How to Prevent Arguments About Finances

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Talk about your view on money.

   One of the money problems that arises between couples is due to their differing position on money.
   
   Some people are spenders and others are savers.
   
   These two mindsets can strongly clash.
   
   To help get past this problem, you should talk about these differences.During this discussion, talk about whether you are a saver or spender.
   
   Having open communication about your ideas and feelings on money can help you start to solve or eliminate problems.
   
   For example, you may say, "I believe that money is hard-earned and should be enjoyed." Alternately, you may say, "Saving money is important to me.
   
   We work too hard for it to spend it often."
2. 2

   Step 2: Discuss what money means to you.

   Often, the arguments about finances aren’t about money specifically, but about what money means to the people in the relationship.
   
   To help prevent any financial arguments, you and your partner should explain to each other what money means to you and what it signifies.
   
   This can help you understand each other.For example, you may think that saving money means safety and security.
   
   You may think that saving money or spending it can show love and affection.
   
   Saving money may make you feel in control and like you have power.
   
   You may feel that you deserve to spend your hard earned money on yourself, or you may feel that you deserve to save your hard earned money for future plans.
   
   Determine if you or your partner use money as a way to measure success, status, or keep score with others.
   
   Make sure to discuss any fears you have about money and the way that your family approached money growing up.
   
   For example, you may say, "Saving money makes me feel safe.
   
   When we were growing up, we had no money, so having a savings account helps me feel like I'm taking care of my family."
   
   After you have discussed what money means to both of you, you should use the opportunity to understand each other’s position and ideas about money.
   
   You should not point fingers or try to make one of your right and wrong.
   
   There is nothing wrong with having different values about money.
   
   You have to work towards understanding, accepting, and compromising.For example, work on understanding why your partner feels that spending money is something they have earned and deserved.
   
   Try to see how saving money makes your partner feel in control and safe.
   
   Both you and your partner are two different people, which means you are not going to have the same opinions about everything.
   
   Communicating about your ideas of money can help prevent and avoid misunderstandings.
   
   If your partner has illogical, irresponsible, or contradictory ideas about money, that is a separate issue.
   
   You want to accept different ideas about money, yet help your partner work through illogical money ideas that may harm your family.
   
   Try saying, "I understand that you want to save money though I like to treat myself for my hard work.
   
   Can you explain to me why saving money is so important to you? I will explain to you why I think we deserve to spend some of our money."
   
   After you have figured out what each of you feels about money, you can then work on a compromise.
   
   Compromise means you both stay positive as you find a way to negotiate both of your values.
   
   Find some common ground that benefits you both.
   
   You should work on finding ways for both of your to compromise equally so one person isn’t giving up more than the other.For example, you may come to a compromise where you set aside money each month to spend on yourself while your partner sets aside a similar amount to save.
   
   You both can come to an agreement on what things are considered special splurge purchases, and decide what you want to save money on to purchase or invest in in the future. , If you and your partner are discussing money and start arguing or yelling, stop the conversation and go do something else.
   
   Stepping away for a moment will help you and your spouse have time to calm down and think more logically about what has been said.You and your partner will not always agree about money.
   
   However, it is crucial that you learn how to compromise so you can meet everyone’s needs and address each other’s concerns.
3. 3

   Step 3: Acknowledge your differences about money with an open mind.

4. 4

   Step 4: Compromise with both of your sets of values.

5. 5

   Step 5: Take a break and come back to the discussion.

Detailed Guide

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