How to Help a Sibling Who Is Contemplating Suicide
Ask how you can help., Listen to show you care., Refrain from judging, criticizing or blaming., Be hopeful.Feeling depressed and suicidal can be the equivalent of having a stormy gray cloud overhead that doesn't seem to ever leave., Offer physical...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask how you can help.
It may seem obvious to pose such a question, but doing so shows your genuine concern and commitment to helping your sibling get better.
Professional help is required to help your sibling overcome whatever he's feeling.
However, there may be something you can do immediately to make him more comfortable or temporarily distract him from upsetting thoughts or feelings.
Approach your sibling and say, "You haven't seemed like yourself lately.
What can I do to support you better?" -
Step 2: Listen to show you care.
Simply listening to your sibling vent her frustrations or fears may offer her some level of comfort.
Rushing to reassure or dismiss without hearing the person's full story is a common mistake made by friends and loved ones of suicidal persons.Pull up a chair and find a quiet place for the two of you to go so that she can express what she's feeling.
Actively listen by:
Asking open-ended questions: "What happened to make you feel this way?" or "How long have you been feeling this way?" Summarizing what the person said: "So, you've been feeling pretty bad ever since you dropped out of college." Reflecting, or repeating a word back:
Your sibling says, "Yes, I've felt just lost in my life since then." You can reflect by repeating, "Lost..." to encourage her to continue.
Clarifying points that the person skirts over: "Tell me more about that" Reacting to the message: "You have really been having a tough time.
I appreciate you sharing your feelings with me."
Becoming angry because he wants to take his life, blaming yourself or your parents for how he feels, or chastising him for breaking moral or religious principles will only lead to your sibling retreating further into himself and pushing you out.
Leave your own ego and agenda at the door.
Being a source of support means putting aside any differences of opinion to show genuine concern for this person.
If you have the urge to state a judgment, such as "Oh, that's what bothering you?"
just don't say anything at all.
Practice your active listening skills and be present for your sibling.
You might say something like, "We all think or feel things we aren't proud of.
I won't judge you for what you think or how you feel."
Give your sibling a small ray of sunshine by demonstrating your belief in her and hope for the future.
You might say something like: "I know it seems hard, but you can feel better with professional help." "It may not look like it today, but these feelings are only temporary." "You are not alone." "Your life is important to me.
Whatever it takes, I will help you through this."
If you and your sibling generally have a touchy-feely sort of relationship, a hug just might show him how much you care.
Hugs release oxytocin, a hormone that is known to reduce stress and increase the sense of trust and security.If a hug isn't your guys' thing, a pat on the back or throwing an arm around his shoulder might do the trick.
If physical touch isn't normally exchanged between the two of you, show your concern in verbal ways like listening or asking how you can help. -
Step 3: Refrain from judging
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Step 4: criticizing or blaming.
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Step 5: Be hopeful.Feeling depressed and suicidal can be the equivalent of having a stormy gray cloud overhead that doesn't seem to ever leave.
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Step 6: Offer physical touch.
Detailed Guide
It may seem obvious to pose such a question, but doing so shows your genuine concern and commitment to helping your sibling get better.
Professional help is required to help your sibling overcome whatever he's feeling.
However, there may be something you can do immediately to make him more comfortable or temporarily distract him from upsetting thoughts or feelings.
Approach your sibling and say, "You haven't seemed like yourself lately.
What can I do to support you better?"
Simply listening to your sibling vent her frustrations or fears may offer her some level of comfort.
Rushing to reassure or dismiss without hearing the person's full story is a common mistake made by friends and loved ones of suicidal persons.Pull up a chair and find a quiet place for the two of you to go so that she can express what she's feeling.
Actively listen by:
Asking open-ended questions: "What happened to make you feel this way?" or "How long have you been feeling this way?" Summarizing what the person said: "So, you've been feeling pretty bad ever since you dropped out of college." Reflecting, or repeating a word back:
Your sibling says, "Yes, I've felt just lost in my life since then." You can reflect by repeating, "Lost..." to encourage her to continue.
Clarifying points that the person skirts over: "Tell me more about that" Reacting to the message: "You have really been having a tough time.
I appreciate you sharing your feelings with me."
Becoming angry because he wants to take his life, blaming yourself or your parents for how he feels, or chastising him for breaking moral or religious principles will only lead to your sibling retreating further into himself and pushing you out.
Leave your own ego and agenda at the door.
Being a source of support means putting aside any differences of opinion to show genuine concern for this person.
If you have the urge to state a judgment, such as "Oh, that's what bothering you?"
just don't say anything at all.
Practice your active listening skills and be present for your sibling.
You might say something like, "We all think or feel things we aren't proud of.
I won't judge you for what you think or how you feel."
Give your sibling a small ray of sunshine by demonstrating your belief in her and hope for the future.
You might say something like: "I know it seems hard, but you can feel better with professional help." "It may not look like it today, but these feelings are only temporary." "You are not alone." "Your life is important to me.
Whatever it takes, I will help you through this."
If you and your sibling generally have a touchy-feely sort of relationship, a hug just might show him how much you care.
Hugs release oxytocin, a hormone that is known to reduce stress and increase the sense of trust and security.If a hug isn't your guys' thing, a pat on the back or throwing an arm around his shoulder might do the trick.
If physical touch isn't normally exchanged between the two of you, show your concern in verbal ways like listening or asking how you can help.
About the Author
Lori Webb
Specializes in breaking down complex crafts topics into simple steps.
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