How to Prevent and Work Out Problems with a Sibling
Spend more time with your siblings., Avoid criticizing or making comments that could offend your siblings., Express love., Do things to show that you care., Remind yourself about your plans.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Spend more time with your siblings.
It may sound silly, but in reality, it is a great boost for your relationship, which can help prevent a fight or argument.
If being around your siblings for even a short amount of time is hard for you, try starting with something simple, like chatting before you leave for school, or sitting by them at dinner. If you're ready for something big, however, you can set aside 20 minutes or an hour a day with them.
When spending time with your siblings, make it all about them. Don't talk about you, instead ask them sincere questions about their art project, or how their math test at school went.
It's important to decide whether or not you want to specifically tell them that you're working on improving this relationship. If you think they are likely to protest or be offended by this, it's probably a good idea not to say anything. But if your siblings whine or complain about the amount of time you spend with them, you may want to let them know that you are making a conscious effort to do better.
Try to have both times that you spend with individual siblings, and times you spend with all of them. If you worry that your siblings will fight and ruin your quality time together, however, it may be a good idea to start with just individual time. Keep in mind, though, that by having good times with your siblings all together, you may set a good example for them. -
Step 2: Avoid criticizing or making comments that could offend your siblings.
Before you speak, analyze what you're about to say, and make sure that it doesn't have a high probability of hurting someone's feelings.
If you have continual problems with saying hurtful things, try being quiet for 60 seconds to let your brain calm down.
When you say something rude, stop and apologize.
Every time you think something you wouldn't want to say out loud, tell yourself to stop.
Do not interrupt a sibling. , Try to say at least one nice thing a day to your siblings. If you're ready for more, try saying 10 nice things, or one nice thing every time you meet.
Make sure to compliment them, but be wary of saying "I like/love you because..." This can make it seem that you will only appreciate them if they continue to do or be something.
Write notes, signed or anonymous, that let your siblings know how you feel about them.
Expressions of love can be as simple as "Nice shirt," "Good job," or even "Hey, how's it going?"
Make a sibling's bed or clean their room.
Do a sibling's chores.
Give them a turn on something you're using (the phone, a game, a certain toy, etc.) Let them have part of your dessert.
Agree to a certain activity with a sibling who really enjoys it. , Different things work for different people. Here are some ideas:
Wear a special bracelet or tie a rubber band around your finger to remind yourself to be kind.
Every morning, stand in front of the mirror and say, "I will be kind to my siblings today," Write down a few things you are going to do each evening or morning.
Tape a note or homemade poster to your bedroom door or inside your school locker.
Tell someone you trust about your plans.
Constantly think good things about your siblings. -
Step 3: Express love.
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Step 4: Do things to show that you care.
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Step 5: Remind yourself about your plans.
Detailed Guide
It may sound silly, but in reality, it is a great boost for your relationship, which can help prevent a fight or argument.
If being around your siblings for even a short amount of time is hard for you, try starting with something simple, like chatting before you leave for school, or sitting by them at dinner. If you're ready for something big, however, you can set aside 20 minutes or an hour a day with them.
When spending time with your siblings, make it all about them. Don't talk about you, instead ask them sincere questions about their art project, or how their math test at school went.
It's important to decide whether or not you want to specifically tell them that you're working on improving this relationship. If you think they are likely to protest or be offended by this, it's probably a good idea not to say anything. But if your siblings whine or complain about the amount of time you spend with them, you may want to let them know that you are making a conscious effort to do better.
Try to have both times that you spend with individual siblings, and times you spend with all of them. If you worry that your siblings will fight and ruin your quality time together, however, it may be a good idea to start with just individual time. Keep in mind, though, that by having good times with your siblings all together, you may set a good example for them.
Before you speak, analyze what you're about to say, and make sure that it doesn't have a high probability of hurting someone's feelings.
If you have continual problems with saying hurtful things, try being quiet for 60 seconds to let your brain calm down.
When you say something rude, stop and apologize.
Every time you think something you wouldn't want to say out loud, tell yourself to stop.
Do not interrupt a sibling. , Try to say at least one nice thing a day to your siblings. If you're ready for more, try saying 10 nice things, or one nice thing every time you meet.
Make sure to compliment them, but be wary of saying "I like/love you because..." This can make it seem that you will only appreciate them if they continue to do or be something.
Write notes, signed or anonymous, that let your siblings know how you feel about them.
Expressions of love can be as simple as "Nice shirt," "Good job," or even "Hey, how's it going?"
Make a sibling's bed or clean their room.
Do a sibling's chores.
Give them a turn on something you're using (the phone, a game, a certain toy, etc.) Let them have part of your dessert.
Agree to a certain activity with a sibling who really enjoys it. , Different things work for different people. Here are some ideas:
Wear a special bracelet or tie a rubber band around your finger to remind yourself to be kind.
Every morning, stand in front of the mirror and say, "I will be kind to my siblings today," Write down a few things you are going to do each evening or morning.
Tape a note or homemade poster to your bedroom door or inside your school locker.
Tell someone you trust about your plans.
Constantly think good things about your siblings.
About the Author
Raymond Butler
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
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