How to Cope With a Renovation Obsessed Spouse or Partner
Tell your partner how you feel., Listen to your spouse., Pay attention to non-verbal communication., Ask your partner to name the things he or she loves most about renovating.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell your partner how you feel.
Communicating your feelings is an important part of a relationship.
You need to tell your partner if you are upset about the amount of time or money they spend on renovations.
It is important not to sound accusatory, but instead approach the issue from a position of mutual understanding and respect.
You could say something like, “I respect your enthusiasm for renovations but don’t share the same passion.” Alternatively, you may say, "I love the changes that you're making here, but I'd like for us to spend some time on other things at least once a week." -
Step 2: Listen to your spouse.
Listening is just as important as vocalizing your feelings when communicating.
Make sure that you actively listen to your partner and understand why they enjoy renovations.
You can show that you are listening by using a technique called reflection.
With reflection, you rephrase and repeat what the person who is speaking says to show that you understand it.
For example, if your partner says that they love the feeling of completing a project and getting the opportunity to be creative, you can reflect by saying, “I am hearing that you enjoy renovations because it allows you to feel a sense of creative accomplishment.” , Communication is both verbal and non-verbal and we often ignore our non-verbal social cues.
Communicate your feelings through words rather than tone and make sure you use inviting and open body language.
For example, speak at a moderate noise level.
Raising your voice while communicating may suggest that you are angry, or feel like your point is not being heard.
You should also keep your arms relaxed at your sides.
Folded arms can give off a signal that you are not comfortable in the conversation. , Try to understand why your partner enjoys doing renovations.
This may help you to make peace with the amount of time they devote to this task.
Denying your partner of all future renovations would be a mistake because this is clearly something they enjoy.
Instead, if you understand the pleasure they gain through renovations you may find that you are able to cope with a reasonable amount of renovating. -
Step 3: Pay attention to non-verbal communication.
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Step 4: Ask your partner to name the things he or she loves most about renovating.
Detailed Guide
Communicating your feelings is an important part of a relationship.
You need to tell your partner if you are upset about the amount of time or money they spend on renovations.
It is important not to sound accusatory, but instead approach the issue from a position of mutual understanding and respect.
You could say something like, “I respect your enthusiasm for renovations but don’t share the same passion.” Alternatively, you may say, "I love the changes that you're making here, but I'd like for us to spend some time on other things at least once a week."
Listening is just as important as vocalizing your feelings when communicating.
Make sure that you actively listen to your partner and understand why they enjoy renovations.
You can show that you are listening by using a technique called reflection.
With reflection, you rephrase and repeat what the person who is speaking says to show that you understand it.
For example, if your partner says that they love the feeling of completing a project and getting the opportunity to be creative, you can reflect by saying, “I am hearing that you enjoy renovations because it allows you to feel a sense of creative accomplishment.” , Communication is both verbal and non-verbal and we often ignore our non-verbal social cues.
Communicate your feelings through words rather than tone and make sure you use inviting and open body language.
For example, speak at a moderate noise level.
Raising your voice while communicating may suggest that you are angry, or feel like your point is not being heard.
You should also keep your arms relaxed at your sides.
Folded arms can give off a signal that you are not comfortable in the conversation. , Try to understand why your partner enjoys doing renovations.
This may help you to make peace with the amount of time they devote to this task.
Denying your partner of all future renovations would be a mistake because this is clearly something they enjoy.
Instead, if you understand the pleasure they gain through renovations you may find that you are able to cope with a reasonable amount of renovating.
About the Author
Amanda Thomas
Brings years of experience writing about home improvement and related subjects.
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