How to Train Your Children to Obey Without Using Timeouts
Employ logical consequences if a child is three years or older., Identify the behavior that requires correction., Offer your child a choice., Apply the consequence right away and use an appropriate time frame., Acknowledge mutual rights and...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Employ logical consequences if a child is three years or older.
To use logical consequences, a child must understand the connection between his or her actions and the consequences that follow.
Logical consequences will not work until children are old enough to start understanding the consequences of their actions, so do not use this method for children under the age of three., Before you start to apply logical consequences, it is important to identify the behavior that you want to correct.
Take a moment to think about what exactly your child is doing that needs to stop or change.
Some examples of behaviors that you may need to correct include: not putting away toys refusing to do homework being rude or disrespectful , As a disciplinary strategy, logical consequences work best when a child is aware that there will be a consequence for a particular action.
This helps prevent a power struggle because the child cannot claim that she didn’t know the rules.
Warnings also empower your child to correct inappropriate behavior on her own.For example, you might say something like, “You can put your bike away, or it may be stolen or damaged by the rain.
That would mean you could not ride it anymore.
The choice is yours.” Try to speak clearly and calmly as you offer the choice.
Do not offer a choice that is an imposed punishment.
For example, do not say something like, “If you do not put your toys away right now, then you will not get any dessert tonight!”, Timing is important when disciplining your child.If you punish your child's misbehavior the day after it happens, the logical connection between the misbehavior and the consequence may be lost on a child.
On the other hand, if you confiscate a toy or revoke a privilege for a very long time – say one month – your child may forget what the initial misbehavior was, and simply become resentful.
For small children, confiscating a toy or revoking a privilege for the rest of the day should be sufficient.
As your child ages, longer time-frames become more effective.
For example, if a pre-teen is playing video games instead of doing homework, it may be appropriate to revoke video game privileges for numerous days. , In some situations, you may not need to resort to a logical consequence punishment.
You may be able to correct your child while helping her see that you respect her rights.
This will show that you are not just imposing your authority on her, which may make a power struggle less likely.
For example, if your child is listening to loud music while you need to make a phone call, you might acknowledge mutual rights and responsibilities by saying something like, “Can you please turn the music down or listen with your headphones for a while? I need to make a phone call.
You can turn it back up when I'm through.” -
Step 2: Identify the behavior that requires correction.
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Step 3: Offer your child a choice.
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Step 4: Apply the consequence right away and use an appropriate time frame.
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Step 5: Acknowledge mutual rights and responsibilities.
Detailed Guide
To use logical consequences, a child must understand the connection between his or her actions and the consequences that follow.
Logical consequences will not work until children are old enough to start understanding the consequences of their actions, so do not use this method for children under the age of three., Before you start to apply logical consequences, it is important to identify the behavior that you want to correct.
Take a moment to think about what exactly your child is doing that needs to stop or change.
Some examples of behaviors that you may need to correct include: not putting away toys refusing to do homework being rude or disrespectful , As a disciplinary strategy, logical consequences work best when a child is aware that there will be a consequence for a particular action.
This helps prevent a power struggle because the child cannot claim that she didn’t know the rules.
Warnings also empower your child to correct inappropriate behavior on her own.For example, you might say something like, “You can put your bike away, or it may be stolen or damaged by the rain.
That would mean you could not ride it anymore.
The choice is yours.” Try to speak clearly and calmly as you offer the choice.
Do not offer a choice that is an imposed punishment.
For example, do not say something like, “If you do not put your toys away right now, then you will not get any dessert tonight!”, Timing is important when disciplining your child.If you punish your child's misbehavior the day after it happens, the logical connection between the misbehavior and the consequence may be lost on a child.
On the other hand, if you confiscate a toy or revoke a privilege for a very long time – say one month – your child may forget what the initial misbehavior was, and simply become resentful.
For small children, confiscating a toy or revoking a privilege for the rest of the day should be sufficient.
As your child ages, longer time-frames become more effective.
For example, if a pre-teen is playing video games instead of doing homework, it may be appropriate to revoke video game privileges for numerous days. , In some situations, you may not need to resort to a logical consequence punishment.
You may be able to correct your child while helping her see that you respect her rights.
This will show that you are not just imposing your authority on her, which may make a power struggle less likely.
For example, if your child is listening to loud music while you need to make a phone call, you might acknowledge mutual rights and responsibilities by saying something like, “Can you please turn the music down or listen with your headphones for a while? I need to make a phone call.
You can turn it back up when I'm through.”
About the Author
Joshua Knight
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow home improvement tutorials.
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