How to Talk to an Autistic Child
Speak about their interests., Shorten your sentences if you're talking to a younger child or a person who doesn't process spoken words well., Draw a picture., Allow for processing time., Maintain linguistic consistency as needed., Be sensitive and...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Speak about their interests.
Once you find out what the child is interested in, it will be much easier to create conversation.
If you discuss subject matter that is comfortable for them, they may open up.
Finding the right "wavelength" on which to communicate is essential for smooth conversation.
For example, your son may be obsessed with cars, and you can use this topic as a good opener. -
Step 2: Shorten your sentences if you're talking to a younger child or a person who doesn't process spoken words well.
If you speak to an autistic child using short sentences, they may be able to process the information more effectively.
This depends on the child.
Some autistic children can process long sentences well.
Never condescend to them or treat them like they are half their age.
Some autistic children have trouble processing spoken words.
If this is the case, try writing messages to them, such as “We are going to eat now.” They may write back, or respond verbally in a more effective fashion due to the visual communication.
Written communication can be a great tool. , Autistic people tend to think visually, and they can benefit from pictures.
Try drawing diagrams, instructions, or simple pictures to help communicate ideas.
Visuals may help them understand more clearly what you're trying to verbally express, because many autistic children respond more effectively to visual communication.
Try using visuals to create your child's schedule.
Draw their daily activities; eating breakfast, going to school, coming home, playing, bedtime, etc.
Add words if your child is learning to read.
This will allow your child to check off their daily activities and add structure to their day.
You can use stick figures to explain activities, but make sure you add a component that personalizes each character.
For instance, maybe you have red hair.
Add this to your stick figure so that your child associates that figure as being 'mom'. , You may need to pause more frequently than in your average conversation.
It is important that you give your child time to process the information that they just received.
Be patient and make sure you are not rushing them; allow them to process and respond on their own time.
If they do not respond to your first question, do not throw another at them.
This could confuse them further.
Remember that this is a question of processing, not intelligence.
Very intelligent people can have trouble processing spoken words, so do not automatically assume that the child has no intellectual abilities.
Expect them to be slow to make decisions.
Give them lots of advance notice and time to think.
Recognize that processing time may vary.
If the child is overwhelmed, they may need much more time than when they are relaxed. , Anyone who speaks a language is aware that there are many possible variations in phrasing.
Although you mean the same end result with each variation, the words can be different.
Autistic children cannot process this variation, so make sure you keep phrases consistent to avoid confusion.
For example, if you are at the dinner table, you can ask for the peas a dozen different ways.
However, for some autistic children, it is best to stick to a uniform and consistent phrase.
Remember that perfect consistency is impossible, and there's no need to stress if you don't use the same phrase every time. , Your child may not speak to you at all, but do your best to not take this personally.
Approach your child in a sensitive manner, respecting their boundaries and making it clear that you're available if they want you.
You can never know with certainty why the child is silent.
The timing of the conversation may have been off, the environment could be negative, or the child could be imagining something else.
Fundamentally respecting your child's feelings and boundaries is the best way to get them to open up to you.
If others try to speak to your child, they may think that your child is anti-social or doesn't like them.
Neither of these are likely the case.
Either way, make sure that they are sensitive to your child's situation. , Autistic children don't always respond easily to questions such as "How are you?"
which may feel intimidating or overwhelming.
Collecting thoughts into sentences can take time for autistic people, so starting with something less pressuring helps them feel that the interaction isn't either pass or fail.
Complementing their toy can start a conversation.
Simply make a comment and see if they respond.
Once again, start with a topic of interest to them.
Older children may have developed scripts which they recite when prompted with a question.
In this case, starting with "How are you?" will automatically result in an answer such as "Good." Opening with a question will not be stressful if the child has a script for that question. , There will be many times that your child will want to engage, but they may struggle.
Be conscious of their presence and include them.
Even if they are not responding, it's important to make the effort.
It could mean a lot to them.
Ask about what your child wants to do.
It could be that they want to join the other children playing tag... or maybe they think it is too noisy and prefer to peacefully line up their toys.
Don't push an unwilling child too hard.
Written communication may work better for autistic children.
Consider letter-writing or online friendships for your child., Choose a time when your child is calm to interact with them.
If they're relaxed, they will be more receptive to what you have to say.
Also, choose an environment that does not have a lot going on at once because excessive stimuli can make your child unable to function. , Autistic children can struggle with figurative speech.
They have a hard time understanding sarcasm, idioms, and humor.
Make sure you are literal and specific, which will make it easier for them to understand you.
You can introduce figurative speech into their lives as they are developmentally ready.
If your child looks confused, just try rephrasing or explaining what you said.
If you used a figure of speech, you can explain what it means.
Autistic children can learn what new words and phrases mean. -
Step 3: Draw a picture.
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Step 4: Allow for processing time.
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Step 5: Maintain linguistic consistency as needed.
-
Step 6: Be sensitive and don't take silence personally.
-
Step 7: Begin conversations with a statement.
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Step 8: Don't exclude them.
-
Step 9: Talk to your child at the right time.
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Step 10: Speak literally.
Detailed Guide
Once you find out what the child is interested in, it will be much easier to create conversation.
If you discuss subject matter that is comfortable for them, they may open up.
Finding the right "wavelength" on which to communicate is essential for smooth conversation.
For example, your son may be obsessed with cars, and you can use this topic as a good opener.
If you speak to an autistic child using short sentences, they may be able to process the information more effectively.
This depends on the child.
Some autistic children can process long sentences well.
Never condescend to them or treat them like they are half their age.
Some autistic children have trouble processing spoken words.
If this is the case, try writing messages to them, such as “We are going to eat now.” They may write back, or respond verbally in a more effective fashion due to the visual communication.
Written communication can be a great tool. , Autistic people tend to think visually, and they can benefit from pictures.
Try drawing diagrams, instructions, or simple pictures to help communicate ideas.
Visuals may help them understand more clearly what you're trying to verbally express, because many autistic children respond more effectively to visual communication.
Try using visuals to create your child's schedule.
Draw their daily activities; eating breakfast, going to school, coming home, playing, bedtime, etc.
Add words if your child is learning to read.
This will allow your child to check off their daily activities and add structure to their day.
You can use stick figures to explain activities, but make sure you add a component that personalizes each character.
For instance, maybe you have red hair.
Add this to your stick figure so that your child associates that figure as being 'mom'. , You may need to pause more frequently than in your average conversation.
It is important that you give your child time to process the information that they just received.
Be patient and make sure you are not rushing them; allow them to process and respond on their own time.
If they do not respond to your first question, do not throw another at them.
This could confuse them further.
Remember that this is a question of processing, not intelligence.
Very intelligent people can have trouble processing spoken words, so do not automatically assume that the child has no intellectual abilities.
Expect them to be slow to make decisions.
Give them lots of advance notice and time to think.
Recognize that processing time may vary.
If the child is overwhelmed, they may need much more time than when they are relaxed. , Anyone who speaks a language is aware that there are many possible variations in phrasing.
Although you mean the same end result with each variation, the words can be different.
Autistic children cannot process this variation, so make sure you keep phrases consistent to avoid confusion.
For example, if you are at the dinner table, you can ask for the peas a dozen different ways.
However, for some autistic children, it is best to stick to a uniform and consistent phrase.
Remember that perfect consistency is impossible, and there's no need to stress if you don't use the same phrase every time. , Your child may not speak to you at all, but do your best to not take this personally.
Approach your child in a sensitive manner, respecting their boundaries and making it clear that you're available if they want you.
You can never know with certainty why the child is silent.
The timing of the conversation may have been off, the environment could be negative, or the child could be imagining something else.
Fundamentally respecting your child's feelings and boundaries is the best way to get them to open up to you.
If others try to speak to your child, they may think that your child is anti-social or doesn't like them.
Neither of these are likely the case.
Either way, make sure that they are sensitive to your child's situation. , Autistic children don't always respond easily to questions such as "How are you?"
which may feel intimidating or overwhelming.
Collecting thoughts into sentences can take time for autistic people, so starting with something less pressuring helps them feel that the interaction isn't either pass or fail.
Complementing their toy can start a conversation.
Simply make a comment and see if they respond.
Once again, start with a topic of interest to them.
Older children may have developed scripts which they recite when prompted with a question.
In this case, starting with "How are you?" will automatically result in an answer such as "Good." Opening with a question will not be stressful if the child has a script for that question. , There will be many times that your child will want to engage, but they may struggle.
Be conscious of their presence and include them.
Even if they are not responding, it's important to make the effort.
It could mean a lot to them.
Ask about what your child wants to do.
It could be that they want to join the other children playing tag... or maybe they think it is too noisy and prefer to peacefully line up their toys.
Don't push an unwilling child too hard.
Written communication may work better for autistic children.
Consider letter-writing or online friendships for your child., Choose a time when your child is calm to interact with them.
If they're relaxed, they will be more receptive to what you have to say.
Also, choose an environment that does not have a lot going on at once because excessive stimuli can make your child unable to function. , Autistic children can struggle with figurative speech.
They have a hard time understanding sarcasm, idioms, and humor.
Make sure you are literal and specific, which will make it easier for them to understand you.
You can introduce figurative speech into their lives as they are developmentally ready.
If your child looks confused, just try rephrasing or explaining what you said.
If you used a figure of speech, you can explain what it means.
Autistic children can learn what new words and phrases mean.
About the Author
Gloria Ramos
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in lifestyle and beyond.
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