How to Raise Children Who Think for Themselves
Demonstrate with your own behavior how to make choices., Allow your children time to play freely., Give your children small choices., Avoid criticizing the choices your children make., Refrain from making judgments or offering unsolicited opinions...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Demonstrate with your own behavior how to make choices.
You can teach your children to think for themselves by showing them at every possible opportunity how you make decisions.
Stand behind the choices you make, and express your reasons for making them, which will help them understand why you chose the way you did. -
Step 2: Allow your children time to play freely.
Unobstructed play is crucial to raising children to think for themselves and for the children's development because it forces them to decide what to play with and how.
These first decisions are building blocks for independent thinking. , Ask them to pick between 2 or 3 outfits, and no matter what they choose, let them wear it.
As you build up their confidence with these smaller decisions, ease in to larger choices, such as what to have for dinner, or ask their input on where to go for vacation. , This is a form of second guessing and may make your children feel badly about their decision.
It may also cause them to be insecure about the next decision they need to make. , If they hear your thoughts or advice, they may feel as if they need someone else to tell them what to think or feel.
Instead, ask them what they think about the situation, and what they believe the choices are.
Encourage them to talk about what decision they want to make and why. , Helping them understand why rules are in place will encourage children to decide to follow them. , Make sure to keep your message short and simple.
In 2 or 3 sentences only, inform them which actions you are disappointed with and why, and what the consequences are.
Use simple wording whenever possible to make it easier for your children to concentrate on their actions. , Refrain from telling them they are bad or wrong, and use phrases like "your behavior is out of line" instead.
This prevents children from feeling personally attacked, and helps them understand that it's their actions you are unhappy with, not them. , Your children need to learn that there are consequences for their actions and that making the wrong choice will lead to an appropriate punishment. , Using rewards or threats to influence their decisions will send a message that they aren't capable of making good choices without external incentives. , Once you've laid the groundwork, give them room to actually make choices, and don't interfere unless there is imminent danger.
They'll make good and bad decisions along the way, but in order to get better at the process, they need to have the freedom to do so. -
Step 3: Give your children small choices.
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Step 4: Avoid criticizing the choices your children make.
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Step 5: Refrain from making judgments or offering unsolicited opinions about situations your children find themselves in.
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Step 6: Explain any rules that exist in your home or their school.
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Step 7: Discipline your children when they make a poor choice.
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Step 8: Focus on the bad decision or behavior when disciplining
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Step 9: and not the children themselves.
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Step 10: Follow through on discipline.
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Step 11: Refrain from threatening or bribing your children.
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Step 12: Trust your children
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Step 13: and respect their right to decide on their own.
Detailed Guide
You can teach your children to think for themselves by showing them at every possible opportunity how you make decisions.
Stand behind the choices you make, and express your reasons for making them, which will help them understand why you chose the way you did.
Unobstructed play is crucial to raising children to think for themselves and for the children's development because it forces them to decide what to play with and how.
These first decisions are building blocks for independent thinking. , Ask them to pick between 2 or 3 outfits, and no matter what they choose, let them wear it.
As you build up their confidence with these smaller decisions, ease in to larger choices, such as what to have for dinner, or ask their input on where to go for vacation. , This is a form of second guessing and may make your children feel badly about their decision.
It may also cause them to be insecure about the next decision they need to make. , If they hear your thoughts or advice, they may feel as if they need someone else to tell them what to think or feel.
Instead, ask them what they think about the situation, and what they believe the choices are.
Encourage them to talk about what decision they want to make and why. , Helping them understand why rules are in place will encourage children to decide to follow them. , Make sure to keep your message short and simple.
In 2 or 3 sentences only, inform them which actions you are disappointed with and why, and what the consequences are.
Use simple wording whenever possible to make it easier for your children to concentrate on their actions. , Refrain from telling them they are bad or wrong, and use phrases like "your behavior is out of line" instead.
This prevents children from feeling personally attacked, and helps them understand that it's their actions you are unhappy with, not them. , Your children need to learn that there are consequences for their actions and that making the wrong choice will lead to an appropriate punishment. , Using rewards or threats to influence their decisions will send a message that they aren't capable of making good choices without external incentives. , Once you've laid the groundwork, give them room to actually make choices, and don't interfere unless there is imminent danger.
They'll make good and bad decisions along the way, but in order to get better at the process, they need to have the freedom to do so.
About the Author
Ann Myers
Ann Myers has dedicated 3 years to mastering education and learning. As a content creator, Ann focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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