How to Stop Toddler Temper Tantrums
Evaluate the situation., Don’t try to reason with an angry toddler., Try to distract them., Do something silly., Don’t give in., Control your temper., Give positive attention to reduce future tantrums.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Evaluate the situation.
Take a few moments to consider the source of your child’s tantrum before reacting.
Do you know what they are angry about? Are they scared or injured? The reason a child is upset will dictate how you handle the tantrum.
In some situations, it's best to just let the toddler go through their tantrum without giving them too much attention.
This is particularly true when you know your child is throwing a tantrum to try and manipulate you into giving them what they want.
If you can see that your child is really losing it, it may be best to just leave them be.
If your child is crying because something frightened them or because they are very overwhelmed by a situation, you shouldn’t ignore them.
In this situation, they need your comfort to feel secure. -
Step 2: Don’t try to reason with an angry toddler.
Trying to reason with a toddler in the midst of a major meltdown won’t do any good.
They are simply too caught up in their own emotions to listen to you, or understand what you are trying to say.
Their reaction may not make sense to you, but keep in mind that toddlers don’t have the same reasoning and coping skills that you have as an adult.
They are just reacting in a way that makes sense for them.
Understand that this doesn’t mean you should just walk off and leave your child by themselves if it wouldn’t be safe to do so.
For example, you don’t want to leave them sitting on the floor in the middle of a busy grocery store.
On the other hand, if you are in the safety of your home, you might let your child have their meltdown alone in their room.
Giving them their space when it is safe to do so is a good way to give you both time to deal with your emotions without engaging in a battle. , If you catch it before your child goes into total meltdown, distracting them may help avoid the problem altogether.
If they are already throwing a tantrum, a distraction could help them calm down more quickly.
Use something that you know they will be interested in.
If you are going to go somewhere where a tantrum is likely, be sure to throw a few items for distraction into your bag before you leave home.If there are signs that a tantrum is about to begin, pull out one of the items and say, “Look what I have here! Would you like to play with it?” If they nod, then hand it to them.
If they shake their head, try a different item.
If your child is already having a tantrum, you can try the same thing, though it may be more difficult to get them to focus on what you are offering.
Small toys and healthy snacks are good items for distraction. , It isn’t too hard to get a toddler to laugh.
Try doing something silly to help your child focus on something other than their anger.
Laughter also releases chemicals in the brain that help your child feel better about the situation.For example, if you are at a store, hide for a few seconds behind something, then pop out with a big smile and say, “Boo!” You could also try making silly faces or talking in a funny voice. , When your child is in the midst of a tantrum, the easiest thing to do will be to give in, especially if you are in a public place and feeling embarrassed.
However, you should avoid giving in no matter how embarrassed or frustrated you feel.
This is because giving in teaches your child that a tantrum gets them what they want, which means that the next time you tell them they can’t have something they want, they’ll use this technique again.If you are feeling very embarrassed try leaving the situation before it gets worse.
For example, if you are at the grocery store and your child throws a tantrum the second you walk in the door, you might consider putting off the shopping until later in the day.
It may be frustrating, but it will be less frustrating than dealing with a cranky toddler throughout the shopping trip. , Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes the best thing you can do is just walk away if the situation permits.
If you are feeling like you are about to lose your temper, remove yourself from the situation.
If you are at home, let your child have their meltdown in a safe space, and go to another room where you can calm down for a few minutes.
If you are in public, take your child to the car, put them in their seat, and spend a few minutes taking deep breaths outside the car while you calm down.Many recommend taking slow, deep breaths while counting to ten in order to calm down.
If at any point you feel like you might harm your child because you are too angry, call someone to come help you.
Call your partner or a trusted friend or family member who can come watch your toddler for awhile.
Most parents will go through an experience where they lose it at some point or another.
Expecting this possibility, and knowing how you will handle it is the best thing you can do. , If the only way your child can get your attention is by throwing a tantrum, then they will use this as a means to get what they really want from you.
Therefore, it is important that you give them attention when they’re behaving well.
When you notice that they are behaving well, give them lots of cuddles and love.
Don’t reserve your undivided attention for negative behavior.For example, if you go to the store and your child doesn’t throw a tantrum, take them to the park to play for a few minutes or let them pick out a healthy treat.
This will show them that good behavior has good consequences. -
Step 3: Try to distract them.
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Step 4: Do something silly.
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Step 5: Don’t give in.
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Step 6: Control your temper.
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Step 7: Give positive attention to reduce future tantrums.
Detailed Guide
Take a few moments to consider the source of your child’s tantrum before reacting.
Do you know what they are angry about? Are they scared or injured? The reason a child is upset will dictate how you handle the tantrum.
In some situations, it's best to just let the toddler go through their tantrum without giving them too much attention.
This is particularly true when you know your child is throwing a tantrum to try and manipulate you into giving them what they want.
If you can see that your child is really losing it, it may be best to just leave them be.
If your child is crying because something frightened them or because they are very overwhelmed by a situation, you shouldn’t ignore them.
In this situation, they need your comfort to feel secure.
Trying to reason with a toddler in the midst of a major meltdown won’t do any good.
They are simply too caught up in their own emotions to listen to you, or understand what you are trying to say.
Their reaction may not make sense to you, but keep in mind that toddlers don’t have the same reasoning and coping skills that you have as an adult.
They are just reacting in a way that makes sense for them.
Understand that this doesn’t mean you should just walk off and leave your child by themselves if it wouldn’t be safe to do so.
For example, you don’t want to leave them sitting on the floor in the middle of a busy grocery store.
On the other hand, if you are in the safety of your home, you might let your child have their meltdown alone in their room.
Giving them their space when it is safe to do so is a good way to give you both time to deal with your emotions without engaging in a battle. , If you catch it before your child goes into total meltdown, distracting them may help avoid the problem altogether.
If they are already throwing a tantrum, a distraction could help them calm down more quickly.
Use something that you know they will be interested in.
If you are going to go somewhere where a tantrum is likely, be sure to throw a few items for distraction into your bag before you leave home.If there are signs that a tantrum is about to begin, pull out one of the items and say, “Look what I have here! Would you like to play with it?” If they nod, then hand it to them.
If they shake their head, try a different item.
If your child is already having a tantrum, you can try the same thing, though it may be more difficult to get them to focus on what you are offering.
Small toys and healthy snacks are good items for distraction. , It isn’t too hard to get a toddler to laugh.
Try doing something silly to help your child focus on something other than their anger.
Laughter also releases chemicals in the brain that help your child feel better about the situation.For example, if you are at a store, hide for a few seconds behind something, then pop out with a big smile and say, “Boo!” You could also try making silly faces or talking in a funny voice. , When your child is in the midst of a tantrum, the easiest thing to do will be to give in, especially if you are in a public place and feeling embarrassed.
However, you should avoid giving in no matter how embarrassed or frustrated you feel.
This is because giving in teaches your child that a tantrum gets them what they want, which means that the next time you tell them they can’t have something they want, they’ll use this technique again.If you are feeling very embarrassed try leaving the situation before it gets worse.
For example, if you are at the grocery store and your child throws a tantrum the second you walk in the door, you might consider putting off the shopping until later in the day.
It may be frustrating, but it will be less frustrating than dealing with a cranky toddler throughout the shopping trip. , Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes the best thing you can do is just walk away if the situation permits.
If you are feeling like you are about to lose your temper, remove yourself from the situation.
If you are at home, let your child have their meltdown in a safe space, and go to another room where you can calm down for a few minutes.
If you are in public, take your child to the car, put them in their seat, and spend a few minutes taking deep breaths outside the car while you calm down.Many recommend taking slow, deep breaths while counting to ten in order to calm down.
If at any point you feel like you might harm your child because you are too angry, call someone to come help you.
Call your partner or a trusted friend or family member who can come watch your toddler for awhile.
Most parents will go through an experience where they lose it at some point or another.
Expecting this possibility, and knowing how you will handle it is the best thing you can do. , If the only way your child can get your attention is by throwing a tantrum, then they will use this as a means to get what they really want from you.
Therefore, it is important that you give them attention when they’re behaving well.
When you notice that they are behaving well, give them lots of cuddles and love.
Don’t reserve your undivided attention for negative behavior.For example, if you go to the store and your child doesn’t throw a tantrum, take them to the park to play for a few minutes or let them pick out a healthy treat.
This will show them that good behavior has good consequences.
About the Author
Jose King
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow organization tutorials.
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