How to Help Your Child Deal with Cliques
Find out more about the clique., Don’t automatically reject your child being in a clique., Help your child extend their peer group., Support your child’s individuality., Encourage your child to use their leadership skills for good., Keep an eye out...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Find out more about the clique.
If your child is in a clique, find out who else is in it.
Ask your child, “Who is in your group of friends?” Get as much information as possible.
Other questions you might have include:
Is there a clique leader? How long have you been participating in the clique? What do you and your clique do together? -
Step 2: Don’t automatically reject your child being in a clique.
It is normal and natural for children to show preferences for friends or certain types of other people with whom they get along.
Cliques can help your child develop a sense of self-worth and self-confidence.
In a clique of friends, your child may feel protected and accepted for who they are.Understand that your child wants to feel accepted.
A clique is often the solution to this predicament., If your child only spends time with their clique, their ability to make new friends might suffer, and they will not be exposed to as diverse a range of attitudes and lifestyles as possible.
They might also feel more obligated to engage in cliquish behavior when they don’t have any friends outside their clique.To help your child branch out and meet all the friends they possibly can, encourage your child to sign up for various extracurricular activities such as sports, plays, chess or game clubs, and so on.
For instance, you could help your child enlist in community-sponsored athletic programs.
Contact your local community activity board or recreational department for more information about children’s programs in your area. , Cliques – for good or ill – tend to impose a conformity of dress, attitude, or behavior on their members.
In order to help your child maintain their sense of self, provide positive feedback to your child on a regular basis.
For instance, you could say to your child:“I like you just the way you are.” ”It’s okay for you to do things differently than other people do.””I like when you are kind and polite to others.” , If your child is the clique leader – or even if they are not – you should help them find a voice in the clique, especially if you suspect that they might be led astray by a bad clique leader.
For instance, you could tell your child, “Your friends in the clique will admire you for having the courage to do the right thing and treat others kindly.”Help your child empathize with others by reminding them of the time before they were surrounded by a clique, or encouraging them to do volunteer work or even just to do kind things for friends and family members as a way to foster compassion.
This will help your child see themselves in others who do not currently have a clique, and make your child more inclined to treat others kindly. , Cliques are often a locus for bullying behavior.
Children within the clique might encourage and reinforce each other’s bullying.
Decide what consequences you think would be appropriate as punishment for bullying behaviors.
Be sure to keep an eye out for this behavior, which may include:verbal threats or name-calling physical attacks (kicking, pushing, hitting) taunting (making faces or obscene gestures) starting rumors , People often conform to the behaviors and attitudes of those around them.
If your child is getting involved with other children who could have a negative influence on them, or if you have evidence that your child is actually engaging in negative behaviors, discourage them from spending time with the clique.Ideally, you will never have to discourage your child from spending time with a particular individual or a clique of friends.
Make sure to have discussions about what makes someone a good person and a good friend.
This will better enable your child to decide for themselves when they meet people.
However, if your child’s clique is getting them in trouble, you might have to ask them to find new friends.
There are many ways to discourage your child from participating in the clique.
For instance, you could say, “I’d feel more comfortable if you didn’t spend time with that group of friends.” Get third parties involved, too, such as faith leaders, school guidance counselors, or trusted family friends.Tell them about your child’s clique and recruit them into your effort to discourage your child from participating in the clique.
If your child is unresponsive to your initial overtures in discouraging them, take a more authoritative stance.
Say, “I forbid you from spending time with that group of friends” or inform them that you will be revoking certain privileges until they stop spending time with the clique. -
Step 3: Help your child extend their peer group.
-
Step 4: Support your child’s individuality.
-
Step 5: Encourage your child to use their leadership skills for good.
-
Step 6: Keep an eye out for bullying.
-
Step 7: Discourage your child from participating if necessary.
Detailed Guide
If your child is in a clique, find out who else is in it.
Ask your child, “Who is in your group of friends?” Get as much information as possible.
Other questions you might have include:
Is there a clique leader? How long have you been participating in the clique? What do you and your clique do together?
It is normal and natural for children to show preferences for friends or certain types of other people with whom they get along.
Cliques can help your child develop a sense of self-worth and self-confidence.
In a clique of friends, your child may feel protected and accepted for who they are.Understand that your child wants to feel accepted.
A clique is often the solution to this predicament., If your child only spends time with their clique, their ability to make new friends might suffer, and they will not be exposed to as diverse a range of attitudes and lifestyles as possible.
They might also feel more obligated to engage in cliquish behavior when they don’t have any friends outside their clique.To help your child branch out and meet all the friends they possibly can, encourage your child to sign up for various extracurricular activities such as sports, plays, chess or game clubs, and so on.
For instance, you could help your child enlist in community-sponsored athletic programs.
Contact your local community activity board or recreational department for more information about children’s programs in your area. , Cliques – for good or ill – tend to impose a conformity of dress, attitude, or behavior on their members.
In order to help your child maintain their sense of self, provide positive feedback to your child on a regular basis.
For instance, you could say to your child:“I like you just the way you are.” ”It’s okay for you to do things differently than other people do.””I like when you are kind and polite to others.” , If your child is the clique leader – or even if they are not – you should help them find a voice in the clique, especially if you suspect that they might be led astray by a bad clique leader.
For instance, you could tell your child, “Your friends in the clique will admire you for having the courage to do the right thing and treat others kindly.”Help your child empathize with others by reminding them of the time before they were surrounded by a clique, or encouraging them to do volunteer work or even just to do kind things for friends and family members as a way to foster compassion.
This will help your child see themselves in others who do not currently have a clique, and make your child more inclined to treat others kindly. , Cliques are often a locus for bullying behavior.
Children within the clique might encourage and reinforce each other’s bullying.
Decide what consequences you think would be appropriate as punishment for bullying behaviors.
Be sure to keep an eye out for this behavior, which may include:verbal threats or name-calling physical attacks (kicking, pushing, hitting) taunting (making faces or obscene gestures) starting rumors , People often conform to the behaviors and attitudes of those around them.
If your child is getting involved with other children who could have a negative influence on them, or if you have evidence that your child is actually engaging in negative behaviors, discourage them from spending time with the clique.Ideally, you will never have to discourage your child from spending time with a particular individual or a clique of friends.
Make sure to have discussions about what makes someone a good person and a good friend.
This will better enable your child to decide for themselves when they meet people.
However, if your child’s clique is getting them in trouble, you might have to ask them to find new friends.
There are many ways to discourage your child from participating in the clique.
For instance, you could say, “I’d feel more comfortable if you didn’t spend time with that group of friends.” Get third parties involved, too, such as faith leaders, school guidance counselors, or trusted family friends.Tell them about your child’s clique and recruit them into your effort to discourage your child from participating in the clique.
If your child is unresponsive to your initial overtures in discouraging them, take a more authoritative stance.
Say, “I forbid you from spending time with that group of friends” or inform them that you will be revoking certain privileges until they stop spending time with the clique.
About the Author
Joshua Edwards
With a background in lawenforcement security, Joshua Edwards brings 11 years of hands-on experience to every article. Joshua believes in making complex topics accessible to everyone.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: