How to Praise a Child
Focus your statements on the child's actions and efforts rather than characteristics., Try to engage in discussion rather than use evaluative praise., Praise good behavior., Praise small improvements.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Focus your statements on the child's actions and efforts rather than characteristics.
It's better to say something like, "I can tell you worked really hard on that," instead of, "You're so smart." Studies have shown that when children are praised for their efforts and later encountered difficult problems where they faced the possibility of failure they tended to work harder and kept trying.
The same studies showed that when children were told something like how smart they were but later encountered a difficult problem with the possibility of failure they gave up.
The children who were praised for being smart quit working because they didn't want to risk losing approval for not being able to complete a task. , A good example is children's art work.
Rather than just say a picture is pretty, ask the child to tell you about it.
This does a couple of things.
Rather than having a brief interaction, you're now spending some quality time with your child.
You may gain some insight into things that are important to your child by listening to things they are describing.
You're also fostering important brain development by having your child describe things to you.
Whether the child is 3 or 13, this type of interaction is meaningful.
You're building your child's self esteem when you show them they're important enough to listen to., When a child does something you like, acknowledge it. "I really appreciate how you made your bed today."
Everyone learns by trial and error.
Sometimes you may be working on improving a behavior.
Praising steps in the right direction gives encouragement to keep trying. -
Step 2: Try to engage in discussion rather than use evaluative praise.
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Step 3: Praise good behavior.
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Step 4: Praise small improvements.
Detailed Guide
It's better to say something like, "I can tell you worked really hard on that," instead of, "You're so smart." Studies have shown that when children are praised for their efforts and later encountered difficult problems where they faced the possibility of failure they tended to work harder and kept trying.
The same studies showed that when children were told something like how smart they were but later encountered a difficult problem with the possibility of failure they gave up.
The children who were praised for being smart quit working because they didn't want to risk losing approval for not being able to complete a task. , A good example is children's art work.
Rather than just say a picture is pretty, ask the child to tell you about it.
This does a couple of things.
Rather than having a brief interaction, you're now spending some quality time with your child.
You may gain some insight into things that are important to your child by listening to things they are describing.
You're also fostering important brain development by having your child describe things to you.
Whether the child is 3 or 13, this type of interaction is meaningful.
You're building your child's self esteem when you show them they're important enough to listen to., When a child does something you like, acknowledge it. "I really appreciate how you made your bed today."
Everyone learns by trial and error.
Sometimes you may be working on improving a behavior.
Praising steps in the right direction gives encouragement to keep trying.
About the Author
Timothy Carter
Specializes in breaking down complex lifestyle topics into simple steps.
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