How to Act Like an Irken (from Invader Zim Cartoon)

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: The basic goal of the Irken race is total universal conquest.

   So you don't have to care about other species.
   
   Change your mind, to be an Irken you have to think like a real Irken.
   
   Everyone around you are just humans, you decide to hate them (just like Zim), limit your interaction (like Tak) or ignore them ( like the almighty tallest ).
2. 2

   Step 2: Make everyone believe that you are an alien with a special mission: to conquer the Earth.

   But don't go around school saying "Hey I'm an alien and I'll destroy you"
   
   a real Irken would never do this! They want to be unnoticed.
   
   So if someone ask you if you are an alien pretend to be nervous and say “What are you talking about? That’s nonsense! You are crazy! Crazy!” and run away. , Practice your evil laugh, and at random times laugh and shout an evil plan or something like this: "Mhahahahaha! Humans are so weak! Mhahahaha!"
   
   PAKs installed into their spines directly after birth.
   
   An Irken PAK provides critical life support to its host, augmenting several mental functions including an Irken's personality and memory.
   
   A PAK's Memory Drive contains the Irken's memories, knowledge, skills and highest scores.
   
   The Atmospheric Processor allows the Irken to breathe in any known atmosphere.
   
   Finally, a Charging Cell provides power to the PAK.
   
   The PAK also stores an endless variety of tools and robotic accessories.
   
   An Irken can only live for about 10 minutes when detached from its PAK.
   
   So you can get a normal backpack , put weird stuff in it, handy stuff and always use it, you can add many secret compartments to your "PAK".
   
   If someone asks you about your PAK just say "So what about your shoes, you are always using them!" and go away with an evil smile or laugh. , Zim likes to shout, go around and say things like :"Oh, is this cake? I like cake! Humans eat cake!" Your friend: "Hey what's wrong? You act like an alien" You: "Liar!" and run away. "Tell me, what is this? Tell me!" point a normal thing such as an apple and when they answer you, just say "An Earth apple! Of course!"
   
   The almighty tallest like IRKEN doughnuts, IRKEN popcorn, IRKEN etc.
   
   Don't eat food that's not from your house, if someone want you to share just shout "No!, that's special foo..!, I mean (lick the food) I just licked it, you don't want my germs". , If you really have to eat something you can do two things:
   Eat it and just say, "Hey this pizza thing isn't that bad!" or just run to the bathroom and make strange noises. , Look at them and say something strange, such as "Hello, I'm going to live my human life, so go away filthy human!"
   
   You must avoid it! If it's raining, run and yell "My skin! It burns! Niaaaaa!".
   
   But you still have to drink it! Always drink all liquids through a straw.
   
   You can keep many straws in your PAK. , When you're alone, pretend that you are inventing, or experimenting on something.
   
   Laugh while you are doing this, or maybe just a creepy smile will do it. , Or just put random Irken letters on your things. , Use it on all your possessions, you can also draw a little logo next to the date in your notebooks, or draw it while doodling. , Add "normal" phrases and read them when you need them.
   
   If your friend says, "Hey are you coming?" You read: "I have to buy a swimwear, I love the sun!"
   
   Make everyone believe you are really trying to act like a human but you can't.
   
   USE YOUR NOTEBOOK! If you are writing the homework, take out the notebook from your PAK and read in a weird tone "Oh no I hate homework" and put it away.
   
   Act like nothing happened. , Dress with very weird colors and stuff, as if you are trying to fit in but you simply can't.
   
   If someone says you are weird, simply say, "Hey all this stuff is human stuff! From the mall! THE MALL! , This includes "monies" and "foodening".
   
   Also, use odd phrases, such as cleansing-chalk, arm-control nerve, and noise-tube.
   
   Be creative! You can always come up with new phrases for different occasions. , If anyone of the lower species tries to make small talk with you, scream "I'm Normal!!" and run away.
   
   Or just do this at any random moment.
   
   If anyone looks at you strangely, clear your throat and say in a quiet voice "I mean, I'm normal."
   
   Don't slouch! Hold your head high.
   
   Refuse to make eye contact with the lower species.
3. 3

   Step 3: The evil laugh is essential for an Irken.

4. 4

   Step 4: All Irkens have PAKs.

5. 5

   Step 5: Shout a lot.

6. 6

   Step 6: Irkens don't eat human food.

7. 7

   Step 7: Stare at the cafeteria food and the people eating it strangely.

8. 8

   Step 8: Act insane and enjoy freaking people out.

9. 9

   Step 9: Irkens burn on contact with water.

10. 10

    Step 10: Try to be alone at times

11. 11

    Step 11: not all the time though.

12. 12

    Step 12: Learn the Irken Alphabet.

13. 13

    Step 13: Learn how to draw the Irken Army Logo.

14. 14

    Step 14: Write "Human Phrases" on the cover of a notebook.

15. 15

    Step 15: Act like you can't act.

16. 16

    Step 16: Dress like Zim or just dress weird.

17. 17

    Step 17: Use Irken Vocabulary.

18. 18

    Step 18: Be "Normal."

19. 19

    Step 19: Walk like a proud Irken Invader!

Detailed Guide

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