Consider the reasonability of your request., Map out how you are going to say your request., Plan your "refusal response method"., Reconsider your request plan.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Consider the reasonability of your request.
Is the fulfillment of your request harmless? Are your parents able to provide what you want to you? Have you done some good deeds to deserve what you want? If so, the request you are about to make is most likely reasonable.
If not, your request is rather boisterous.
Think about it carefully.
Once you have decided that your request is reasonable, please go to the next step. -
Step 2: Map out how you are going to say your request.
Remember that an authoritatively gentle, firm but respectful voice is more likely to bring you what you want than an overly demanding, unkind threat.
Say something like, "Mom/Dad, considering how obedient and dutiful I have been to you and my father lately, I believe that I deserve a reward for it.
I would like to respectfully request a (insert your desire here).
Do you agree?" Be mature and respectful.
Do not be demanding of your parents, and remember that respect is more effective than a threat.
Never say something like, "I want a phone, and if you don't give me one I will no longer respect you." This is a threat, and threats are ineffective and disrespectful.
You will not get what you want simply by uttering a threat.
It is acceptable to plan out your request beforehand:
Be obedient and respectful to your parents and elders for a week, and then make your request, or do a few extra chores for three to seven days and say your request then.
This is often way more effective. , Always plan a refusal response.
If your parents say no, you want to know how to respond politely but firmly against their refusal.
Have at least three good reasons ready to say.
For example, you deserve a dog because you did most of your brother's chores for three weeks, kept your room exceptionally clean for nine days and obeyed and respected your parents and teachers completely for half a month.
These are good reasons.
To say you deserve a dog simply because you took out the garbage for your mother two times last week is not powerful enough.
The better the reward you want, the more powerful your persuasions have to be.
Having a refusal response plan is very important.
Never set out to request something without a plan like this.
Plan out also the tone of voice in which you are going to carry out your request.
You may want to rehearse it in your household washroom in front of the mirror if you feel that you need it. , See if any parts of it are lacking.
Can your parents poke any counterarguments through your request? For example, did you obey and respect your parents but complain everyday for having to do it? If so, find a different reason.
Your former one is not powerful enough.
Also think about your parents' style of parenting.
Are they a permissive, neglecting, authoritative or authoritarian parent? Are they hot-tempered or tranquil? Are they reasonable or boisterous? Think about it--it will help you. -
Step 3: Plan your "refusal response method".
-
Step 4: Reconsider your request plan.
Detailed Guide
Is the fulfillment of your request harmless? Are your parents able to provide what you want to you? Have you done some good deeds to deserve what you want? If so, the request you are about to make is most likely reasonable.
If not, your request is rather boisterous.
Think about it carefully.
Once you have decided that your request is reasonable, please go to the next step.
Remember that an authoritatively gentle, firm but respectful voice is more likely to bring you what you want than an overly demanding, unkind threat.
Say something like, "Mom/Dad, considering how obedient and dutiful I have been to you and my father lately, I believe that I deserve a reward for it.
I would like to respectfully request a (insert your desire here).
Do you agree?" Be mature and respectful.
Do not be demanding of your parents, and remember that respect is more effective than a threat.
Never say something like, "I want a phone, and if you don't give me one I will no longer respect you." This is a threat, and threats are ineffective and disrespectful.
You will not get what you want simply by uttering a threat.
It is acceptable to plan out your request beforehand:
Be obedient and respectful to your parents and elders for a week, and then make your request, or do a few extra chores for three to seven days and say your request then.
This is often way more effective. , Always plan a refusal response.
If your parents say no, you want to know how to respond politely but firmly against their refusal.
Have at least three good reasons ready to say.
For example, you deserve a dog because you did most of your brother's chores for three weeks, kept your room exceptionally clean for nine days and obeyed and respected your parents and teachers completely for half a month.
These are good reasons.
To say you deserve a dog simply because you took out the garbage for your mother two times last week is not powerful enough.
The better the reward you want, the more powerful your persuasions have to be.
Having a refusal response plan is very important.
Never set out to request something without a plan like this.
Plan out also the tone of voice in which you are going to carry out your request.
You may want to rehearse it in your household washroom in front of the mirror if you feel that you need it. , See if any parts of it are lacking.
Can your parents poke any counterarguments through your request? For example, did you obey and respect your parents but complain everyday for having to do it? If so, find a different reason.
Your former one is not powerful enough.
Also think about your parents' style of parenting.
Are they a permissive, neglecting, authoritative or authoritarian parent? Are they hot-tempered or tranquil? Are they reasonable or boisterous? Think about it--it will help you.
About the Author
Richard Wilson
Writer and educator with a focus on practical organization knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: