How to Teach Kids to Learn from Failure

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Redefine failure as a “learning opportunity.” Change the meaning of the word failure in your family’s vocabulary.

   Describe such situations as learning opportunities instead.
   
   This helps you use setbacks as teachable moments.
   
   Over time, your child will stop viewing failure negatively and look for the lesson.When you child makes an unsuccessful attempt ask them what they learned.
   
   For example, they screw up in the spelling bee and get disqualified.
   
   You might say, “I can see this is upsetting for you, but how can you use what you’ve learned to improve for the next competition?” Also, make sure that you emphasize their progress.
   
   This will help them to see that they are improving even if they did not accomplish their goal.
   
   For example, you might say something like, "I know you didn't win the competition, but look at how much further you got than last time!"
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   Step 2: Challenge them to take more risks.

   Failure is never a waste of time when it challenges a person to go beyond their comfort zone.
   
   Create a fun challenge with your kids to use mistakes as stepping stones.
   
   Make this fun and interactive.Develop a weekly check-in time (maybe at dinner every Friday).
   
   Have everyone go around the table and share a challenging situation that they failed at.
   
   You might even give stickers or rewards for the “biggest failure” each week.
   
   Your kids might say, “I tried out for the baseball team although I’ve never played the sport” or “I asked the new girl at my high school out on a date and she turned me down.” This check-in should be met with encouragement for the risks everyone took that week.
   
   Then, go back to the drawing board and remind everyone to fail even bigger next week. , Many families connect over exciting movies and TV shows.
   
   If you want to help your kids see the lesson in failures, use their favorite forms of entertainment as a reference.
   
   You might sit down for an evening of TV and watch for situations when the characters made mistakes and learned from them.
   
   Start a conversation by saying, “Billy failed his English essay, but how did he try to fix the mistake?” Your kids might reply, “He went to tutoring.
   
   He asked for an extra credit assignment.
   
   And he didn’t try to hide it from his mom—he just came out and told her upfront.” You can also mention your own experiences with failure.
   
   For example, you might say something like, I struggled with math in middle school, but I studied hard and, by the time I was in high school, I was in the advanced class.” , It’s in an adult’s nature to protect children.
   
   Your desire to protect, however, could be reinforcing learned helplessness.
   
   Don’t teach your kids that that’s “too hard” or you’re “too little.” Let them take a stab at challenging activities to build self-efficacy.
   
   If you see your kid trying to do something that’s above their skill or developmental level, encourage them as long as it’s safe.
   
   For instance, if your young daughter tries to learn how to ride her bike without training wheels, say, “You’re so brave, sweetie.
   
   Let’s try this” instead of “Oh, don’t you think you should wait until you’re bigger?” Let them take on challenges, and just be there to offer support if they miss the mark.
   
   It’s all a part of growing up., Avoid rewarding successful performance only.
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   Step 3: Use entertainment to drive home points.

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   Step 4: Give them opportunities to fail.

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   Step 5: Be sure to celebrate risk-taking now and then as well as taking on challenges and working hard to accomplish a goal.

Detailed Guide

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