How to Teach Children Impulse Control
Teach self-monitoring., Show them how to count to calm., Practice deep breathing., Teach redirection., Talk about time-outs., Coach them in self-confidence.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Teach self-monitoring.
Unless children are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and actions, it will be difficult for them to practice impulse control.
Young children, in particular, may not have a grasp on impulse control because they don’t have experience monitoring their impulses.
Even older children may need to be taught to be self-aware.
You can teach children impulse control by also teaching them to constantly monitor themselves.Once children are able to identify and acknowledge what is going on inside them, they will have an easier time controlling it.
Try practicing mindfulness activities with them.
By learning to focus on how they feel they will be able to recognize when they are being impulsive.
Teach them how to use self-talk.
For example, teach them how to say to themselves, “I really want that and it’s making me excited.
I need to calm down a little.” -
Step 2: Show them how to count to calm.
Teaching children how to count as a relaxation technique is one easy way you can start to teach them impulse control.
Counting can serve a number of purposes when children need to calm down.
With younger children it’s a way to reinforce learning their numbers and give them a concrete way to calm down.
With children that are older, it can distract them for a moment and help physically relax them.
It’s also a strategy that all children can use on their own, in a variety of situations, throughout their life.
This is good strategy to use when children are in situations of conflict.
Counting gives them a few moments to calm down and think about what they’re doing.
Counting can also help children when they are faced with temptation.
It’s a way for them to catch themselves before they act on impulse. , Deep breathing is an easy way to relax yourself and calm down.We often tell preschoolers and older children to “Just take a few deep breaths” but we don’t always teach them how to do this.
When you are teaching children impulse control, take some time to show them how to use breathing techniques as a way to calm themselves down.
Teach them finger breathing.
Inhale while you trace up the thumb of one hand with the index finger of your other hand.
Hold at the tip, then trace down your finger as you exhale.
Repeat with each finger.
They can use deep breathing techniques to calm themselves down when they are upset.
For example, teach them to take some deep breaths to calm down when someone makes them angry.
Or, for instance, show them how to take a few deep breaths when they are at the amusement park so they don’t get overexcited and run off. , When children are young, we use redirection as a way to channel their energy away from something harmful (or irritating) towards something positive and constructive.
As children get older, you can teach them to redirect themselves as a way of teaching them impulse control.For instance, if they’re feeling the impulse to jump, show them how to do other things to release the energy like tap their toes, shrug their shoulders.
They can also use redirection when they need to be patient.
For example, have them think about what else they can do while waiting to go skating. , Depending on their upbringing, children may consider the term ‘time-out’ synonymous with punishment or discipline.
You can teach children impulse control by changing this perspective.
Explain to both older and younger children that a ‘time-out’ is a way to take a break from something or someone that is causing them to get upset.
Teach them that is something they can do on their own to control their impulses.
Tell children to use a personal time-out when someone has made them angry.
For example, you could say, “If Henry makes you upset again, then take a time-out.
It’ll help you calm down and figure out how to handle it.” They can also use time-out to restrain themselves when something they shouldn’t do is tempting them.
For instance, tell them to try walking out of the room to resist eating the rest of the cookies. , No matter the age, when children have difficulty with impulse control, they may find themselves in trouble frequently.
As a result, they may begin to develop a negative self-image.
They may begin to see themselves as the kid who can’t control their impulses.
By teaching children to boost their self-esteem, you are also teaching them to believe that they can show impulse control.Talk to them about spending time with people that care about them and make them feel good about themselves.
Encourage them to keep a list of their accomplishments, no matter how small.
For instance, tell them to write it down when they receive a smiley face in their school agenda or win a soccer match.
Remind them to give themselves a compliment every day.
For example, you could tell them, “Every morning tell yourself how great you are.” -
Step 3: Practice deep breathing.
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Step 4: Teach redirection.
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Step 5: Talk about time-outs.
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Step 6: Coach them in self-confidence.
Detailed Guide
Unless children are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and actions, it will be difficult for them to practice impulse control.
Young children, in particular, may not have a grasp on impulse control because they don’t have experience monitoring their impulses.
Even older children may need to be taught to be self-aware.
You can teach children impulse control by also teaching them to constantly monitor themselves.Once children are able to identify and acknowledge what is going on inside them, they will have an easier time controlling it.
Try practicing mindfulness activities with them.
By learning to focus on how they feel they will be able to recognize when they are being impulsive.
Teach them how to use self-talk.
For example, teach them how to say to themselves, “I really want that and it’s making me excited.
I need to calm down a little.”
Teaching children how to count as a relaxation technique is one easy way you can start to teach them impulse control.
Counting can serve a number of purposes when children need to calm down.
With younger children it’s a way to reinforce learning their numbers and give them a concrete way to calm down.
With children that are older, it can distract them for a moment and help physically relax them.
It’s also a strategy that all children can use on their own, in a variety of situations, throughout their life.
This is good strategy to use when children are in situations of conflict.
Counting gives them a few moments to calm down and think about what they’re doing.
Counting can also help children when they are faced with temptation.
It’s a way for them to catch themselves before they act on impulse. , Deep breathing is an easy way to relax yourself and calm down.We often tell preschoolers and older children to “Just take a few deep breaths” but we don’t always teach them how to do this.
When you are teaching children impulse control, take some time to show them how to use breathing techniques as a way to calm themselves down.
Teach them finger breathing.
Inhale while you trace up the thumb of one hand with the index finger of your other hand.
Hold at the tip, then trace down your finger as you exhale.
Repeat with each finger.
They can use deep breathing techniques to calm themselves down when they are upset.
For example, teach them to take some deep breaths to calm down when someone makes them angry.
Or, for instance, show them how to take a few deep breaths when they are at the amusement park so they don’t get overexcited and run off. , When children are young, we use redirection as a way to channel their energy away from something harmful (or irritating) towards something positive and constructive.
As children get older, you can teach them to redirect themselves as a way of teaching them impulse control.For instance, if they’re feeling the impulse to jump, show them how to do other things to release the energy like tap their toes, shrug their shoulders.
They can also use redirection when they need to be patient.
For example, have them think about what else they can do while waiting to go skating. , Depending on their upbringing, children may consider the term ‘time-out’ synonymous with punishment or discipline.
You can teach children impulse control by changing this perspective.
Explain to both older and younger children that a ‘time-out’ is a way to take a break from something or someone that is causing them to get upset.
Teach them that is something they can do on their own to control their impulses.
Tell children to use a personal time-out when someone has made them angry.
For example, you could say, “If Henry makes you upset again, then take a time-out.
It’ll help you calm down and figure out how to handle it.” They can also use time-out to restrain themselves when something they shouldn’t do is tempting them.
For instance, tell them to try walking out of the room to resist eating the rest of the cookies. , No matter the age, when children have difficulty with impulse control, they may find themselves in trouble frequently.
As a result, they may begin to develop a negative self-image.
They may begin to see themselves as the kid who can’t control their impulses.
By teaching children to boost their self-esteem, you are also teaching them to believe that they can show impulse control.Talk to them about spending time with people that care about them and make them feel good about themselves.
Encourage them to keep a list of their accomplishments, no matter how small.
For instance, tell them to write it down when they receive a smiley face in their school agenda or win a soccer match.
Remind them to give themselves a compliment every day.
For example, you could tell them, “Every morning tell yourself how great you are.”
About the Author
Henry Wright
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
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