How to Accept That You're Getting Older
Have realistic expectations., Try to relax., Avoid denial., Redefine attractiveness., Embrace your past, but don't try to relive it., Be proud and grateful.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Have realistic expectations.
Our culture encourages people to think they can be young forever if they just use the right creams and take the right supplements.
The fact is, this just isn't true.
As you enter your later years, try to develop realistic (not pessimistic) expectations of what getting older will actually be like.Don't expect the worst--having a negative view of the future can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Likewise though, don't expect to be able to do everything you did in your 20s.
If you have realistic expectations about what you will and will not be able to do, the transition to this period of life will be easier.
Even the most youthful 90 year old, for example, usually won't be found skateboarding or deep sea diving.
In fact, most people who live to this age will need help with tasks like getting groceries from the store.
This doesn't mean, however, that you won't be able to take a stroll in the park with friends or play your favorite instrument. -
Step 2: Try to relax.
Many people panic when they realize they are getting older.
The result is a "fight or flight" response that causes people to frantically look for a solution, rushing out to buy the latest miracle cure.
Try to stay calm and take things in stride.Being calm allows for more sober reflection on the situation.
Thinking clearly allows us to come to terms with reality sooner.
This, in turn, makes it possible to start accepting the changes that aging brings and finding happiness in this new stage of life. , There's nothing wrong with doing what you can to look and feel your best in later years.
However, accepting you are getting older means you shouldn't try to mask or hide your age from others (or yourself).
If you putting on a mask of honey and yogurt makes your skin feel better or smoother or slows wrinkling, great.
Healthy activities that help you look your best are fine.
Don't try to do things to "cover up" your age though.
It might be time, for example, to ditch the super-tight cut offs or toupee.Clinging to illusions of physical youth keeps us dependent on the validation of others, rather than helping us accept ourselves for who we now are.Think carefully before getting plastic surgery.
The jury is out on the extent to which it actually makes people feel more attractive.
What is clear is that sometimes when you get work done in one area, it only serves highlight wrinkles in another.
This can start you down a path of one procedure after another, after another.
Before you get one of these procedures, think about whether this might be the start of a road you don't really want to go down.
It is often better to accept yourself for who you are., To extent you are able, try to rethink what attractiveness means, focusing on the whole person rather than a youthful physique.
You are never going to look like a 20 year old again, but being attractive in your 40s, 50s, and 60s means something different than it did when you were in your 20s.Being self-assured and healthy is a different, more mature kind of beauty that you can aspire to.
It will give you a sense of self-worth and attractiveness that trying (unsuccessfully) to look like your former self will not achieve.This may mean you have to argue with your inner voice.
Because of the culture we live in, there's probably going to be a voice in your head saying "I look so old" or "I'm getting fat." Speak up against that inner voice, and counter it with positive statements like "I am healthy and loved."
Your past is a huge part of who you are.
Reflecting on where you've been can help you become a more mature person, and reflecting on the changes you've gone through before can help you accept the changes you are experiencing now.
Trying to relive the past as a way to cling to your youth, however, only delays acceptance of who you are now.A certain amount of nostalgia is inevitable and normal, but resist the temptation to try to recreate the past.
For example, if you want to play football again to recapture some of the joy you experienced when you were younger, then keep in mind that you may not be able to play as hard or as long as you used to.
You will probably need to start slow and build up your strength and endurance.
You may also want to check with your doctor first to ensure that you are healthy enough to play. , The fact that you are getting older means you survived.
Not everyone does.Further, the life experiences you have had have taught you lessons and, hopefully, granted you a wisdom younger people don't have.Be proud of what you have achieved and grateful for your life experience.
Your perspective can be an advantage.
You may know things about life that many people do not.
Reflect on your life and see what lessons you can find there.
Think about how you can make this wisdom valuable to others.
Try keeping a gratitude journal to help you keep track of all of the things you feel grateful for.
Keeping a gratitude journal or even just telling a loved one about a few things you feel grateful for each day can increase your happiness and well-being.For example, you might note that you feel grateful for your friends, a beautiful sunset, or even just a good cup of coffee.
Keep adding items to your list every day and check it from time to time to remind yourself about what makes you feel grateful. -
Step 3: Avoid denial.
-
Step 4: Redefine attractiveness.
-
Step 5: Embrace your past
-
Step 6: but don't try to relive it.
-
Step 7: Be proud and grateful.
Detailed Guide
Our culture encourages people to think they can be young forever if they just use the right creams and take the right supplements.
The fact is, this just isn't true.
As you enter your later years, try to develop realistic (not pessimistic) expectations of what getting older will actually be like.Don't expect the worst--having a negative view of the future can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Likewise though, don't expect to be able to do everything you did in your 20s.
If you have realistic expectations about what you will and will not be able to do, the transition to this period of life will be easier.
Even the most youthful 90 year old, for example, usually won't be found skateboarding or deep sea diving.
In fact, most people who live to this age will need help with tasks like getting groceries from the store.
This doesn't mean, however, that you won't be able to take a stroll in the park with friends or play your favorite instrument.
Many people panic when they realize they are getting older.
The result is a "fight or flight" response that causes people to frantically look for a solution, rushing out to buy the latest miracle cure.
Try to stay calm and take things in stride.Being calm allows for more sober reflection on the situation.
Thinking clearly allows us to come to terms with reality sooner.
This, in turn, makes it possible to start accepting the changes that aging brings and finding happiness in this new stage of life. , There's nothing wrong with doing what you can to look and feel your best in later years.
However, accepting you are getting older means you shouldn't try to mask or hide your age from others (or yourself).
If you putting on a mask of honey and yogurt makes your skin feel better or smoother or slows wrinkling, great.
Healthy activities that help you look your best are fine.
Don't try to do things to "cover up" your age though.
It might be time, for example, to ditch the super-tight cut offs or toupee.Clinging to illusions of physical youth keeps us dependent on the validation of others, rather than helping us accept ourselves for who we now are.Think carefully before getting plastic surgery.
The jury is out on the extent to which it actually makes people feel more attractive.
What is clear is that sometimes when you get work done in one area, it only serves highlight wrinkles in another.
This can start you down a path of one procedure after another, after another.
Before you get one of these procedures, think about whether this might be the start of a road you don't really want to go down.
It is often better to accept yourself for who you are., To extent you are able, try to rethink what attractiveness means, focusing on the whole person rather than a youthful physique.
You are never going to look like a 20 year old again, but being attractive in your 40s, 50s, and 60s means something different than it did when you were in your 20s.Being self-assured and healthy is a different, more mature kind of beauty that you can aspire to.
It will give you a sense of self-worth and attractiveness that trying (unsuccessfully) to look like your former self will not achieve.This may mean you have to argue with your inner voice.
Because of the culture we live in, there's probably going to be a voice in your head saying "I look so old" or "I'm getting fat." Speak up against that inner voice, and counter it with positive statements like "I am healthy and loved."
Your past is a huge part of who you are.
Reflecting on where you've been can help you become a more mature person, and reflecting on the changes you've gone through before can help you accept the changes you are experiencing now.
Trying to relive the past as a way to cling to your youth, however, only delays acceptance of who you are now.A certain amount of nostalgia is inevitable and normal, but resist the temptation to try to recreate the past.
For example, if you want to play football again to recapture some of the joy you experienced when you were younger, then keep in mind that you may not be able to play as hard or as long as you used to.
You will probably need to start slow and build up your strength and endurance.
You may also want to check with your doctor first to ensure that you are healthy enough to play. , The fact that you are getting older means you survived.
Not everyone does.Further, the life experiences you have had have taught you lessons and, hopefully, granted you a wisdom younger people don't have.Be proud of what you have achieved and grateful for your life experience.
Your perspective can be an advantage.
You may know things about life that many people do not.
Reflect on your life and see what lessons you can find there.
Think about how you can make this wisdom valuable to others.
Try keeping a gratitude journal to help you keep track of all of the things you feel grateful for.
Keeping a gratitude journal or even just telling a loved one about a few things you feel grateful for each day can increase your happiness and well-being.For example, you might note that you feel grateful for your friends, a beautiful sunset, or even just a good cup of coffee.
Keep adding items to your list every day and check it from time to time to remind yourself about what makes you feel grateful.
About the Author
Catherine Kennedy
Specializes in breaking down complex DIY projects topics into simple steps.
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