How to Understand Your Parents
Ask your parents about their childhoods., Ask their opinion., Share things with them., Ask for their help and advice., Try to understand their stresses., Ask people who know your parents to talk about them.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask your parents about their childhoods.
You weren’t there for your parents’ childhoods, and you might learn something especially interesting or cool about your parents’ experiences.
Knowing about their experiences and childhoods will also help you to understand them better currently.
Here are some questions you could ask:
What was your childhood like? How would your parents have described you when you were in high school? What advice would you give to yourself when you were my age? Which family tradition did/do you love the most? -
Step 2: Ask their opinion.
Exploring your parents' beliefs and opinions can give you insight into how they see the world.
If you are watching the news together, try asking their opinion about some of the stories.
Find out their political views and their stance on current events.
If something is going on with a friend or at school, ask what they think about it.
For instance, you could say something like, "There's a new rule at school that says girls' skirts have to go past their knees.
What do you think about that?" Don't stop at asking their opinion — ask them why.
Understanding why they take a certain position can give you more understanding on how your parents reason through things and how they see the world. , Even if these everyday things are small, such as what you ate for lunch or a funny thing that your friend said to you, your parents will love hearing these details about your life.
They might even start to share the same type of information in return, and you will then understand them better.
The more you communicate with your parents, the more you will, in time, begin to understand them.You could say something like, "Mom, the funniest thing happened to me today, and I want to tell you about it." Or you could try, "Dad, I'm so glad you're home! I taught our dog a new trick today that I want to show you."
Your parents probably would love to help with your problems, from your relationship troubles to what you’re wearing to the office Christmas party.
But you first need to tell your parents that you want advice from them.
Getting your parents’ perspective on one of your problems will both help you with your problem and help you understand your parents’ point of view more.Try asking about career advice.
You could say, "Dad, how did you decide what you wanted to do with your career? I'm feeling lost." Or you could try something like, "Mom, I feel like my friend Annie is upset with me.
What do you think I should do?"
Your parents might have bigger problems than you think they do, and these problems could be affecting your relationship.
Whether they are having trouble at work, are worried about something, or want to lose a little bit of weight, you should ask your parents if anything has been on their mind recently.
Hearing about these problems will help you understand your parents better., Another way to truly understand your parents is to learn about them from a different perspective.
Talk to your grandparents, your siblings, your parents' siblings, other family members, and your parents' friends.
Ask them to tell stories about your parents, and ask them questions.
For example, you could say, "Grandma, do you have any funny stories about Dad from when he was little?" Or, you could ask your mom's friend, "Sue, do you think that my mom likes her job?" -
Step 3: Share things with them.
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Step 4: Ask for their help and advice.
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Step 5: Try to understand their stresses.
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Step 6: Ask people who know your parents to talk about them.
Detailed Guide
You weren’t there for your parents’ childhoods, and you might learn something especially interesting or cool about your parents’ experiences.
Knowing about their experiences and childhoods will also help you to understand them better currently.
Here are some questions you could ask:
What was your childhood like? How would your parents have described you when you were in high school? What advice would you give to yourself when you were my age? Which family tradition did/do you love the most?
Exploring your parents' beliefs and opinions can give you insight into how they see the world.
If you are watching the news together, try asking their opinion about some of the stories.
Find out their political views and their stance on current events.
If something is going on with a friend or at school, ask what they think about it.
For instance, you could say something like, "There's a new rule at school that says girls' skirts have to go past their knees.
What do you think about that?" Don't stop at asking their opinion — ask them why.
Understanding why they take a certain position can give you more understanding on how your parents reason through things and how they see the world. , Even if these everyday things are small, such as what you ate for lunch or a funny thing that your friend said to you, your parents will love hearing these details about your life.
They might even start to share the same type of information in return, and you will then understand them better.
The more you communicate with your parents, the more you will, in time, begin to understand them.You could say something like, "Mom, the funniest thing happened to me today, and I want to tell you about it." Or you could try, "Dad, I'm so glad you're home! I taught our dog a new trick today that I want to show you."
Your parents probably would love to help with your problems, from your relationship troubles to what you’re wearing to the office Christmas party.
But you first need to tell your parents that you want advice from them.
Getting your parents’ perspective on one of your problems will both help you with your problem and help you understand your parents’ point of view more.Try asking about career advice.
You could say, "Dad, how did you decide what you wanted to do with your career? I'm feeling lost." Or you could try something like, "Mom, I feel like my friend Annie is upset with me.
What do you think I should do?"
Your parents might have bigger problems than you think they do, and these problems could be affecting your relationship.
Whether they are having trouble at work, are worried about something, or want to lose a little bit of weight, you should ask your parents if anything has been on their mind recently.
Hearing about these problems will help you understand your parents better., Another way to truly understand your parents is to learn about them from a different perspective.
Talk to your grandparents, your siblings, your parents' siblings, other family members, and your parents' friends.
Ask them to tell stories about your parents, and ask them questions.
For example, you could say, "Grandma, do you have any funny stories about Dad from when he was little?" Or, you could ask your mom's friend, "Sue, do you think that my mom likes her job?"
About the Author
Charles Hughes
Specializes in breaking down complex practical skills topics into simple steps.
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