How to Stop Being Called a Child
Examine other people’s motivations., Keep your cool., Convince your family you’re not a child., Take on new responsibilities., Treat others with respect., React with maturity., Set goals for yourself., Consider volunteering your time.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Examine other people’s motivations.
When somebody calls you a child, think about why they said it.
Is it your physical appearance? Did you do something that would cause them to say it? Knowing why people perceive you as a child can help you work on looking and acting more mature.
If you can't identify a reason, ask the person politely why they called you a child.
Don't get angry with them.
Tell them that you are trying to act more grown up, and ask for advice.
Say something like, “I know I’m younger than you are, but I’m trying to be more responsible and mature.
Can you tell me why you still consider me a child?” If you think you do know why someone called you a child, ask them to verify this.
You may have assumed the wrong thing.
Say something like, “Do you still consider me a child because of my age/appearance/way of talking?” The person who thinks of you as a child may not be willing or able to offer you an explanation.
Don’t let this bother you.
Keep acting mature, and eventually, these people will see that you aren’t a child.The motivation for calling you a child may not have anything to do with you personally.
They could be jealous, insecure, or want to hurt your feelings for other reasons. -
Step 2: Keep your cool.
Don't yell, cry, or otherwise react emotionally to someone calling you a child.
This will make you look even more like a child to them.
If you are mad, walk away, or if you think you can do so calmly, explain to them what bothered you.
Think about whether it is worth potentially having an argument.
In most cases, the best way to prove the person who considers you a child wrong is to not let their behavior bother you.Tears cannot always be helped.
If you feel them coming on, excuse yourself.
Step outside or to a quiet place to compose yourself.
If you cannot walk away because you are at work or school, take some deep breaths.
Try to change the subject.
If you're still upset later, you can revisit the issue with the other person when you are feeling calmer. , Possibly the most difficult people to prove your maturity to are those who see you on a daily basis.
Your parents, siblings, and other family members may have known you your entire life, and it’s often just as difficult for them to start considering you as an adult as it is for you to accept them treating you like a child.
That’s no reason to give up on acting more mature.
Eventually, even your closest family members will see you as an adult.
Your parents may be the most difficult to convince you’re growing up.
To them, you’ll always be their child, but your parents likely want you to be happy and more mature.
Let them know how you feel about being called a child.
Say something like, “I want to start acting more like an adult.
It hurts my feelings when you call me a child.
What can I do to make you think of me as an adult?” Older brothers or sisters may also see you as still being just a child, and it can be difficult to get away from them since you’ll likely see them every day.
This makes it even more important for you to remain calm.
The best way to convince older brothers and sisters you’re not a child is to ignore them when they call you one.
Don’t argue with your siblings about being a grown up.
Just keep acting like one.
They’ll come around.You can give evidence of why you think you are no longer a child.
This can help convince your family to change their view of you.
For example, you might say, "I have a job and pay all of my own bills and rent.
I think that means I should be considered an adult now."
Start by making sure you’re being responsible with all of your current activities.
Don't forget to do your homework.
If you're in a play, don't forget your script.
Remember your clothes for dance lessons after class.
If you’re already keeping up with all of your current responsibilities, consider taking on some additional responsibilities to show people you’re not just a child.
This can include volunteering for a leadership position in a club or organization you belong to, doing more to help around the house, or getting a part-time job.
Don’t over extend yourself.
Take on one new responsibility at a time, and once you’re sure you have it under control, you can consider other new responsibilities.
Choose new responsibilities that you care about.
It will make the added work easier.
For instance, if you enjoy theatre, volunteer to work as a stage manager.
You may want to select responsibilities that contribute towards long-term goals.
For instance, volunteer or find an internship in your field or industry.
Do whatever you can to not only complete your new responsibilities, but to go above and beyond to show you are committed.
For example, if you need an event plan for a club you’re in charge of in place by next Friday, get it done this Friday., Even if you feel disrespected, treat other people with kindness and understanding.
It may not always be easy when people are treating you like a child, but showing others respect, even when it’s unearned, is an important part of being an adult.
Treating others with respect can be as simple as remembering not to demand or expect things from other people.
Instead, ask for them, and say thank you.
Start small.
Say please and thank you.
These are two of the easiest ways to show your respect for others.
Say things like, “Please pass the salt,” instead of, “pass the salt.” By adding please, you are asking instead of demanding.
Always say thank you, if someone responds to your request.
Recognize other people are busy by saying something like, “I know you have a lot going on right now, but I would like to see a movie this weekend and could use a ride.” To express your gratitude, you can offer to do something in return.
Say, “I’m sorry,” if you upset someone.
Don’t get defensive and argue.
Instead, say, “I’m sorry I upset you.
I didn’t mean to.”, For example, when you get a present you hate, don't make it obvious.
Say thank you and put it aside.
Keep it simple.
If you get an ugly sweater for your birthday, say, "Oh thank you, it looks really warm." That's all.
Don’t go on about how you can’t wait to wear it, as this may come back to haunt you when you have to wear the sweater every time you see the gift giver.
If you receive a grade you’re not happy with, don’t storm straight up to your teacher’s desk and demand a better grade.
Instead, take at least 24 hours, review any notes your teacher made, and calmly ask your teacher, “I was really surprised by my grade.
Can we talk about it, so I can do better next time?”, One thing that many adults do that young people don’t is consider where they will be in a year, five years, ten years, etc.
Consider long term goals and set achievable tasks that help you get there.
This will show people in your life that you are serious about being more mature and making more adult decisions.
Start small and build your way up to more advanced or long term life goals.
Make a list of things you can accomplish in a day, a week, a month, etc., and keep track of your progress.
If you always procrastinate your assignments in class until the last minute, set a goal to finish your task a week early.
Create calendar reminders or ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable.
If you want to attend a specific college, start finding out as much as you can about the college right away.
Look up their application requirements, talk to a guidance counselor, and set up interviews at the school.Share your progress and accomplishments with family and friends along the way.
This can help boost your confidence and motivation.
It can also help others respect you more, which may help them see you as an adult.
When sharing these accomplishments, try not to brag. , Sometimes, working with others to achieve a goal or improve your community will help you better understand what you need to do to improve as an individual.
This may seem strange, but getting outside of your own head and seeing the big picture is a great way to think and act more like an adult.If you are unable to volunteer for a charity or institution, you can make a difference by offering to help someone in your life.
Try to give advice regarding things you have expertise, experience, or wisdom in. -
Step 3: Convince your family you’re not a child.
-
Step 4: Take on new responsibilities.
-
Step 5: Treat others with respect.
-
Step 6: React with maturity.
-
Step 7: Set goals for yourself.
-
Step 8: Consider volunteering your time.
Detailed Guide
When somebody calls you a child, think about why they said it.
Is it your physical appearance? Did you do something that would cause them to say it? Knowing why people perceive you as a child can help you work on looking and acting more mature.
If you can't identify a reason, ask the person politely why they called you a child.
Don't get angry with them.
Tell them that you are trying to act more grown up, and ask for advice.
Say something like, “I know I’m younger than you are, but I’m trying to be more responsible and mature.
Can you tell me why you still consider me a child?” If you think you do know why someone called you a child, ask them to verify this.
You may have assumed the wrong thing.
Say something like, “Do you still consider me a child because of my age/appearance/way of talking?” The person who thinks of you as a child may not be willing or able to offer you an explanation.
Don’t let this bother you.
Keep acting mature, and eventually, these people will see that you aren’t a child.The motivation for calling you a child may not have anything to do with you personally.
They could be jealous, insecure, or want to hurt your feelings for other reasons.
Don't yell, cry, or otherwise react emotionally to someone calling you a child.
This will make you look even more like a child to them.
If you are mad, walk away, or if you think you can do so calmly, explain to them what bothered you.
Think about whether it is worth potentially having an argument.
In most cases, the best way to prove the person who considers you a child wrong is to not let their behavior bother you.Tears cannot always be helped.
If you feel them coming on, excuse yourself.
Step outside or to a quiet place to compose yourself.
If you cannot walk away because you are at work or school, take some deep breaths.
Try to change the subject.
If you're still upset later, you can revisit the issue with the other person when you are feeling calmer. , Possibly the most difficult people to prove your maturity to are those who see you on a daily basis.
Your parents, siblings, and other family members may have known you your entire life, and it’s often just as difficult for them to start considering you as an adult as it is for you to accept them treating you like a child.
That’s no reason to give up on acting more mature.
Eventually, even your closest family members will see you as an adult.
Your parents may be the most difficult to convince you’re growing up.
To them, you’ll always be their child, but your parents likely want you to be happy and more mature.
Let them know how you feel about being called a child.
Say something like, “I want to start acting more like an adult.
It hurts my feelings when you call me a child.
What can I do to make you think of me as an adult?” Older brothers or sisters may also see you as still being just a child, and it can be difficult to get away from them since you’ll likely see them every day.
This makes it even more important for you to remain calm.
The best way to convince older brothers and sisters you’re not a child is to ignore them when they call you one.
Don’t argue with your siblings about being a grown up.
Just keep acting like one.
They’ll come around.You can give evidence of why you think you are no longer a child.
This can help convince your family to change their view of you.
For example, you might say, "I have a job and pay all of my own bills and rent.
I think that means I should be considered an adult now."
Start by making sure you’re being responsible with all of your current activities.
Don't forget to do your homework.
If you're in a play, don't forget your script.
Remember your clothes for dance lessons after class.
If you’re already keeping up with all of your current responsibilities, consider taking on some additional responsibilities to show people you’re not just a child.
This can include volunteering for a leadership position in a club or organization you belong to, doing more to help around the house, or getting a part-time job.
Don’t over extend yourself.
Take on one new responsibility at a time, and once you’re sure you have it under control, you can consider other new responsibilities.
Choose new responsibilities that you care about.
It will make the added work easier.
For instance, if you enjoy theatre, volunteer to work as a stage manager.
You may want to select responsibilities that contribute towards long-term goals.
For instance, volunteer or find an internship in your field or industry.
Do whatever you can to not only complete your new responsibilities, but to go above and beyond to show you are committed.
For example, if you need an event plan for a club you’re in charge of in place by next Friday, get it done this Friday., Even if you feel disrespected, treat other people with kindness and understanding.
It may not always be easy when people are treating you like a child, but showing others respect, even when it’s unearned, is an important part of being an adult.
Treating others with respect can be as simple as remembering not to demand or expect things from other people.
Instead, ask for them, and say thank you.
Start small.
Say please and thank you.
These are two of the easiest ways to show your respect for others.
Say things like, “Please pass the salt,” instead of, “pass the salt.” By adding please, you are asking instead of demanding.
Always say thank you, if someone responds to your request.
Recognize other people are busy by saying something like, “I know you have a lot going on right now, but I would like to see a movie this weekend and could use a ride.” To express your gratitude, you can offer to do something in return.
Say, “I’m sorry,” if you upset someone.
Don’t get defensive and argue.
Instead, say, “I’m sorry I upset you.
I didn’t mean to.”, For example, when you get a present you hate, don't make it obvious.
Say thank you and put it aside.
Keep it simple.
If you get an ugly sweater for your birthday, say, "Oh thank you, it looks really warm." That's all.
Don’t go on about how you can’t wait to wear it, as this may come back to haunt you when you have to wear the sweater every time you see the gift giver.
If you receive a grade you’re not happy with, don’t storm straight up to your teacher’s desk and demand a better grade.
Instead, take at least 24 hours, review any notes your teacher made, and calmly ask your teacher, “I was really surprised by my grade.
Can we talk about it, so I can do better next time?”, One thing that many adults do that young people don’t is consider where they will be in a year, five years, ten years, etc.
Consider long term goals and set achievable tasks that help you get there.
This will show people in your life that you are serious about being more mature and making more adult decisions.
Start small and build your way up to more advanced or long term life goals.
Make a list of things you can accomplish in a day, a week, a month, etc., and keep track of your progress.
If you always procrastinate your assignments in class until the last minute, set a goal to finish your task a week early.
Create calendar reminders or ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable.
If you want to attend a specific college, start finding out as much as you can about the college right away.
Look up their application requirements, talk to a guidance counselor, and set up interviews at the school.Share your progress and accomplishments with family and friends along the way.
This can help boost your confidence and motivation.
It can also help others respect you more, which may help them see you as an adult.
When sharing these accomplishments, try not to brag. , Sometimes, working with others to achieve a goal or improve your community will help you better understand what you need to do to improve as an individual.
This may seem strange, but getting outside of your own head and seeing the big picture is a great way to think and act more like an adult.If you are unable to volunteer for a charity or institution, you can make a difference by offering to help someone in your life.
Try to give advice regarding things you have expertise, experience, or wisdom in.
About the Author
Natalie Sanchez
Enthusiastic about teaching creative arts techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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