How to Stop Being Competitive
Figure out your triggers., Figure out why something triggers your competitiveness., Re-think competitiveness in the moment., Stop making comparisons., Check your black and white thinking., Stop thinking of love as finite.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Figure out your triggers.
It's important to figure out what triggers your feelings of competitiveness and jealousy.
Maybe you get jealous at work when someone else does better than you, or maybe you let losing at a board game get to you.
Whatever your triggers are, starting to identify them can help you take control of situations where you're too competitive.When you feel yourself getting angry or irritable, ask yourself, "Is it because I'm jealous?" -
Step 2: Figure out why something triggers your competitiveness.
Next, it's important to identify why these things trigger your competitiveness.
Maybe you get competitive at work because you never did very well in school, and you're trying to make up for it.
Maybe you feel competitive at board games because you always felt less-than with siblings.To figure out why things triggers, spend some time writing about it in a journal or talking about it with a trusted friend.
Keep digging deeper to find the source. , When you're feeling competitiveness rage up, take a moment to stop yourself and re-think.
Is your competitiveness from jealousy? Is your jealousy merited? Try to remember where your jealousy is stemming from.
It's usually not from the current situation, so reminding yourself of that fact can help you calm the jealous beast. , When you see other people doing well, it can be easy to want to compare your life with theirs.
When you compare, you scrutinize both of your lives, and tally up who is better.
On the other hand, being competitive without the comparisons can spur you forward, as long as you aren't basing all your worth on the competition.Instead, realize that no one succeeds at the same pace.
You are right where you need to be right now, and you are enough. , Often, people who are competitive or jealous will also think in absolute terms.
In other words, you may think that if someone else gets praised at work, that means your work has been awful.
In reality, someone else doing well doesn't mean you're not doing well, nor does it negate how well you're doing., Sometimes, competitiveness springs from jealousy that other people are getting more attention or praise than you.
In other words, if your boss praises someone else's work, you start to feel jealous and competitive because it makes you feel like your boss doesn't value you work.
However, love and praise are not finite resources.
Your boss or loved one can praise someone else and still value what you do, even if they don't say it at the same time. -
Step 3: Re-think competitiveness in the moment.
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Step 4: Stop making comparisons.
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Step 5: Check your black and white thinking.
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Step 6: Stop thinking of love as finite.
Detailed Guide
It's important to figure out what triggers your feelings of competitiveness and jealousy.
Maybe you get jealous at work when someone else does better than you, or maybe you let losing at a board game get to you.
Whatever your triggers are, starting to identify them can help you take control of situations where you're too competitive.When you feel yourself getting angry or irritable, ask yourself, "Is it because I'm jealous?"
Next, it's important to identify why these things trigger your competitiveness.
Maybe you get competitive at work because you never did very well in school, and you're trying to make up for it.
Maybe you feel competitive at board games because you always felt less-than with siblings.To figure out why things triggers, spend some time writing about it in a journal or talking about it with a trusted friend.
Keep digging deeper to find the source. , When you're feeling competitiveness rage up, take a moment to stop yourself and re-think.
Is your competitiveness from jealousy? Is your jealousy merited? Try to remember where your jealousy is stemming from.
It's usually not from the current situation, so reminding yourself of that fact can help you calm the jealous beast. , When you see other people doing well, it can be easy to want to compare your life with theirs.
When you compare, you scrutinize both of your lives, and tally up who is better.
On the other hand, being competitive without the comparisons can spur you forward, as long as you aren't basing all your worth on the competition.Instead, realize that no one succeeds at the same pace.
You are right where you need to be right now, and you are enough. , Often, people who are competitive or jealous will also think in absolute terms.
In other words, you may think that if someone else gets praised at work, that means your work has been awful.
In reality, someone else doing well doesn't mean you're not doing well, nor does it negate how well you're doing., Sometimes, competitiveness springs from jealousy that other people are getting more attention or praise than you.
In other words, if your boss praises someone else's work, you start to feel jealous and competitive because it makes you feel like your boss doesn't value you work.
However, love and praise are not finite resources.
Your boss or loved one can praise someone else and still value what you do, even if they don't say it at the same time.
About the Author
Anna White
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in DIY projects and beyond.
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