How to Teach Kids to Be Honest Without Being Hurtful
Be truthful with others., Offer constructive criticism as a sandwich cookie., Mind your tone., Display relaxed body language.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be truthful with others.
As a parent, your best tool towards building adaptive behaviors in your child is to model them in your own behavior.
Help your kids learn the value of honesty by being honest yourself.
You want your kids to “catch” you exhibiting the behaviors you are trying to teach.
This means you shouldn’t lie to others or your kids.Sometimes, in parenting, telling a lie is far easier than explaining the truth.
Resist going the easy route.
Instead of telling your child “We’re all going to bed, so you should, too,” say “Mommy and Daddy can stay up a little later.
But you’re smaller.
Your body needs more sleep to grow properly.” If your child asks about something that is not appropriate for your child’s age, then explain it in a way that the child will understand and that will not frighten them.
Do not lie to avoid discussing certain topics. -
Step 2: Offer constructive criticism as a sandwich cookie.
Telling the truth shouldn’t excuse you from being polite.
Share feedback to others and your kids by using the sandwich method.
Think of an Oreo.
It has two crispy cookies and a creamy inside.
Any harsh criticism should come in the middle, so that you can buffer it with two positive statements on the outside.For example, remark on your child’s piano performance by saying, “You did an awesome job at the recital.
You rushed the end of the second piece, but you recovered quite nicely.
Your technique is definitely improving.” Here, the criticism (i.e. rushing the music) is sandwiched between two compliments.
This method helps you practice honesty while preserving the other person’s feelings.
It is also helpful to offer praise often.
It is easier to hear criticism if you believe the person has a high opinion of you. , Tone, the manner in which you speak, is one aspect of communication that adds punch to your words.
Even if you are trying to be polite with your words, the receiver won’t deem them as courteous if your tone of voice is inconsistent with the message.In general, it’s hard to know what would be considered okay for one person or rude to another.
Even when you are communicating with emotion or passion, try your best to wrap your words in cotton.
Rather than spitting out words or raising your voice, stick to an indoor voice in a softer tone.Try excusing yourself for a few minutes when you are upset.
Don’t return to the conversation until you have composed yourself.
This will set a good example for your child. , Body language allows you to convey a message without making a sound.
Crossed arms.
Standing over others.
Pacing.
All of these seemingly minor behaviors can make others intimidated or alarmed.
Being honest without being hurtful requires watching these nonverbal cues to make sure your body language aligns with your intended message.
Being polite entails showing others that you are sensitive to their feelings.
Crossing your arms is often used when a person is angry or disappointed, so you may want to relax your arms and legs instead.
Pacing or standing over someone can make you appear rude or impatient.
If the other person is seated, sit down also.
Relax your posture, make eye contact, and leave your arms and legs casually at your sides. -
Step 3: Mind your tone.
-
Step 4: Display relaxed body language.
Detailed Guide
As a parent, your best tool towards building adaptive behaviors in your child is to model them in your own behavior.
Help your kids learn the value of honesty by being honest yourself.
You want your kids to “catch” you exhibiting the behaviors you are trying to teach.
This means you shouldn’t lie to others or your kids.Sometimes, in parenting, telling a lie is far easier than explaining the truth.
Resist going the easy route.
Instead of telling your child “We’re all going to bed, so you should, too,” say “Mommy and Daddy can stay up a little later.
But you’re smaller.
Your body needs more sleep to grow properly.” If your child asks about something that is not appropriate for your child’s age, then explain it in a way that the child will understand and that will not frighten them.
Do not lie to avoid discussing certain topics.
Telling the truth shouldn’t excuse you from being polite.
Share feedback to others and your kids by using the sandwich method.
Think of an Oreo.
It has two crispy cookies and a creamy inside.
Any harsh criticism should come in the middle, so that you can buffer it with two positive statements on the outside.For example, remark on your child’s piano performance by saying, “You did an awesome job at the recital.
You rushed the end of the second piece, but you recovered quite nicely.
Your technique is definitely improving.” Here, the criticism (i.e. rushing the music) is sandwiched between two compliments.
This method helps you practice honesty while preserving the other person’s feelings.
It is also helpful to offer praise often.
It is easier to hear criticism if you believe the person has a high opinion of you. , Tone, the manner in which you speak, is one aspect of communication that adds punch to your words.
Even if you are trying to be polite with your words, the receiver won’t deem them as courteous if your tone of voice is inconsistent with the message.In general, it’s hard to know what would be considered okay for one person or rude to another.
Even when you are communicating with emotion or passion, try your best to wrap your words in cotton.
Rather than spitting out words or raising your voice, stick to an indoor voice in a softer tone.Try excusing yourself for a few minutes when you are upset.
Don’t return to the conversation until you have composed yourself.
This will set a good example for your child. , Body language allows you to convey a message without making a sound.
Crossed arms.
Standing over others.
Pacing.
All of these seemingly minor behaviors can make others intimidated or alarmed.
Being honest without being hurtful requires watching these nonverbal cues to make sure your body language aligns with your intended message.
Being polite entails showing others that you are sensitive to their feelings.
Crossing your arms is often used when a person is angry or disappointed, so you may want to relax your arms and legs instead.
Pacing or standing over someone can make you appear rude or impatient.
If the other person is seated, sit down also.
Relax your posture, make eye contact, and leave your arms and legs casually at your sides.
About the Author
Edward Hart
Experienced content creator specializing in lifestyle guides and tutorials.
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