How to Accept Not Getting Your Desired Role in a Play

Allow yourself to be disappointed., Get some perspective., Channel your disappointment into motivation and action., Think of the positives., Accept that you were not right for the role.

5 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Allow yourself to be disappointed.

    It’s okay to be sad, especially if you put a lot of effort into preparing for your audition.

    Rejection hurts.

    Acknowledging and naming what you are feeling helps you work through your emotions.Try naming all the things that are bothering you.

    For example, you might say, “I am disappointed that I worked so hard only to get rejected.

    I am jealous that Jackie got a part and I didn’t.

    I feel left out that a lot of my friends are in big parts in the play, and I won’t get to hang out with them as much.”Talk to a close friend or family member about what you are feeling.

    Sometimes talking to others helps you feel better and help you better understand your thoughts.

    Be gentle with yourself.

    Take a day or two to be sad.

    Watch some movies or whatever you like to do to chill out for a bit.

    Then, regroup and move on to your next challenge.
  2. Step 2: Get some perspective.

    It is disappointing to not get the role you want, but there will be other roles.

    To be an actor is to routinely deal with disappointment, and know that you are not the first or the last person to feel this way.Talk to others who are feeling or who have felt this way.

    Maybe other members of the production’s cast and crew were denied the part they wanted.

    Find some common ground with them--you may even strike up a new friendship.

    Read books, articles, and blogs by other actors and learn how they deal with rejection. , Figure out your next steps.

    You missed out on this play, but there are other opportunities out there.

    You could look for other local plays or take acting workshops.

    Use this setback to become even more determined to succeed!Think about other roles you can audition for.

    Maybe you didn’t get the lead in the fall musical, but the winter play is coming up soon.

    Find out what the play will be and start preparing for the role you want.

    Look into other theater productions you can audition for.

    There might be local shows in your community that are holding auditions soon, and maybe there are even some professional opportunities near you. , Think of all the benefits of not getting the part you wanted.

    Even if they’re silly, write them all down and make a list.

    There are two sides to every coin, after all.

    For example, you might write:
    Fewer lines means less work trying to remember them.

    Limited appearances onstage means fewer after-school rehearsals to go to.

    A minor role means less pressure to do a perfect job. , A director may have a very specific idea of what they are looking for in a role, and for whatever reason, you didn’t fit it.

    You can give the best audition of your life, but you can’t control the director’s vision.Keep in mind that directors factor a lot of things into their decision about who gets the part.

    Perhaps the director didn’t think you had good chemistry with the person who would play your romantic interest, or perhaps your appearance wasn’t quite what the director had in mind for the role.

    These things are all out of your control.

    Don’t blame yourself.

    Rather than tell yourself, “I have no talent.

    Nobody wants me for their play,” try saying “I did my best, but I wasn’t a good fit.

    There will be other opportunities.”
  3. Step 3: Channel your disappointment into motivation and action.

  4. Step 4: Think of the positives.

  5. Step 5: Accept that you were not right for the role.

Detailed Guide

It’s okay to be sad, especially if you put a lot of effort into preparing for your audition.

Rejection hurts.

Acknowledging and naming what you are feeling helps you work through your emotions.Try naming all the things that are bothering you.

For example, you might say, “I am disappointed that I worked so hard only to get rejected.

I am jealous that Jackie got a part and I didn’t.

I feel left out that a lot of my friends are in big parts in the play, and I won’t get to hang out with them as much.”Talk to a close friend or family member about what you are feeling.

Sometimes talking to others helps you feel better and help you better understand your thoughts.

Be gentle with yourself.

Take a day or two to be sad.

Watch some movies or whatever you like to do to chill out for a bit.

Then, regroup and move on to your next challenge.

It is disappointing to not get the role you want, but there will be other roles.

To be an actor is to routinely deal with disappointment, and know that you are not the first or the last person to feel this way.Talk to others who are feeling or who have felt this way.

Maybe other members of the production’s cast and crew were denied the part they wanted.

Find some common ground with them--you may even strike up a new friendship.

Read books, articles, and blogs by other actors and learn how they deal with rejection. , Figure out your next steps.

You missed out on this play, but there are other opportunities out there.

You could look for other local plays or take acting workshops.

Use this setback to become even more determined to succeed!Think about other roles you can audition for.

Maybe you didn’t get the lead in the fall musical, but the winter play is coming up soon.

Find out what the play will be and start preparing for the role you want.

Look into other theater productions you can audition for.

There might be local shows in your community that are holding auditions soon, and maybe there are even some professional opportunities near you. , Think of all the benefits of not getting the part you wanted.

Even if they’re silly, write them all down and make a list.

There are two sides to every coin, after all.

For example, you might write:
Fewer lines means less work trying to remember them.

Limited appearances onstage means fewer after-school rehearsals to go to.

A minor role means less pressure to do a perfect job. , A director may have a very specific idea of what they are looking for in a role, and for whatever reason, you didn’t fit it.

You can give the best audition of your life, but you can’t control the director’s vision.Keep in mind that directors factor a lot of things into their decision about who gets the part.

Perhaps the director didn’t think you had good chemistry with the person who would play your romantic interest, or perhaps your appearance wasn’t quite what the director had in mind for the role.

These things are all out of your control.

Don’t blame yourself.

Rather than tell yourself, “I have no talent.

Nobody wants me for their play,” try saying “I did my best, but I wasn’t a good fit.

There will be other opportunities.”

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Helen Freeman

A passionate writer with expertise in cooking topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.

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