How to Stop Aggressive Toddler Behavior
Remain calm., Respond quickly and simply., Acknowledge your child’s feelings., Back up your words with actions.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Remain calm.
If your child is acting out in an aggressive way, stay calm.
Don’t get angry, yell, or act in an aggressive way to the child.
Remaining calm will help your child calm more quickly.
If you get upset, that will feed your child’s aggression and make things worse.Your child relies on you for stability, especially when they are upset.
Often, the child is aggressive because they are upset or feel out of control.
Staying calm will help communicate to your child everything is okay.
To stay calm, take a few deep breaths.
Inhale and count to 10 before responding.
Remind yourself that your child is learning how to control their emotions. -
Step 2: Respond quickly and simply.
When your child acts out, don’t respond in a dramatic or over-the-top way.
Don’t give your child too much attention when they act aggressively.This may feed into your child’s aggression and emotions.
Instead, respond quickly and efficiently.
Keep your words straight to the point, and try to redirect your child’s actions.
If that doesn’t work, take them away from the situation.Trying to talk to your child and giving them a lot of attention if they are aggressive or throwing a tantrum may reinforce negative behavior.
For example, if your child is biting another child, say in a firm tone, “No, you don’t bite people.
Biting hurts.” Toddlers will probably hit, bite, or act out multiple times, so remember to repeat your point over and over until they understand.
To redirect your child, after you have corrected the behavior, try saying, "Why don't we go down the slide?" or, "Pick up your doll and let's continue playing."
Your child acts in an aggressive way because they are angry or upset about something.
When they act in this manner, acknowledge their feelings; however, you should follow this up with how aggressive behavior is not an appropriate response to their feelings.For example, if your toddler gets angry, you can say, “I understand that you are angry because the other kid took your toy, but hitting someone is not okay;” or, “I know you are upset because we have to leave when you want to play, but you cannot kick and scream.” , When you correct your toddler’s aggressive behavior, use an authoritative, strong tone.
Sometimes, words may not be enough with a toddler.
Use actions along with your words to get your point across.For example, when you tell your toddler to stop hitting or snatching, hold their arm in place to emphasize they aren’t supposed to use their hands.
Make sure to be firm and authoritative, but not angry or aggressive.
This may take many repetitions before your child corrects the behavior. -
Step 3: Acknowledge your child’s feelings.
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Step 4: Back up your words with actions.
Detailed Guide
If your child is acting out in an aggressive way, stay calm.
Don’t get angry, yell, or act in an aggressive way to the child.
Remaining calm will help your child calm more quickly.
If you get upset, that will feed your child’s aggression and make things worse.Your child relies on you for stability, especially when they are upset.
Often, the child is aggressive because they are upset or feel out of control.
Staying calm will help communicate to your child everything is okay.
To stay calm, take a few deep breaths.
Inhale and count to 10 before responding.
Remind yourself that your child is learning how to control their emotions.
When your child acts out, don’t respond in a dramatic or over-the-top way.
Don’t give your child too much attention when they act aggressively.This may feed into your child’s aggression and emotions.
Instead, respond quickly and efficiently.
Keep your words straight to the point, and try to redirect your child’s actions.
If that doesn’t work, take them away from the situation.Trying to talk to your child and giving them a lot of attention if they are aggressive or throwing a tantrum may reinforce negative behavior.
For example, if your child is biting another child, say in a firm tone, “No, you don’t bite people.
Biting hurts.” Toddlers will probably hit, bite, or act out multiple times, so remember to repeat your point over and over until they understand.
To redirect your child, after you have corrected the behavior, try saying, "Why don't we go down the slide?" or, "Pick up your doll and let's continue playing."
Your child acts in an aggressive way because they are angry or upset about something.
When they act in this manner, acknowledge their feelings; however, you should follow this up with how aggressive behavior is not an appropriate response to their feelings.For example, if your toddler gets angry, you can say, “I understand that you are angry because the other kid took your toy, but hitting someone is not okay;” or, “I know you are upset because we have to leave when you want to play, but you cannot kick and scream.” , When you correct your toddler’s aggressive behavior, use an authoritative, strong tone.
Sometimes, words may not be enough with a toddler.
Use actions along with your words to get your point across.For example, when you tell your toddler to stop hitting or snatching, hold their arm in place to emphasize they aren’t supposed to use their hands.
Make sure to be firm and authoritative, but not angry or aggressive.
This may take many repetitions before your child corrects the behavior.
About the Author
Matthew Evans
Committed to making lifestyle accessible and understandable for everyone.
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