How to Welcome an Adopted Teenager Into Your Family

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Plan a welcome party.

   To help make the teen feel welcome in your home, it is a good idea to plan a welcome home party, similar to how you might celebrate someone returning home after a long time away.
   
   This does not have to be a huge affair.
   
   You can simply make a special dinner and buy or make a cake.
   
   Just do something to mark the occasion and make it special.
   
   If the teenager you are adopting has opted to change his or her name, then you might surprise him or her with a special gift with the new name on it.
   
   This could be something simple, like a backpack, a blanket, or a mug.
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   Step 2: Make a place for the teen.

   Making a place in your family for your teen is critical.
   
   You are adopting them and agreeing to make them part of your family.
   
   This means they get included in all family events or tasks.
   
   Your teen should be treated as an equal to any other children in the family.For example, you should make room on shelves for pictures and trophies of your adopted teen.
   
   Let your adopted teen have a say in the way the house is decorated, what flowers are planted in the garden, or where you go for vacation. , When the teen comes to your home, take them on a tour and show them where everything is.
   
   Make sure they know where to find towels, toilet paper, food, plates, and even extra blankets.
   
   Encourage them to ask questions about anything they need to know.Tell them they can use anything in the house.
   
   If there are certain things they can’t use, like products in your bathroom, let them know. , A good way to make your adopted teen feel welcome is to listen to their opinions.
   
   Make them a member of the household by including them in decisions.
   
   If your teen doesn’t speak up at first, ask them to tell you what they think about things.
   
   Encourage them to take part in family discussions.For example, you may ask your teen, “What do you think we should have for dinner?” or “How do you feel about the new additions we want to make on the house?” , Your teen may not feel comfortable expressing their emotion.
   
   They may be afraid to say they are upset, angry, or sad.
   
   As you integrate your adopted teen into your home, promote an environment where they can express their feelings and be heard.The teen may be feeling many different emotions due to the adoption, the move, and the change in their life situation.
   
   Let them know it is okay to feel these emotions and to express them.
   
   Help them work through the emotions if possible.
   
   Don’t get mad if your teen has an outburst.
   
   Instead, respond calmly.
   
   Say, “I understand that you are angry.
   
   However, yelling is not a good way to deal with that feeling.
   
   Let’s talk about it and find a healthy outlet for your feelings.” , One way to help welcome the adopted teen is to include them in any family traditions.
   
   This helps them feel like they are part of the family, and helps you and the rest of your family start to see the teen as a member of the family.
   
   This is especially important at holidays, but it should be applied to any tradition.For example, if everyone gets a homemade cake and chooses their favorite meal on their birthdays, make sure your adopted teen gets that, too.
   
   Make the teen a matching stocking and buy them a holiday ornament that goes with the rest of the family’s.
   
   If it’s tradition that each Saturday the family rotates who gets to choose the takeout and movie choices, let your adopted teen make the next choice.
   
   If everyone buys their own breakfast food at the grocery store, let your teen do the same. , After you adopt your teen, you should make sure that the family spends time together.
   
   This helps all of you get used to each other and start creating a bond.
   
   This also helps your adopted child feel like part of the family.
   
   For example, you can plan small outings on the weekends, cook together, play games, go to the movies, or other activities. , Once your adopted teen is settled, you should gather the family together and spend time getting to know one another.
   
   During this session, your family has a chance to ask questions, tell each other things, and learn more about each other.
   
   This may be general things, like what people do for a living or where they went to school.
   
   You should also talk about likes and dislikes.Ask the teen what foods they like and hate, what activities they enjoy, and what their favorite movies are.
   
   Encourage the teen to ask everyone questions.
   
   This is a good way to introduce house rules, answer any questions, and clarify any confusion.
   
   You may want to break this up into smaller sessions so it’s not too overwhelming for everyone. , When your adopted child comes to live with you, try to keep the daily routines in place so they can get integrated into the family.
   
   You may have a special dinner the first night, but don’t plan fancy outings, events every night, or other things out of the ordinary.Welcoming a new family member is hard for the teen and the rest of your family.
   
   Maintaining familiarity with normal daily routines helps the teen get used to what life will be like, and helps give structure for everyone else. , Treat your adopted teen like a member of your household by setting boundaries.
   
   Everyone in the family probably has chores they do each day, along with rules and boundaries they follow.
   
   Outline the rules of your household, explain the consequences, and insist that they adhere to your rules.
   
   However, allow them independence and choices that give them freedom to express themselves and be a teenager.Be specific with your rules and boundaries.
   
   This helps your teen know what to expect and eliminates the possibility of any confusion.
   
   For example, you may have a rule where they can borrow the car or go out with friends, but they have a curfew of 11 p.m.
   
   You may require them to do the dishes after dinner and wash at least one load of laundry for the family each week.
   
   There are other things you may compromise on or be more lenient about.
   
   If the teen is going to a concert with friends, you may allow them to be out later.
   
   You may tell your teen they can wear whatever type of clothes they want as long as shorts and skirts are a certain length.
   
   Explain that you will respect their space if they respect the space of others.
   
   For example, no one will go through their things, so they shouldn’t go through other’s things.
   
   Let them know about any rules about household things.
   
   For example, if you only allow certain snacks before dinner, make sure they know that.
   
   If you don’t allow anyone to watch television for two hours after dinner, tell them that.
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   Step 3: Ensure the teen knows your home is their home.

4. 4

   Step 4: Ask their opinions.

5. 5

   Step 5: Encourage emotions.

6. 6

   Step 6: Include them in family traditions.

7. 7

   Step 7: Spend time together.

8. 8

   Step 8: Have a family get to know you session.

9. 9

   Step 9: Maintain the daily routines.

10. 10

    Step 10: Set clear boundaries.

Detailed Guide

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