How to Live with Your College Kid over Summer Break
Make a list of possible conflicts., Show your kid the list., Make a compromise., Post the rules.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Make a list of possible conflicts.
Examples of issues that are possible sources of tension are use of the car, curfews, food, cleanliness/household responsibilities, money, working and rules for inviting people over.
Sit down and make a list of issues to discuss.
Next to each item, write down what you are willing to negotiate.For example, you could write, “Curfew: you don’t have to have a curfew, but I expect you to tell me where you are and what time you plan on being home.” -
Step 2: Show your kid the list.
Do this within the first week of your kid’s arrival.
Once they are settled in, sit down with your kid to explain the list to them.
Give them time to look over it.
Encourage them to write down what they are willing to negotiate and to add any new items they can think of.For example, you may want a 1 a.m. curfew, but your kid may point out that they are used to not having one and do not think they should have one just because they are home. , Go over the updated list with your kid.
When there is a disagreement about a rule, try to be flexible.
Remember, if you try to enforce old high school rules on your kid, then they are more likely to resist.
Try to come to an agreement that you and your kid are both satisfied with.For example, if they disagree with the idea of having a curfew, then compromise by telling them that they must check in with you to let you know where they are and what time they will be home. , Do this once you and your kid have come to an agreement about the rules.
Type them up and post them somewhere visible, or give them a copy.
This way, no one can say, “I didn’t agree to that.”You may need to update the rules as the summer progresses and new situations arise. -
Step 3: Make a compromise.
-
Step 4: Post the rules.
Detailed Guide
Examples of issues that are possible sources of tension are use of the car, curfews, food, cleanliness/household responsibilities, money, working and rules for inviting people over.
Sit down and make a list of issues to discuss.
Next to each item, write down what you are willing to negotiate.For example, you could write, “Curfew: you don’t have to have a curfew, but I expect you to tell me where you are and what time you plan on being home.”
Do this within the first week of your kid’s arrival.
Once they are settled in, sit down with your kid to explain the list to them.
Give them time to look over it.
Encourage them to write down what they are willing to negotiate and to add any new items they can think of.For example, you may want a 1 a.m. curfew, but your kid may point out that they are used to not having one and do not think they should have one just because they are home. , Go over the updated list with your kid.
When there is a disagreement about a rule, try to be flexible.
Remember, if you try to enforce old high school rules on your kid, then they are more likely to resist.
Try to come to an agreement that you and your kid are both satisfied with.For example, if they disagree with the idea of having a curfew, then compromise by telling them that they must check in with you to let you know where they are and what time they will be home. , Do this once you and your kid have come to an agreement about the rules.
Type them up and post them somewhere visible, or give them a copy.
This way, no one can say, “I didn’t agree to that.”You may need to update the rules as the summer progresses and new situations arise.
About the Author
Douglas White
Writer and educator with a focus on practical pet care knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: