How to Work With a Child With Reactive Attachment Disorder
Expect that the child will try to control the situation., Maintain consistent, predictable schedules and routines., Set expectations and boundaries.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Expect that the child will try to control the situation.
A child with RAD has likely had an uncertain, neglected past.
For example, the child may not have been fed regularly as an infant, or bounced around from foster care settings so frequently that they never felt secure.
As a result, they constantly make attempts to “control” their environment through their behavior.They may manipulate others, rather than genuinely connect with them, because of this need to control.Other controlling behaviors you might see include:
Aggressive behavior and outbursts.Clinginess and constant need for attention.
Nonstop chattering. -
Step 2: Maintain consistent
A child with RAD may have not had much consistency as a baby or toddler.
It is very important, both from a behavior management standpoint, as well as the child’s own emotional health, that the child know what to expect every day.
Creating a routine for a child helps the child feel safe, cared for, and more relaxed.Let the child know the day’s schedule, then stick to it.
For example, you could say, “Today you are going to school.
After school, we’ll go to the park, then work on homework, then take a bath.” If the child can read, write the day’s schedule in a visible place.
You could also draw pictures for a young child.
Keep the routine consistent.
Kids learn from making sense of patterns in their lives.
They’ll understand what is next and understand the behavior expected of them.
They will also be less stressed because they know what is coming and how to deal with it.Give the child as much notice as possible if there is going to be a change in the routine.
For example, “Next Saturday you’re not going to swimming class as usual, because it is Kyle’s birthday party.
We’re going to Kyle’s house instead.” You could get out a calendar and show the child how many days away it is.Do your best to avoid changes in routine with RAD children.
It can be too stressful on them and you may notice a backslide in their behavior. , Be clear in establishing rules and expectations.Kids with reactive attachment disorder will find loopholes in rule enforcement and may argue with you, so you need to be clear and firm up front.
Make the child aware of consequences that will occur if he or she disobeys rules, and follow through with your stated consequences.
This can help the child understand that they do have control over certain situations, because they can control their behavior to avoid repercussions.
Consider creating a contract with the child that indicates rules, expectations, and consequences for not following the rules.
Keep the contract in an easily accessible place for reference.Keep in mind that a contract is a mutual agreement.
Let the child have a say in the rules and the consequences to help them take control of their behavior.
For example, your contract could say, “Charlie agrees to the following rules: 1) Cleaning his room once a week. 2) No fighting with his brother and sister. 3) Following directions the first time they are given.
If Charlie does not follow these rules, he will not be allowed to play video games for 24 hours.” You may also want to specify a reward for following the rules to help provide your child with some positive reinforcement.
For example, “If Charlie follows the rules, then he will get to play with his favorite toy.” -
Step 3: predictable schedules and routines.
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Step 4: Set expectations and boundaries.
Detailed Guide
A child with RAD has likely had an uncertain, neglected past.
For example, the child may not have been fed regularly as an infant, or bounced around from foster care settings so frequently that they never felt secure.
As a result, they constantly make attempts to “control” their environment through their behavior.They may manipulate others, rather than genuinely connect with them, because of this need to control.Other controlling behaviors you might see include:
Aggressive behavior and outbursts.Clinginess and constant need for attention.
Nonstop chattering.
A child with RAD may have not had much consistency as a baby or toddler.
It is very important, both from a behavior management standpoint, as well as the child’s own emotional health, that the child know what to expect every day.
Creating a routine for a child helps the child feel safe, cared for, and more relaxed.Let the child know the day’s schedule, then stick to it.
For example, you could say, “Today you are going to school.
After school, we’ll go to the park, then work on homework, then take a bath.” If the child can read, write the day’s schedule in a visible place.
You could also draw pictures for a young child.
Keep the routine consistent.
Kids learn from making sense of patterns in their lives.
They’ll understand what is next and understand the behavior expected of them.
They will also be less stressed because they know what is coming and how to deal with it.Give the child as much notice as possible if there is going to be a change in the routine.
For example, “Next Saturday you’re not going to swimming class as usual, because it is Kyle’s birthday party.
We’re going to Kyle’s house instead.” You could get out a calendar and show the child how many days away it is.Do your best to avoid changes in routine with RAD children.
It can be too stressful on them and you may notice a backslide in their behavior. , Be clear in establishing rules and expectations.Kids with reactive attachment disorder will find loopholes in rule enforcement and may argue with you, so you need to be clear and firm up front.
Make the child aware of consequences that will occur if he or she disobeys rules, and follow through with your stated consequences.
This can help the child understand that they do have control over certain situations, because they can control their behavior to avoid repercussions.
Consider creating a contract with the child that indicates rules, expectations, and consequences for not following the rules.
Keep the contract in an easily accessible place for reference.Keep in mind that a contract is a mutual agreement.
Let the child have a say in the rules and the consequences to help them take control of their behavior.
For example, your contract could say, “Charlie agrees to the following rules: 1) Cleaning his room once a week. 2) No fighting with his brother and sister. 3) Following directions the first time they are given.
If Charlie does not follow these rules, he will not be allowed to play video games for 24 hours.” You may also want to specify a reward for following the rules to help provide your child with some positive reinforcement.
For example, “If Charlie follows the rules, then he will get to play with his favorite toy.”
About the Author
Beverly Parker
Enthusiastic about teaching hobbies techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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