How to React if Your Friend's Baby Has Down Syndrome

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Remember that Down Syndrome is a disability

   Your friend still has a new baby, and you still have an opportunity to celebrate new life.
2. 2

   Step 2: not a tragedy.

   These are not very helpful, and often carry insulting implications about the baby.
   
   Focus on the baby as an individual, or when using generalizations, generalize about all babies (not babies with Down Syndrome).
   
   There's no need to pity them. ("I'm so sorry," "God has given you this burden," "You must be saints," etc.) Positive stereotypes are also unhelpful. ("They're such happy children," "They're so loving," "God has given you a child forever," etc.) Don't ask if the baby is high-functioning.
   
   It's rude to put disabled people in boxes; even more so when they are newborns. , They may be worried about raising the child appropriately, handling health issues (heart and eye problems are common), and helping the child feel happy and supported.
   
   Tell them that they're going to be great parents.
   
   This will help them believe it. , After all, they have a new baby.
   
   Statements of congratulations will convey acceptance, which is very important to the new parents.
   
   They will also love any gifts you can bring.
   
   Here are some examples:
   Flowers (with a "new baby" theme, not an "I'm sorry" theme) A cute outfit Balloons A stuffed animal Baby accessories (e.g. a mobile, storybooks, pacifiers) , Talk about how beautiful she is, and note any similarities to the parents. ("He has your nose." "She has your hair.") Parents love to hear about similarities between their baby and themselves.
   
   Don't be afraid to ask to hold her. , Parents are probably reading everything they can about Down Syndrome, caring for any health complications the baby has, in addition to facing the normal challenges of a newborn baby.
   
   If you offer a specific form of help, they can relax a little more.
   
   It's best to give a concrete example of what you can do, since parents may be too out of it to answer "What can I do to help?" "I'll be bringing a meal on Sunday around six o' clock." "I can take his sisters out for pizza and a movie on Saturday afternoon." "The kids and I can come clean the house.
   
   Which day is best?" "I'll pick up the kids from school on Monday." "I can come with you to the hospital."
   
   Try reading a book and looking on the internet for articles.
   
   It shows that you care. , Let them talk and just listen.
   
   Many of us are so ready with our advice and clichés we don't really hear what the parents are saying.
3. 3

   Step 3: Avoid cliches and stereotypes.

4. 4

   Step 4: Encourage the new parents.

5. 5

   Step 5: Congratulate the new parents!

6. 6

   Step 6: Compliment the baby.

7. 7

   Step 7: Offer tangible help.

8. 8

   Step 8: Learn about Down Syndrome.

9. 9

   Step 9: Listen.

Detailed Guide

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